I am destined to destroy myself my darker thoughts may lessen from time to time but they never go away the need for physical pain and inebriation holds me down. For every good day there are thousands of bad ones. I’ve never done anything good for myself. I convince myself I don’t need to eat today get blackout drunk grab a razorblade or hunting knife and cut myself open and watch the blood pour. I can keep myself busy and not think destructively but when I sit and think for 5 minutes I think about shotguns and razors. No one cares to be around me […]
Tag:
Evil Person
please read
Please give me your best advice
I am a 33 year old mother of two, I was with the father of my son & daughter for 12 .1/2 years. I was 16 when we started our relationship. He was 10 years older then me and how I found out was though finding his driving licence as he told me when we first met that he was 21:- (26)was the truth  even then he still tried to say it was a fake. I should of realised then what he was all about but being only 16 young and being my first love I was blind!! I […]
so i dont know why i put myself through all this bullshit. well i got a job..yay:/ i made my parents happy and i guess its good because that means extra money in my pocket for razors, diet pills and cigs. maybe its what i need. i was with her all day..im just going to call her T but thats beside the fact. im seeing my ex boyfriend who im still madly in love with and i just could date him because i know how fucked up i am and i never want to hurt him and i just want him to be happy. but […]
I’ve never understood why the people around me see me being suicidal as an assault on them. Sometimes I feel like the attempts that people have made to save me are just vanity driven allowing them to remain void of guilt largely because when people realise they can’t save me they get fed up and leave. It’s clear they don’t care. But worse than all of this is the way everyone from ‘friends’, family, and sometimes even mental health professionals use emotional blackmail against you. I’ve been called selfish because I have a 5 year old daughter (she has been taken from me). My alleged […]