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Final Straw

I hate this house

by Jess
written by Jess

I hate this house. I hate Ottawa, I hate the whole damn province. I hate what this place has always stood for. Since I moved to this fucking urban wasteland all I’ve felt was angry, depressed and suicidal.

I hate what this house stands for too. In this house all that’s happened was me getting yelled at, me yelling back, me crying, and me being ignored. I hate the kitchen, this is where all the fights happen, this is where all the knives that I can never use are. I hate the living room, I spent an hour there yesterday being explained exactly how I’m nothing […]

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I hate this fucking house

by Jess
written by Jess

I hate this house. I hate Ottawa, I hate the whole damn province. I hate what this place has always stood for. Since I moved to this fucking urban wasteland all I’ve felt was angry, depressed and suicidal.

I hate what this house stands for too. In this house all that’s happened was me getting yelled at, me yelling back, me crying, and me being ignored. I hate the kitchen, this is where all the fights happen, this is where all the knives that I can never use are. I hate the living room, I spent an hour there yesterday being explained exactly how I’m nothing […]

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Its gone on long enough

by Sarahjane
written by Sarahjane

Where do i even start this sob story? I’m only 19 and from the age of 8 ive been depressed and not wanting to live, i tried to commit suicide when i was 15, and now at 19 i feel that low again that im just waiting for the final straw to snap and to do it again although i dont want to die but i dont want to live either, its a confusing stage. It all began when i was 8 and my mum was in a relationship with an abusive asshole who made me feel like shit and played mind games and i […]

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Seizure City

by TheFinalNail
written by TheFinalNail

How do you really tell someone you’re in pain without it bothering them? Without making them feel useless for not being to help you?  Normal activities will only take you so far. Should I return to pointlessly opening my flesh? How many OD’s til I get it right? When will this spit stay in my mouth? When will my body stop aborting itself? I don’t want to kick and thrash anymore. I don’t want to freeze in one state for minutes on end. I want my old life back. When I was a humorous person to be around, when I would laugh at myself even. […]

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“We Only Arrive At Ourselves In A Freely Chosen Death” Jean Améry

by Bodhisattva
written by Bodhisattva

“I have tried to view it from the interior of those who call themselves suicidal or suicides”.

( Words from Jean Améry )

I just wanted to recommend this book which i know will be of interest to many of you,

I have found it quite difficult & frustrating  to find serious, intelligent & quality critiques or books on other point’s of view about Suicide & this subject overall, as all i keep becoming drowned in is only the fucking Utilitarianism & Christian Inspired Philosophy which is very annoying & frustrating,

Anyway i hope some of you will check it […]

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just a glimpse.

by hopeless.
written by hopeless.

a year and a half ago, i stood on the train tracks awaiting death. however, two women pulled me off. i was instantly hospitalized. i spent a month there, between inpatient and outpatient care. before then, i was in my first real relationship. we’d been together for over a year and he would constantly tell me how he plans on proposing to me. i get that i shouldn’t have believed it, that I’m too young for talk like that…but it all felt so real. a month before the incident, i approached my boyfriend, explaining to him how i wanted to end my life. at first, […]

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Why didn’t I just kill myself a long time ago?

by lunabell1987
written by lunabell1987

I am starting to feel like I am being punished for being alive, I wasn’t truly meant to exist anyway since I was unplanned.  I can’t have one good thing happen and if something does, I pay for it later on.  I have been through so much in my life, was mentally and physically abused by my dad, had to watch it happen to my mom who is disabled, been into women’s shelters, was raised in a cult like religion which left me without friends, social activities was highly restricted, no help from them with what was going on at home since they said in […]

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Am I a worthless failure or am I a victim

by Kyledubs
written by Kyledubs

Well geez…. i dont even know where to start. My parents fought since i was little. My sister would cover my ears so i wouldnt hear it. We moved to ohio in the 4th grade from Sacramento and i attended a private school. I was made fun of for being hyper as well as colorblind, being asked if i was retarded or gothic because i like black so i quickly learned to shut the fuck up and keep out of the spotlight. I transferred to public school in 7th grade and it was better but still not good but I guess all the suicide nonsense […]

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Failure Takes the Place of Hope

by breaking.the.cycle
written by breaking.the.cycle

Two more days, and then Thanksgiving.  My husband and I declined an invitation to visit his dysfunctional family.  It is an hour drive, all to stuff food and negative conversations into our stomachs and minds.  With one economic and personal crisis after another closing in, our lives are in shambles.  Even the gas prices to hit the road for an obligatory visit, are too much.  Bringing something to drink, contributing food…it all adds up and we can’t afford the cost, emotionally or financially.   Also, this crowd eats as though every meal is their last.  I savor each bite.  They are clobbering the dessert before I […]

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