Here’s a scenario… imagine your life was nothing. Imagine waking up every morning scared of what will happen today….knowing nothing will happen because you aren’t good enough and some one in your head constantly reminds you of it. You promise yourself it’ll be different but that second person knows it wont and flaunts it. You get ready for school and if you don’t have time or your hair isn’t doing the right thing you freak out and hyperventilate. You think you’re having a heart attack and can not breathe but you still make your way out the door and to the bus for school. Once you […]
Tag:
Eye Contact
I was supposed to kill myself almost 3 years ago on my 24th birthday. I wish I had.
I can’t bear the knowledge that my ex is moving on with her life and happy and doing well while I am so tortured over what transpired. Losing her love is horrible, but losing her as my best friend–that’s what just makes me wish I was dead. I’ve been optimistic about life, and doing OK sometimes and looking forward to the long vacation which I just got back from. But now I’m back and all alone and feel like I’m at square one. There are times when I’m […]
After coming home from school, my ride dropped me off at my sisters smoothie shop. There my sister barely talked to me, and barely made any eye contact with me. I tried acting normal and trying to talk to her,but she wouldnt say anything.  I sat at one of the tables ani took out my books to do my homework. My sister said someing and i didnt hear her so i asked her to  repeat it. Then she started to say all this shit about me. She started saying things such as, youre a disgrace, im embarrassed to call you mysister, youre inresponsible,  and you […]
I’m almost 22, but I feel old. People have said that I am an old soul, but I think that’s just because I’ve had too much alone time to think. I’ve been mistrustful of people since I was a kiddo, and since then I have become isolated and friendless. My two younger brothers are going through their own psychological trials and keep to themselves. My older sister was like a beast when we were little, and I can’t even bring myself to express how much I resent the ways she manipulated and hurt me. I hardly talk to her. My mom is emotionally distant, due […]
I am 23 years old. Â I am a new to this forum. Â The reason I joined is because I feel relentlessly hopeless like all of you. Â I feel I no longer have an escape. Â I have burned all my previous ties with my family and friends, and I have not had a social life in over 2 years. In fact, I do not even leave the house anymore. Â I am alone, in debt, and miserably empty.
In High school I had an extremely fruitful social life.  At the age of 18 I was slowly covered by a blanket of  torturous anxiety. The anxiety is strictly social. […]
I have major depressive disorder and social anxiety/borderline avoidant personality disorder.
I was going to go to group therapy. I never did.
I was seeing a counselor. I stopped going.
I take an anti-depressant. It helps a lot but not enough I guess. Less anxiety and less pain but that isnt enough.
I live a solitary life. I am like a hermit. I barely speak to people. I avoid women. Don’t make eye contact, speak as little as possible. If they seem to like me, become vaguely hostile…put up those old barriers. Whatever it takes. Because it hurts and they can hurt me more. But all I really want […]
I have no real complaints, I have a job, no mortgage, no dog, no loans no-one depending on me. I have low self esteem and little or no self worth, I am a perfectly functioning person so long as I don’t have to talk to anyone. On those glorious days when I can go about my business with not an utterance falling out my mouth, not a single bit of eye-contact. I thrive. I live in a city though. Where it is extremely difficult to avoid everyone.
When interaction, is unavoidable, I regress into my shell arms legs and head in short, turtle like. I become a […]
(no particular order, i will add to it, i don’t mean to offend anyone, please don’t take it so personally)
People who make too much eye contact when your talking to them.
People who STARE…
TALL pEoPlE
i hate how im so different
PEOPLE WHO CALL YOU SHORT
I HATE HOW LIFEÂ doesn’t make a shit load of sense
POPULAR PEOPLE-kill them all… no im kidding…. ..
People who use you.
PEOPLE WHO DON”T LISTEN TO YOU, you need to scream until they answer
MORNING PEOPLE
BAD ACTORS (NICK CAGE-WTF borring
I love sleep
Dislike:waking up
DIslike:bedtime(insomnia)
i hate sleep paralysis
 I LOVE BEING ALONE
I hate how im so meaan to myself
I hate how i think im a pathological […]
Im putting this somewhere in cyberspace since no one in my life would bother to read it if I left it here and I want someone somewhere to know my story.
Ive been alone for so long now that I can barely remember what its like to have an actual conversation and the crushing solitude has crossed the threshold of the unbearable and any hope of rekindling any kind of social connection has long since faded so its time to hang it up (not literally though im way too much of a ***** to do it that way). […]