to find someone who you can truly confide in? Through my life, I’ve met a ton of people and made a ton of friends. I consider them my ‘real’ friends whom I can talk to about anything. However, with time, they’ve each proven me wrong. I just want someone. Someone who can actually keep secrets. Who actually gives a damn about me. Who actually genuinely cares about my problems. <p>
Shit, all I’ve ever wanted in life was to have that one person whom you can fall back on, knowing they’ll catch you. Knowing they’ll have your back through thick and thin. I can’t find […]
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Family Friends
How many of us continue to struggle and suffer in a place we no longer want to be? How many of us have tried therapy, medication, family, friends, and religion only to realize that you still want to leave this world? Most of us know how we want to go and when we want to go, but have that one thing that keeps us from moving toward peace… our families. If we could just cover up the fact that we committed suicide and make it look natural or accidental, we’d probably take that final step toward death. If this is not your situation or concern […]
I decided on Nov 18, 2012, that I did not have 1 single happy day (or half day, or real significant moment of relief) that I would wait 365 days and if things had not improved (i.e., the happy moment), that I was done here, my work completed, and that I would just check out.
I have a great job, a nice family and all that “people strive” for – in fact, I feel selfish writing this post because I know full well that I am not hard done by…. but I lost the one. Not only did I lose her, but I made it happen, […]
And how they’ll conduct an autopsy and cut you up. Â And your family/friends looking at your dead body. Â Not that it matters because you’ll be dead but it’s a sobering thought for how serious death is.
**This is a jumbled up mess…**
Ever wonder why you bother? I always do. I find nothing in life that is worth fighting for. I feel lost and alone. But I know I’m not. My family, friends, and girlfriend love me very much. It has been them that has kept me from following through with my dark thoughts. I’m writing here today because I made a pact with myself before I started college. If I could no go through with it, then I have nothing left to offer. I told myself it’s over once I get that email, letter, talking too. People saying you failed! Why bother?
It happened.
Now […]
1. It’ss ok to die whenever you want to.
2. It’s ok to try to find other ways of living if you think you’re not at the end of your tether yet.
3. Nobody ha the right to tell anybody what to do.
4. It’s not shameful to talk about suicide.
5. As much as it’s ok to die whenever, just don’t die over trivial little matters please!
6. People who don’t want their significant others/family/friends to die, need to consider why they’re suicidal in the first place, and help them.
7. You’re allowed to vent and rant! Express yourself however you want, just don’t […]
I told my parents that I am bipolar-2 and that they must not tell anybody in the family or outside the family before I explain what that means. Â People think bipolar = crazy, schizophrenic, split personality, criminal, nuts… Â you get the idea. Â These types of labels pretty much sink a person’s life completely.
Nobody wants to hire you. Â No one that was in your social circle would be a recommendation. Â No job prospects. Â Not money. Â No lady wants to be with a man who cannot even get a job. Â Family throws you out because they think that the reason you can’t find a job is because […]
but soon. i’m ~30. this is a long time coming. it’s been in the back of my thoughts as long as anything else at this point. i guess it just got to be where i was impossibly tired of failing at getting better, not hurting people by being unstable, etc. i always felt too much of an obligation to my family/friends/significant others, or just got scared. the utter frustration of repeated failure eventually ground that fear down. it’s a relief! it’s the first thing that’s made sense in a long time. the only odd thing about it is the surreality of getting one’s affairs in […]
I am new here. I attempted suicide about 3 weeks ago, twice in less than 24 hours. The first time I was found by my siblings who got into my house and the second time, I was found by the police. I ended up in the hospital unconscious for two days and spent a further day in a ward with old people, who were bed ridden. I was under constant observation, not even able to go to the toilet unattended. As a psychology student, it was one of the most degrading and humiliating experiences of my life. I felt so ashamed facing my family after […]
Family..”friends”…”lovers” (yes with an S)
If youre reading this, youre probably surprised.
You failed to pay attention to the hurt behind my eyes
To the lies. It mustve been a million times ive said that i was fine.
Dont cry, you wont miss me.
Thoughts with my face will fade like the mist as you live blissfully.
You’ll cry in their faces but rejoice behind backs
You’ll make jokes like “too bad, she hada nice rack”
You’ll pretend with your friends you remebered my figure before i disfigured it. Maybe get hit by a car..if it’s bigger it’s better then. Or find my corpse in the […]
This is what i need desperately to tell my mother, but i cant because she committed suicide 6 month ago.
She was sick, desperate and when she told me she was going to kill herself, i couldn´t believe her. I didn´t do anything because it just simply CANNOT be true.
I regret a lot of things but the worse, what I cant stand, is that she had to kill herself to die. I wish, even though she wanted to die, she could have the chance to do it pacefully in a bed instead of what she did. It really breaks my heart to imagine how much she […]
I’m bipolar II.
That’s like a bipolar I without the happies.
The fellow that I thought was one of my last friends always told me that if I needed help, I should not run away again, but call him.
I did. Â I did not tell him that I had gotten much much sicker in the head. Â I’d been hearing voices for a while and didn’t notice until now. Â I was getting help from my doctor, but I wasn’t sure how far it would go. Â Hospitalization? Â I had no idea.
I was going to the hospital the next week, so I wanted to line things up with the fellow. […]
Hello to anyone who is reading this. I am confused and I feel so alone, even surrounded by loved ones and co-workers. I am a well-educated 24 year old female. I have a science degree and took too many psychology courses to count, but somehow I still can’t seem to get my head sorted out. I’ve never really suffered from depression or suicidal thoughts until a few months ago and lately it’s all I can seem to think about. I’ve lost interest in all my formerly beloved hobbies and I have lost my appetite. I find it so hard to pay attention in grad school […]
So a few of you knew how my mom threatened to kick me out the other day.
Well it’s happening for real. Tomorrow I’ll be packing my stuff in preparation to move out of my house and into someone else’s. There’s a couple at my church willing to let me stay in their home, so I’ll have a place to stay.
I’m 15. My mom got kicked out of her house when she was 13. My dad left his house when he was 16. I guess you could say we all moved out early.
Anyway, I just want to let you guys know that this […]
So i was a happy girl, and i had friends, best-friends infact, i was chubby and proud, and never wore make up and honestly could’nt care less..and then when it hit year 9 everything changed, i got fed up of the ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ comments, and could’nt take it anymore, i went on the laptop alot and looked on websites like tumblr, but more importantly i looked at blogs like thinsperation. Â At first i just looked but never did anything, and then i started to starve myself in crave of a thigh gap and collar bones. I stopped eating completely and gave up on food. […]
I’m alone. Sad, tired of trying, of living. Tired of waking  up to a bright happy world, and seeing nothing except grey, and things only I can see, hearing sounds of joy, but only hearing the voices of my despair. Franks gone now. Replaced, forgotten. Austins here. He’s just as bad. Eyes are staring, watching with a pointed loaded gun,  or a knife waiting for the right time. I am forgotten, none cares for the sake of me, waiting for the right time. 17. The magic number. 15, countdown. They say if I die, I’ll be back in my world, back in Hallaqu, with Austin, and Goob, Frank, and 200. My […]
So here is my story..
i am a 22 year old female and I’ve never been more lost in my life. I really don’t know why..i have a great family, friends, job etc…but i feel empty, i cant control the way i act, think, or feel. its like someone else takes over and i cant even find myself.  What i find most difficult is to explain how i feel. No words can really express it. I’m usually just all over the place. Say one thing, do another. I’m not exactly sure what i want and I’m very indecisive. i worry about absolutely everything and when i even try to […]
This may be an odd question. Hell, even I think it’s odd. You’ve been forewarned.
I have been (and I can only assume others have as well) on this do-I-really-want-to-die-or-not kick recently. God that sounds pathetic. I go through periods of ready, willing, and able, just deciding on a good time and place then back to I don’t want to hurt those I care about before once again planning. I once went to a therapist. She said she couldn’t help until I decided if I was willing to stay alive and actively participate. Yet how does one decide that? What thought processes does one go through in […]
Dear Reader,
I will hang myself in a few minutes. I know it’s selfish and harmful to my family, friends and people I know. I know I can continue my life somehow but I feel depressed and anxious all the time. I don’t feel like I can function successfully in society for more than a few weeks or month. As shown by my failing in my 3rd first semester of university, despite getting good grades initially. Maybe staying home and relying on someone else for the rest of my life is an option for me, yet I can’t do that. It’s embarrassing and pathetic.
There are things […]
This is not a story of hope, even though it starts of like one.
It’s been five years since I first tried to kill myself via exit bag, after six years of depression. After that failed attempt, I decided that if I wasn’t going to die, then I was going to try to live. I decided to do everything I could to leave my old life behind – family, friends… everything.
Things started getting better career/work-wise. I went to college and graduated top in my major. I was able to move across the globe (literally, with a 12 hour time-zone difference), because I am doing my PhD […]
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