She wonders if anyone else could smell that. The rust and dirt on the brick path beneath her feet, the damp smell of the lake at the end of the trail. Could anyone else hear the soft patter of her cats paws following her as a baby from a distant home stirs and is about to wake. Finally, she veers off the path into the moonlit grassy area closest to the waters edge. An unknown creature moves in the water. She holds her left arm with her right as crimson lava exudes out of cuts drawn on her forearm. A breeze comes off of the […]
Tag:
Forearm
I thought I was on my way to overcoming the sadness but it seems I was wrong. I feel so so so so alone and also unbelievably numb but somehow really sad all at the same time and I can’t really explain how bad I feel right now, just that it’s been a while since I was this low and that yesterday I cut over the almost completely healed scars on my thighs. I don’t even really know why I did it, I think I just like seeing the evidence, seeing that my inner pain can be converted and can mark me on the outside […]
I want so badly to hurt myself right now. I want to tear at my skin first with my nails and then with a knife and I’ve never wanted it so  badly before. I both want to and don’t want to at the same time. I want to attack the soft completely soft and smooth and unmarked skin on the underside of my forearm because it will be a work of art and I long to see the angry raised red skin that will appear after a long nail session, then the red that will bleed when I get my razor out… I want it […]
Well today’s the day. Sunday. The plan was to end my life tonight. Leaving a couple different notes addressed to different people. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time. Planning since the beginning of the school year, which started August 27, the day before my birthday. The plan was to wait until after my parents went to sleep, then go do it. My method is not the most preferred method out there, in fact many people hate it and think it’s like THE WORST one. But I have my reasons and I have tried twice before, failing obviously. Waking up in a hospital room surrounded […]
This isn’t really to do with my suicidal thoughts… I don’t know, maybe it is.
But this website seems to be the only place where people “understand” my poetry. My “art”.
This is a poem I wrote about a woman that I was in love with. That I still am in love with. To make a long story short, a couple of months back, she told me that she didn’t love me anymore. Just like that. I honestly believed that we were going to get married. And then she does this.
I can’t blame her, and I know it would be worse if she had […]
Hi my name is Madelaine and I am 19 years old. Iv been suicidal since I was about 13 years old and it just progressed from there. For 10 years I was sexually assaulted so as I started going from a little girl to a teenager my mind just soared with anger. I was bullied all through primary school and High school. I was the geek, the nerd, the one noone liked because to them I was ugly. It just kinda stuck so I think I am ugly…
My mother never accepted me. I was never good enough for her. So i just wanted to die […]