I’m not sure why I’m still here. My attempts at suicide are failures and it’s starting to make me think about more effective attempts. But I want to stay. I want to see my future. I just want out of the present. I feel numb, tired, and weak. I go through the days avoiding people and just trying to find ways to make each day go by. I feel broke down inside. I’m  still in high school and living with my parents. I’m gay but don’t know how to tell them. I had a gay friend over once, my dad told me not to talk […]
I am 17… And I completely hate my self … I hate the fact that I am black , that that I am female that I am tall…. That my mind is the most perverted thing in the world…. But I am so loney… I am not looking for sex just some one who I dont have to talk to, some one who gets me completely… Who shares the same view point of the world… I have a best friend and others friends but I can’t get my self to actually care about them … If they died today I wouldn’t even care….I had this […]
So as it turns out one of my closest friends is gay. He came out about 4 days ago and we were all shocked because he has had more GF’s than me in the past. We didn’t really know what to say, we couldn’t really say much since he just text us this.
We all met up the other night and it was the first real test to see if things were going to be different just because he was gay.  I like to think we are an open minded bunch, and I also liked to think that I am not prejudiced against anyone for any reason. But you never really know if your comfortable […]
They were siting on my friend audry and me and im the one in the black jacked with stripes shes the one crying xD
I went out of my house for a change, to hang out with some of my old friends. I rarely do this now since i tend to lock myself in my room, when im not inclined to go to school.
I hung out with 15 of my friends and we watched “end of the world movies” since that was the theme of the party. I was cuddling with my gay friend Dustin, […]
Here I am. I’m told I’m great. Good looking. Smart. Kind. Talented. I do many things. Have loving parents. Have loving friends. Have people who care. Even with all of these things, I’m stuck. It’s like an endless circle. I’m sad and angry, then numb. I feel numb so much of the time…I…I’m not even sure what I feel anymore. I mistook my content with my gay friend’s compliments to me, as a love for him. I’m a straight male. I know this because I’ve tried to have relationships with other guys. It was never right…it never felt right. I never kissed a guy, because […]