I started thinking about the fact that I’m different. By that, I mean that I don’t have any friends at all, and I’m always alone. I’m antisocial because I never had any social skills, not even when I a kid, my mom literally needed to push me out of the house so I could go out and make friends. Making friends was always the hardest thing to do because I was affraid of people and I was affraid they wouldn’t like me. I don’t like people at all – I always have that one tought that everyone is stupid and boring. I also have a […]
I do but then again I couldn’t care less. There’s just so much pain behind the fake smile that I put on my face every morning in order to “fit in.” I’m just tired, can someone come and shoot me in the head? I don’t deserve to live anyways, I want to die.
Sometimes I just try to be positive.
Igrew up in a- well, not poor, but not wealthy- family. So by the way every single problem was money.
Our father left us, I have a sister that has cerebral palsy,
and well there are maaaaany negative things in my life, i went through horrible stories in my life and things that i just heard out from my mom and everything
I don’t have real friends, I mean, no one tries to hear me, cause they think that im crazy, even my boyfriend sometimes he just doesnt want to hear me or something, i think he thinks that everything that is […]
I think this is the happiest I’ve been in a while…I…
Let me start:
When I was younger, I was bullied. I had no escape from the world. That was, until the day I got my mp3. Music was a whole different world to me. It still is. It’s all I breathe for. My life, my love and my soul are devoted to this otherworldly being…I’m intoxicated…
Anywho, there was one song preprogrammed into the mp3. I couldn’t pronounce the name at the time, so I just called it Jane and Eric’s waltz. It fit at the time. I had fallen madly in love with the song, […]
I don’t know what to do any more. Everything I try to do fails, my friends are all starting to give up on me and I don’t fit in with my family, they keep on making my life a living hell and I know that I can’t keep on going on like this.
Every day I think about just ending it all, it would be so much easier. I find my self lying awake at night unable to sleep and imagining how much better off everyone would be if I wasn’t here any more.
I want to get some help, but I’m so scared to go […]
I’m about throw up i feel so bad like I’ll die in five minutes.. i don’t know i never feel like this before help me i don’t know what to do i feel useles.. like I don’t fit in anywhere
(sorry for my bad english I’m from chile)
I wont even know how to describe it. All those ways how I was acting made me feel extremely embarassed about myself. I thought I was missing out on a lot, and I tried to catch up. But instead I was making a fool out of myself. After we stopped talking, I tried to fit in, but it would only lead me to feeling more embarassed. I never cared about the future, but now I pretty much began disregarding the flow of time. It became scary for me to leave the house. I was getting progressively depressed and anxious. I tried therapy, but I never […]
(A lot of the things I have to say in this post are comments I have already made in replies to posts by others. If something I say seems familiar to you, you probably read one of my previous comments.)
I once heard someone say that for some people, this world was never going to be quite right. I agree with that assesment. I see many people here on this site just like me. They feel alone, even in a room full of people. Somehow, no matter what we do, we just don’t fit into “the groove” that everyone else seems to. Because of this, everyone […]
Insecurity is a part of our lives. It’s what strikes the fear of rejection into us. Insecurity is something that drives us to perfect ourselves, so we can “fit in.” We’re scared of rejection and just want to be able to fit in. But… So many people, so many guys and girls alike are judged on their appearance, and personality. It hurts to get judged Rejection hurts, being an outcast because you’re not as pretty as someone you know.. It hurts. There is one thing you have to always remember though, you are perfect just the way you are, with every flaw you have. Anyone […]
every time i try to be happy it always ends up in a disaster
i have always been bullied all my life ever since i was a little girl. i am 15 now and i am still being Put down by others because i dress different and my way of thinking is different than others. i can’t seem to fit in ….. i mean i don’t want to fit in its great to be different but the insults and rumors …. and THE lies are what hurt me. all i ever wanted, was for my life to be different and… for me to be happy. […]
I used to be the most popular (I hate that word) girl in my school. & in the whole district. For all good reasons though. Like I am a fun person to be around & I’m just a good person. I have two groups of friends.. Well I had two groups of friends. The one group is all bitches & their cheerleaders & the other one is all basketball players.. Even tho I don’t play I still fit in. But in the cheerleader group I was friends with the one girl who was really annoying & one time we went to camp together & we […]
im sitting here and its past mid night
regretting ever little thing that happened in life
you cant take back the hands of time
the situations fit the crime
you got to move on
but moving is hard
since you concede your self to living in the dark
ive got no reason to be happy, or sad
i live my days always mad
mad at what? i don’t fucking know
i think sometimes its all for show
you have to feel something deep inside
so why not get pissed? its not easy to hide
then people will think your real,
people will think you feel
All of these fools around me,
who think the world is just dandy,
don’t know the hell,
people like us go through.
We are the ones,
who are constantly judged,
by the ones who think themselves perfect,
but are really just the same as us.
The only difference between us and them,
is that we are brave enough to show it,
while they sit their and throw a fit.
Quote: Who is the bigger fool? The child afraid of the dark, or the man afraid of the light?
Not sure if thats necessarily a good thing.. I used to live on this forum a few months ago.. I don’t know what changed even. One day I just got confident. I thought I could finally live without these thoughts everyday. I don’t need this forum, I said to myself.
Well here I am again. Lower than I was months ago. I can’t handle this anymore. I have access to a gun now. That’s probably the one good thing about right now. Otherwise I’m completely broken. I just need him. why does god do this? ugh not even god why does MY HEART want him […]
ive been doing some thinking lately, which isnt really normal for me. im usually impulsive, which isnt good since its got me where im at today.
but i dont really think im suicidal, more like i just want to stop existing in this world. and the only way to escape it is to die. but i think i would still be the same way i am now, even if life had dealt me a different hand. i would always feel lonely, even if i was surrounded by people. i just feel like im different, everything im into or not into doesnt fit the fold. everything i […]
When I was diagnosed bipolar in 2007, my life was greatly devastated. Since 2002 I was taking online screening for depression on a pretty often basis and finding I was considered “severley depressed.” Now I was being told that sometimes I’m extremely happy? When have I ever been happy? I was hospitalized for 3 days a day after the first Christmas my Grand-Mother passed away when I was diagnosed by this hospital as bipolar. I could understand if I may have falsey put on a smile when saying hello to a nurse in passing but, it doesn’t even sound logical that I was happy. I […]
Sometimes I just do things and don’t realize how fucked up those things are until it’s too late. It’s like something just takes over my mind or body. I have sex with boys that I don’t really like then I get mad at them for calling. I am not a good person. Or I don’t know how to be one. I don’t really know. I always say that I’m not just one of those bitchy girls who plays mind games and fucks around. But I am, that’s exactly what I do. In fact, I’m probably a lot worse than all those girls because the entire […]
Do you ever just want to fade away? Have no one think of you or what you’ve done, and not deal with the shit you’ve made. I do not know where this all began I’m really only a 14 year old girl. Do you ever feel like you are being watched all the time? Like they are watching you and laughing at you and being hurt by you, and judging you all the time? Well I do. It’s this constant feeling of judgement, I feel. And the pressure is literally beginning to kill me. I just can’t handle it anymore. I feel like everything I […]
It all started at the beginning to high school, 9th grade.
I fit in perfectly, I made new friends everyday, hung out, went to parties, dated. Normal stuff that people would expect a normal teenager girl to do. But…I wasn’t exactly happy. Sure during the moment of all those parties and drinks and evenÂ experimentingÂ with weed a few times (nothing I’m proud of anymore) I was happy. But after that adrenaline rush went away, and I sat in my bed looking up at my bedroomÂ ceiling, I knew I wasn’t happy.
I guess I could say it started when I met Joe. He wasn’t someone that went to my […]