Tag:

Forties

[Notification of intent…3]

by Dead Right 1/23/2013

written by Dead Right

I noted a reply to one of my earlier posts that stated I was not actually talking about committing suicide immediately or maybe that was never my intent at all. To this I reply, if you were around on the Suicide Project six to twelve months ago you would not think that.Â The only reason I did not finish the job was because I was evicted from my home of 20 years because I had lost my job and became broke very fast.
Prior to becoming homeless last April, I had my Final Exit all planned out and was only waiting for the best time…for me.

The […]

1/23/2013 3 comments

Why Should I Go On…?

by awasteofspace 11/24/2012

written by awasteofspace

I’ve never looked completely normal just enough to ‘pass’.

Whenever my limits reared their ugly heads I was called a ‘faker’. Raised before bullies existed.

Raped by a female classmate before there was anyone to tell. Does that really happen between 2 girls?

The only redeemer was a mind that was sharp but then left out because I got moved ahead. Still alone.

An ‘afterthought’ child with siblings moved to be on their own; just an ‘irritant’ when I was around them.

Raised by a couple who were better as grandparents not wanting to be a mom and dad again; just pretending.

Wanting to be special to someone, be loved and […]

11/24/2012 2 comments

Never good enough, never alone, but lonely

by ML 1/14/2012

written by ML

Don’t really know how to begin, but know I want my pain to end.Â Kinda ironic, looking for an ending before a beginning.Â At almost 52 I have been a freaking caretaker my entire life, taking no care of myself, just everyone else.Â Alcoholic father, died 26 years sober…not bad!Â Molested as a child, by a brother and watched my sister being molested, which she denies.Â Found out in my forties he molested my other brother, too. Â Lived with my molester as an adult, as my sister moved home when her 1st husband died with her 2 sons, (she has 3 and they are […]

1/14/2012 13 comments

Offering Hope

by Struggling To Survive 7/18/2009

written by Struggling To Survive

Fellow Sufferers:

I’ve lived with Bipolar Type 2 since I was 12 years old.Â It is a form of manic-depression in which you don’t usually have psychotic problems, but you do have major mood swings — mild “ups” (hypomanias) followed by normal periods, and then crushing depressions.

I was not diagnosed until my middle forties.Â I attempted suicide three times in my early twenties. I still have sporadic suicidal ideas when I go through bad periods in my life. I’m nearly sixty now.

Since Bipolar Type 2 is genetic, it pervaded my family. My childhood was not good, to put it very mildly.

I know that when you are […]

7/18/2009 5 comments