I got my first job today and i completely blew it because of my stupid anxiety. I HATE IT! It literally ruins my life like everyday. I’m such a failure and I got in everyone’s way, and I messed up orders and miscalculated. I need to get my shit straight before I jump in head first for something.
I just want to be normal.
I know this is ridiculously long and most of you won’t care about what I have to say. That’s okay. I just needed to release some depression somewhere. I’ve been feeling worse and worse lately even though I know I’m trying to head in the right direction. I just needed to vent some frustration. I always say I’m doing this for me, changing for myself, but it still kills me when my family shows me how worthless I am… so here are my thoughts for the past week.
I’m amazed at how well I’ve become at wearing a mask. I’m able to conceal my emotions so […]
I can’t do this anymore. I just…..can’t.
I met the love of my life close to 5 years ago. Huge age difference….she just turned 18. At first I knew it wouldn’t work, but then out of nowhere I got her pregnant. So…we both decided that it was best to go forward and see how things went. I moved her up here from Florida and we settled in. Our daughter was born just over a year after we had gotten together. Things were……terrific. We were told by so many people that we were the perfect couple. We couldn’t get over each other. We had to be around […]
Today is the day to enroll in that shitty tafe course I mentioned before enrollments have to be done by 3… And it is now 11:51am
Im still in bed thinking about how I’m not going to waste 1600 on something I’m going to fail, besides I don’t ever have that money! I will never have that money with the amount of shifts I get.
I got onE shift this week for 5 hours oh that’s helpful. Not.
Hm I’ve applied for nightclub work but like usuall no ones bothered to contact me, I suppose it’s only been 2 days but hm.
I’m also dying […]
I’m not sure why I am writing this, but I’ve never written any of this down before and maybe it will help, even if no one else comments on it or even reads it…
I’m a 26-year-old woman. For the past couple of months, I’ve thought about killing myself on a daily basis. I will look at a blank wall and visualize my blood splattered against it. I will imagine throwing myself in front of a fast moving train while on my way to work. I do not consider myself depressed. It just seems the only logical conclusion.Â
I am currently in a relationship with a wonderful […]
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