After putting a gun to my head yesterday I decided to go see my psychiatrist today. Â I called the ombudsman in my area about his lack of ethical behavior earlier this year. Â After 4 months, the case was assigned a ‘resolved’ status without my knowledge. Â I MADE THE FUCKING COMPLAINT!!! Â How can it be resolved without me even being notified? Â The agency has lied to the ombudsman from day one and she told me that they told her the situation had been resolved. Â I asked her what the resolution was cause I sure wasn’t included in that decision. Â The agency told the ombuds that they […]
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Fucking Asshole
I feel like I am a failure at life, I also feel like I hate myself. Whenever I tell someone that I dislike my life, they tell me, “Oh theres ppl starving living on the streets.” See thats what I hate, when people tell me that. It’s almost like they are telling me that its my job to be happy because I am not that person. It’s hard for me to be happy, to motivate myself, to try something new, or just go out for random things. I always want to be by myself, or at least tell myself that. I get bored with everything, […]
so, today i felt like i had to write my suicide note because i was feeling really crappy.  i don’t know if  id ever do it, but i had the biggest urge to tonight. so here it is, just so i could tell someone.
mom, i love you and i always will. you were always there for me, always helped me with anything. but i dont think i could be helped this time. this was my own choice.
i have always wanted to leave. i was always forcing that smile and laugh, just so you thought i was happy. i was never happy. i don’t know […]
I am so angry with myself, I just want this to stop. I’m mad that I could be like this. I get really angry with my loved one I don’t even mean too … Than shortly after I’m crying about it cause I feel like such a fucking asshole . How can I get so angry with something so stupid, why is every little thing that he does or that happens have to get to me? I want it to change but I don’t know how to control it, and I try to tell him I have no control but he can’t understand because he […]