About 5 months ago , I had a horrible night . My moms drunk boyfriend was fucking her in the living room and made me sit next to them and kept yelling “Your next little one!” ( it keeps replaying in my head still this day ) and I sat there crying. Obviously he wanted to have sexual intercourse with me. When he went to bathroom to use it , I ran out of the house. I hide in the dark underneath cars hiding from my moms boyfriend ( lets call him H ) , he was yelling my name like a concerned father. I […]
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Failed Attempt
I tried hanging myself with a shoelace just now. I wasn’t off the ground, it was tied around my door handle and the other end my neck while I sat on the ground. I’ve even seen a successful video on this being done and I don’t understand why mine wasn’t successful. Anyway, I could barely breathe and I could feel myself getting lightheaded and my ears even felt weird like almost numb, but I sat there for a very long ass time and did not pass out or die. Wth! Can anyone explain why this could have failed? It was not bc I didn’t wait […]
My appointment is roughly 24 hours away and it will be the first time I’ve gone to a therapist/doctor – now I’m wondering: if I mention my recent failed attempt(s) and my true thoughts will they commit me to hospital? Â My attempt a week ago failed then two days later I was thwarted by a recently installed fence preventing me to simply hop into an exit.
The appointment is with a psychologist however, she works with a psychiatrist in the same office. Â Honestly, I’m not even sure how I’ll feel speaking to this individual even though she was quite comforting during the initial telephone call so […]
I am new here. I attempted suicide about 3 weeks ago, twice in less than 24 hours. The first time I was found by my siblings who got into my house and the second time, I was found by the police. I ended up in the hospital unconscious for two days and spent a further day in a ward with old people, who were bed ridden. I was under constant observation, not even able to go to the toilet unattended. As a psychology student, it was one of the most degrading and humiliating experiences of my life. I felt so ashamed facing my family after […]
Hey , its my first time to post on SP ..
My life right up to now hasnt been great my cutting started 5 years ago wen my nan passed she was the meaning to my life and was sadly taken away which led to me getting depression .. I tried ending it but had a failed attempt which made it worse because my mother dragged me to one counsellor to another none helped which is why i still cut today .. At the end of last year i was molested which really made me break down … I want to dir to make the […]
Was anyone else HOPING the world would end in Dec? I guess disappointment abounds. I’ve been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for over twenty years now without ever seeking professional help. I try to shun the outside world as much as possible because I thought that it would be easier than the loss and pain that come from relationships with people, but I’m not sure that lonliness is something that’s any easier to live with. I think about killing myself every day, but it’s been 13 years since my second failed attempt. Part of me still wants to believe that there’s a reason I’m […]
I attempted suicide last night again.. but as you can tell i didnt succede. I took a handful of prenatal vitaims but just ended up heaving my guts out along with some blood. My dad and i got in a huge fight, cause i hung up on him in the morning while running for the bus.
It got worse when he planned TWO doctor appointments in the middle of my end of course test. I was pissed so i sent him a angry text in all caps. Then when i got home i went to a friends to install a game onto my computer and we […]
I have often been the kind of person to sit and slag other people off for wanting to commit suicide until one day i realised what it means to no longer want to live. I want to go away and die and look over my family now that my world has done me over. I once had it all and now i have nothing anymore so i’m ready to say goodbye all i want is for it to be painless like most of the other posters on this site. Please help me find a pain free way of leaving this world. I have contacted Dignitas […]
Okay everyone, it’s my birthday today and I feel like crying. Today’s the day I decided I’d go through with everything and actually commit suicide, but after my last failed attempt, my parents are really keeping an eye on me. Not that they care ofcourse, they just don’t want to go through with all the shame of having to tell everyone their daughter committed suicide. Hah, I’m so tired of everything. I’m tired of pain, I’m tired of not being good enough for my parents, I’m tired of getting bullied, I’m just tired. 15 years is quite a long time. Idk, I’m worthless anyways, everyone […]
This is a first. I’m sitting in the dark, if it weren’t for the glow of my phone’s screen. Pathetic, is it not? The age we live in. Specifically 4:46am in the wilderness that is upstate New York. This place is devoid of all things meant to nourish – as a life long denizen it’s cruel atmosphere is taking it’s harsh toll on me. Too many thoughts, too many restless nights….the cold air has entered my mentality and is stifling all that may prosper. I lay here contemplating attempt #3. I have given up yet again. It’s been 6 years since […]
I’m 15 years old. My parents are divorced and have been since i was 2. My dad cheated on my mom with my now step mom. My mom remarried when i was 14. Ever since i was about 5 and started gymnastics, my step mom didn’t like me. She never actually told me that, but she hit me over and over so i could tell. She’s hit me with her fist, a book, a chair, and a belt.She has even threatened to stab me with a knife.
My stepdad sexually abused me multiple times around age 8. The nights i stayed at my moms house and was […]
let me start by saying, i tried to kill myself in 2003 by slitting my wrists, i made a mistake of doing it outside and i made such a scene that i was found before i could end what i had started (pity).I have never spoken to any of my friends about that night.The only person who knows what happened is me so i hope i press publish (Which will be a big moment for me ).Roll forward to 2012 and the battle inside is in full flow.I havent had a job since 2003 either which hasnt helped me (i have something wrong with me which makes it nearly impossible for anyone to […]
Because I’m not the one that wants to end my life. My Girlfriend just called me 20 minutes ago and said she was getting ready to jump off a local bridge thats about 120 ft high. She hasnt picked up the phone since that call. I only hope she was bluffing, but she has brought this up more and more over the last few monthes, including one failed attempt with Valium where I had to take her to the hostpital and have her stomach pumped. When they told her they were going to put her in a phychriatric ward she flipped out and had me […]