I’m really bored and I have a bunch of work I should be doing but don’t wanna do. I was drawing something but gave up in the middle of and stared watching Bleach and I REALLY WANT TO FINISH IT but i have so many episodes left to watch. I need to keep myself busy. What do you like to do to pass this time of boredom?
As tears stream down my face
Your world moved on anyway
You left me at my darkest hour
But I still managed to find a flame
You said goodbye without speaking
You left me there with no explanation
And that…
That is what hurt the most
In a heartbeat you gave up on me
But in a lifetime I never gave up on you
I wish I could forget you
Like the way you gave up on me
Everyday is the same. I can’t sleep, I sit in bed trying to remember why I even do this anymore. When I get up I’m in pain and I shut myself in this little prison I’ve made of my room. I’m truly alone, I don’t exist to anyone.
When no one is home sometimes I’ll stare out my front windows and wonder what it’s like being those people that walk around with friends without having to worry about panic attacks or breakdowns. I’ve tried an extensive amount of medications and none of them help, they usually give me bad side effects too.
I can’t afford a therapist […]
You judged me for my madess hated my tattoos and gave up on me when I needed you the most. You sick f*ck. I thought you accepted me for the meagre nothingmess that I was but this belief is draining my faith in humanity. The world was only judgemental because I allowed it to be, and as I start over as my vulnerable 14 year old self this will all end. Heres to being empowered, I pray my love affair with the noose will die after […]
Not for me but my friend. He has passed. Taken his own life. I was emailed the news. Horror filled me. I fell to my knees and wept. I was lone and still I buried my face into my hands to hide my sorrow. I felt the pressure build inside my head, my stomach turned. He knew that I loved him. I don’t have to regret him not knowing. I never left him. Never gave up on him. It wasn’t enough. His demons were ruthless and unrelenting.
He was hurt over and over again by the people who should have been his protection. I feel numb, […]
i wish i could get hit by a car. if i die then then great but if not i could get a clue to see who actuallly cares. ive had so many fake friends that ive completely gave up on being social. i avoid talking to anyone at all costs. my dad calls me anti social in a joking matter but its true i guess.
Welp I wanted more alcohol but my Aunt the Conqorer said no! I had to get 1 12 pack of cooers motherfucking light. Since alcohol is the only thing that brings me joy, it’s very important to me to get drunk off my ass at least once a week. She is also controlling my xanex intake, which I use to sublimement for alcohol,
I tried to explain to her that I no longer want to live and gave up. I told her this many times before. She said, “well if you would have killed yourself in 2009, you would never have met your wife”. Well she’s […]
hiohneh is an user of this board and I can’t talk to her, I am unable to send an e-mail because it seems to have got deleted by her and the blogspot she used to write is down!
I was really trying to help this person but it seems that it wasn’t enough and I am really worried about her and I don’t have another way to contact her I don’t know what to do!?!
I fear that she gave up and I will really miss this person.
I thought that she just wanted more time to chill off, but it seems that it was my fault because I […]
This will be my last note to everyone. I lay awake waiting for something to happen, waiting for someone to text me, waiting for forgiveness, waiting…. That’s all I’ve done with my life. I’ve been waiting to end all of this. Everyday I wake up, I go to school because it’s easier not to think there. I’m sitting at a table where no one wants me there. I’ve gave up with wanting to fit into a group. When I’m not there no one thinks about me. No one loves me enough to call them theirs. Theirs no place for me here. I started thinking about […]
33 yrs old, lost my baby, parent disowned me just becuz i decided to move out at 31, 3 failed engagements, and just when i thought i found the one that i could trust. i let him in and told him my story, he pushed me to therapy, but yet he said it didnt work, i gave up on it after 4 sessions. and now he just left me. he cant stand me being suicidal. hes so scared he rather not be around me. i should have stayed quite. im alone again
I was hospitalized twice last year for suicidal actions and gave up on the notion of taking my own life. Since then I graduated college and moved to a big city. The problem is that my degree has only been an expensive piece of paper hanging on my wall and I feel lost. My depression keeps me tired, so i drink to fall asleep. My anxiety keeps me on edge about finding a perfect job to build a life I don’t think i’d like so at the end of the day I can curl up with a woman that doesn’t exist.
Each day is a […]
to be honest… I wish I wasn’t sick anymore cause no one gets it. I wish I could have some one like the “sick” girls in my books the girls that are just like me they get rescued y cant I y cant I have some one like tate someone to love me like he loves violet… I have a boyfriend sure but its like he just doesn’t care he said it was “you and me together for always” but he doesn’t love me and I […]
I call her M&M. Because those are her initials.
She used to be one of my bestfriends.
Her dad went all manic and went crazy on her family and got sent to a mental hospital.
Then she got crazy.
It was like, She was a complete different person. She’s 13 right now and She has probably had sex with 30+ highschoolers at my school.
None of the highschoolers like her for her. and she knows that but she still lets them do whatever.
She got super suicidal before all this happened.
Then she tried to overdose.
and then she slit her wrists.
Then she went […]
truth can only be self evident
so truth can never be impartial
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Matchbox-Twenty-20-Busted-HQ-w-Lyrics-from-YouTube.mp3
when you keep this at the forfront of your mind at all times,
you can cope with being abandoned……….this is a possibility,
an obtainable thought process…….that i havent quite walked up to yet
this is sour, just a deep well of emotion
i dont like thinking about it
every time i come here it suprises me still
how much it has taken
how much it still takes
i dont know if it was the passive way in which she gave up on me,
or how easily she did it that bothers […]
A year ago, I dated this guy. He made me feel special and feel like I was the only girl in the world. But then 2 months later, I caught him with my best friend. He told me that it isn’t what it looks like. From then on, he called me and texted me everyday, but I didn’t respond. One day, he came over and begged my brother if he can talk to me. My brother said no and he left. I was listening. I thought that if he actually loved me, he would try harder. But he didn’t, he gave up. A week later, […]
I feel that my life was mostly pointless because I could not live to the fullest at all because everything costs money, and people have to like you so your life is easier. So most of my childhood it was extremely lonely I had no friends and I got bullied everyday I think that pretty much tells me I had no place in this world cause I didn’t matter to anymore infact people wanted me gone. they didn’t care when I got hurt on the playground, when I got punched, when I threw up in class, I was so alone. When I was in the […]
As some of you know, I tried most, if not all treatments out there… My psychiatrist abandoned me 6 months ago. We had a close relationship so it crushed me. She energized me and inspired me to do things I never had the courage to do myself. She got sick (but us better now) so she couldn’t manage me being suicidal. Even though she said we could reevaluate after 6 months, she won’t respond to my texts, emails or calls. She is really the only hope I had to get better and stay better. I left her a voicemail this morning saying that I will […]
Last year I had an abortion… It was unplaned and my dad had told me before that he’ll kill himself if I let him down… He was on his knees crying like a baby when he said that, and that was the image I kept in my mind trough the procedure. My bf ay the time didn’t push me to do it… But neither showed me another option. So I did it and tried to live normally after that. I justo couldn’t. I finished the relationship because looking at his face remind me every time what have I done. And I found someone who gain […]
been trying to die since I was three, I tried to hang myself by a rope on a swing set. my entire life has been depressing. I knew happiness for a short time but that person gave up on me and left. every time I’ve overdosed, someone always found me. now that I am stuck living alone, no one should find me right away, but I don’t have the access to those prescription pills anymore. I want to try asphyxiation or strangling but having trouble figuring out how to tie these knots. also don’t rope but have scarfs, belts, shoelaces, bed sheets clothes…help
I don’t know what love is anymore which also made me depressed partly because the only girl i would say i love since 4 years is in america (im in china). I had different things that made me emotionally crippled as i would say myself because i don’t know what love is anymore or better said i can’t really love anyone truly right now (same with hating someone). This also helped me to become sick of life and me trying to end it.. Ive tried it several ways one of them was an overdose of drugs..
If anyone could tell me what love is means or […]