I have not told anyone this but one of the reasons I’m gonna kill myself is because I will not live the 9 to 5 pace. I don’t want to work like a programmed robot doing the same thing everyday. Life does not sound interesting. What’s so appealing about stressing about money your whole life. I don’t want to keep living simply because people say I have too. My life has never been easy I’ve worked my ass off to get everything back to where it should be. Nothing is what it seems it sounds good but in the end it causes a hole in […]
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Everyday Life
How worthless someone can you make you feel. How you confess your undying love for them and they take advantage of that. How can someone do that? Someone you thought could never ever ever hurt you. Truth is, life is full of ups and downs, with dissapointments, the only thing that matters is how exactly you take that infromation and apply it to your everyday life.
I have been with my boyfriend for a year now (someone who I should not be with due to a bad influence: Weed, drugs, alcohol), recently he had gotten into an accident (DWI)Â I told him I loved him as soon […]
I am a dreamer, I admit. I am not always realistic. That’s a fact. I followed my dreams. I was never afraid to chase after the crazy ideas in my head. The processes has been painful. I have failed again and again, yet managed to slip by. I watch as my grades hit catastrophic lows and my social life deteriorates. All of my dreams are slipping through my fingers. Why can’t I do what everyone else can? I am intelligent. I am creative. I have endless possibilities. …But that’s all they’ll ever be… possibilities. While I could write a poem that would bring you to […]
I am a very cowardly person. Â I am a waste of space, oxygen, food and my parents’ money. I have not and never will contribute anything good to society nor nature, and therefore I believe it preferable for both me and the world that I leave. I would also like to be an organ donor. I just hope my organs would be good enough for anyone due to my unhealthy lifestyle. Most of the time I agree with myself that suicide is the best thing to do. But I can’t, for the following reasons:
Lack of courage. I am always afraid and worried of everything, and […]
I have been lurking on this site for a while, and a few months ago I began to post some of my own thoughts here. Within a short span of time this site has begun to play a very important role in my everyday life. It has generated a wide-range of emotions from me, especially the SP-Chat.
Through this place I have experienced some of the happiest moments of my life while at the same time it has caused me much emotional and mental anguish. I’ve become quite addicted to visiting this site, reading posts, hearing the ideas and emotions people are expressing and learning from […]
A battle, a fight, another day. Every morning I wake up and the first thing I do is check to see if I still remember how to smile, I’m not sure when it happened but piece by piece my emotions were shattered and I slowly started faking them to get by.
I guess it did have a beginning. I once had a dream, a direction in which to aim for and look forward to, but it fell to pieces and went from being a realistic future to a childish night time fantasy. I tried to fix it, I tried to create a new dream, but every […]
I posted something the other day, but it really didn’t explain my ‘history’ as people are calling it.
Hey. I’m Adrienne. People call me Addie. I’m almost 18. I have a great family (except my dad). I put a shitload of pressure on myself. I have been cutting myself for about 6 years. It got pretty hard-core during the last 3 years. I don’t do it to feel alive, per se; I do it to punish myself for anything I can think of, or if I just feel depressed. I have attempted suicide twice, both times failing (obviously). I have been seriously considering doing it again, […]
When I was born I had the perfect family. Typical happily married young aspiring husband (my dad) and loving devoted child rearing wife (mom). Â Up until around age 3 everything was alright. Â Then even as a young kid, I noticed that my Dad yelled at my mom a lot. I didn’t understand why my mom would cry every day when my dad left for work. She started drinking a lot. She never neglected or mistreated me in any way, but she just became even more withdrawn. By The time i was 5, My family had already moved 3 times. My mother had endured giving birth […]
I have batteled depression since I was a teen, I am 31 now. I just started really getting treatment and tring to stick with it over the past year or two. I have a wonderful truley caring psychiatrist and am on a number of meds as she tries to find something that works.  In the mean time suciadal thoughts and idealations are a part of everyday life, I just want to be shut out and isolated from everyone so far that my mind keeps putting thoughts into my heads as to ways to kill myself. And I have tried, twice as a teen and twice […]
This is such a weird, yet brilliant website. A place to explore each others internal thoughts, without having to know each other’s name. Reading each post here, I know more about some of these normally unheard people than the people who spend every day with them. Maybe some of the users of this website get annoyed by the use of this website by teenagers, sadly like myself. Anyone who has been through teenage years will blame it on hormones. “Everyone feels the same at your age” “This is normal” “Everyone goes through hard times in their teens” and I’m left feeling no better than I […]
i don’t know how to continue on with my everyday life. in my family, among my friends, nobody knows how i feel.
i hate who i am, i hate how weak i am, i didn’t get abused by my family or anyone at all, i’ve got both my parents so i keep telling myself im not allowed to feel sorry for myself, so many people is worse off than me. but i still feel sorry, and that makes me hate me more.
i’ve been sad and hurting since i started noticing my mother wasn’t normal, she and my dad are devorced. and my two older sisters never took […]
I really can’t take this anymore. I’m sorry to all of you who take offense to me, since you all have real legitimate problems that I want to help you with if it weren’t for my own selfishness and self loathing got in the way. I’m sorry.
I hate my family. I always try to see the good in people rather than be a total pessimist, but I am always proved wrong. I hate how my father comes home everyday piss drunk. I hate how my little brother is treated like a king when he acts like an asshole 24/7. I hate how my older brother […]