I cant see myself growing old. Somehow I just know that my death will not be a natural one. Ive spent my entire life on my knees just trying to crawl through this darkness with no end in site and I am so tired. When I ask myself what the best part of living is I immediately think death because it is the only thing that ends this unbearable cycle. I spent the first five years of my life being regularly raped by a family member and watching my mother die from an incurable illness while being beat on by my drug abusing alcoholic father. The […]
Tag:
Foster Care
6 months ago, my 12 year old brother was in independent detention when he tried to choke himself with the wire of a spiral notebook. Gladly, someone caught him and they had the school’s deputy escort him to a behavioral institution. At the end of my school day, I was waiting down in the band hall for two of my friends, Valerie and Wolfgang, when I got the text from my mother that read: [Your brother] tried to kill himself at school. Dad and I are going to the Littleton Behavioral Institute. We don’t know when we’ll be home but you need to take care […]
I am so lost… i am a single father 2 kids, their mother is a drug addict and has abandoned them for 3 years march 12th, i have 2 deaf parents so growing up was very hard, to never be able to talk about your feelings to your own mom hurts me alot, i know sign language but its just not the same… i have constant feelings of giving up, when i look at my kids i cry, when i think about my family i cry. i have gone nowhere for my whole life, dropped out at 16 and never made a attempt to be […]
A close friend of mine did something similar to this on his page so I decided to try it too. The difference is I guess my suicidal thoughts and low self esteem started long before online friends or dating.
I grew up in a family of eight plus. We did foster care for two kids so there was sometimes an extra girl in the house. I was always biologically the oldest though. If you’ve grown up in a big family, then you probably understand where I’m coming from when I say it’s like survival of the fittest. And when the three oldest siblings are you […]
Fucking hate them. Assholes. They ***** and complain about how Im always negative and then when I decide to be positive or funny, “Jessica stop.” “Jessica Im not in the mood” “Jessica Im so stressed out” and I sigh.
20 minutes later they start bitching again about my negativity. Fuck you! Ugh. I dont wanna be here anymore. Put me in foster care, drop me off at an orphanage, push me on a relative I dont give a shit as long as Im not here.
Haha Id rather die than spend another second with all these assholes.
my depression started when i was nine i figured out what had happend to me i was sexually assulted by parents i was put in foster care adopted into a family that is the reason of my pain and cutting and suicidal thoughts and many attempts they hate me they hate the way i dress my music everything about me they basically call me an attention seeking whore and when i cut i feel nothing and death hasnt taken my soul yet simply because i do not have one worth taking i feel like im drowning but not dying this is slow and painful life […]
I honestly dont know what Im doing here…..sharing my story with strangers. But I guess I really have nowhere else to turn….I really dont even know dif anyone reads these things anymore.
Anyway, here goes nothing. I am 26 with 3children. My oldest was born handcapped and lives with her father. My boys have been in foster care since October 2011. Here in Canada, if a child is under the age of 6 and in foster carefor more then a year, they lookto putting them up for adoption. To know me is to know my children are my world and the only reason they were removed […]
I’ve never been a person who believes in the supernatural but there’s one curse I truly believe in which is my own life, or should I say, my family and I. This is my first post on here so I’ll make this relatively brief but from my outlook my family is cursed and I’m the one worst off. Mother and father divorced at age 3/4, sister in foster care by age 8/9 after serious drug problems causing mental health issues. My mother and uncle dont talk to one another any more after my uncle decided to believe a bunch of lies his wife said about […]
Hello everyone,
I guess I’ll just start with the basics. My name is Jamie, I’m 20 years old and I live in Ireland. I study Computer Science and I’m just starting my last year. I have suffered from depression for close to 7 years now. I guess I had a rough life. I was abused by my father, sister and my relatives. My mum died from cancer when I was 14. She was also abused by my father (which is the worst part). I’ve been through foster care. I hate myself. I cut, I do drugs and I don’t eat enough. I’m ready to die but […]
Ever since I was born life has never been easy for me.  My mother suffers from a mental Illness, my father was abusive and my uncles where thieves and drug dealers. I can’t remember back to when I was young, but I still have a few very vivid memories. When I was two one of my brothers and one of my sisters passed away. When I was three my mother and father split up.  My sister and 2 brothers and I got put into foster care only a year later. We moved on to abusive carers who beat us and punished us harshly. I remember being […]
I’m sick of  everyone. it seems as if everyone i know is self-centered I’m sick of it. Everyone comes to me for help like my “friend” comes to me saying hes going to kill himself so I do what every good friend does and keeps on talking to him but all he does is say he hates me and that I’m a whore because i was molested and why wont i just let him go die. I know he didn’t mean it…I never take to hart what anyone says when their mad but he must have wanted help or else he wouldn’t have stayed on the […]
I’ve spent a long while thinking about my decision. Life just is just shit for me and it always will be. Shit started when I was 6, when I just came to Ireland with my mom to meet my da, I honestly had no memory of him before, life got bad when he entered it. It was a bearable kind of bad though. My sister was born later, after a while I got used to him beating my mom. It was bearable. When I turned eight and he got his new job, I dont know why but he began to turn on me as well […]
first of all let me say i dont have problems in school im an A student i go to a good christian school even though im not christian .
i do have problems in life i have since i was 8 . the big drama’s started when i was 12/13 im (16)
my mother is a heavy  heroine addict and hasn’t payed attention to me since i was born … when i was 8 i was taken into foster care and moved from place to place till i was 13 where i was put in a residential with 2 to 3 other girls where they decided to […]
I learned this recently. The story is very confusing. Are you ready?
This is who I thought I was: a severely schizophrenic German boy, who was severely abused as a child, alongside his twin sister. He has a boyfriend, who also has a twin. He is in Foster care.
Who I really am: a Canadian girl, less severely abused, with no twin, no boyfriend, and no Foster care.
What happened: I have multiple personalities. I suppose I’m transgender, because all the personalities are male. I am also schizophrenic, though not as badly as previously thought. The original personality, the female birthed 18 years ago next week, is gone. […]
People have told me, “Don’t do it, Emma” and “You can talk to me about anything”. But I can’t. I know I’m not alone in this but it always feels like I am. I’ve had people call the Suicide Hotlines on me and I’ve helped other people get through their own depressions but I can never seem to shake the pain, loneliness, jealousy, or depression. I have problems I know I need to fix but I just can’t.
Im 14. My name is Emma and I live in Colorado. When I was three, my mom and dad divorced after my mom knowingly broke my younger brother’s […]
I realize that there are many of you who are in the same amount or worse pain than I am. I need to tell my story, and hope that someone can help me.
The past five years have been a nightmare for me. One of my very closest friends died at the age of 48 from a brain tumor. My Mom had a stroke, and then died last year from cancer after receiving a cancer-free diagnosis only a month before. I lived with her and was her primary caretaker for four years. I asked my family if I could live in our home until January (I would […]