Im tired of living. You can work so hard for something and still end up with nothing. I keep chasing dreams that i think will make me happy but then realize that there is no such thing as happiness. I think to myself how i want kids someday and my time is running out but why would i want to bring a kid into this shitty world? Why would i want to hand over my mental issues to another human being through my genes just so they can suffer? Am i really seeing this miserable place for what it is and just giving up on […]
Tag:
Genes
There’s no such thing like a purpose or a meaning in life, in fact the whole universe exists without a special reason or purpose. People invented the notion of “purpose in life” so they could cope better with other people’s mistakes, selfishness, cruelty, or because they envy other people’s realisations and thereby they feel less worthy to society and need something to make them go on. It’s a form of self defense, I think. So why is it bad to want to stop carrying traumatic,bad memories or incurable diseases with you? Because other people would suffer from losing you?
We are conditioned to think we have […]
There are days when I feel like if I can push myself a little harder everything will get better, If I can just see things differently, maybe if I didn’t analyse everything to pieces or if I were better, smarter, kinder..? , maybe if I can just think and do things the way they do… It will all be better..
And there are days when I just wanna give up… Maybe I’m built to be dissatisfied. From all the possible combination of genes, mine were not assembled to last, or to be passed down.
My sequences of A, G, C, T, is a self destructive […]
I am 37 with ADHD I Â I am over qualified but uncpder experienced for jobs _a fruitcake with no friends only a married man for company and I want to die every day of my shit life. Too intelligent to be happy with little as my sister a corporate lawyer earning millions and is pretty with husband and 2.4 kids I’m the reject genes and fail at everything – how can you kill yourself when you’ve Tories several times previously and jeep waking up the next day? Obviously have a guardian angel with a fucking sick sense of humour
I am a very cowardly person. Â I am a waste of space, oxygen, food and my parents’ money. I have not and never will contribute anything good to society nor nature, and therefore I believe it preferable for both me and the world that I leave. I would also like to be an organ donor. I just hope my organs would be good enough for anyone due to my unhealthy lifestyle. Most of the time I agree with myself that suicide is the best thing to do. But I can’t, for the following reasons:
Lack of courage. I am always afraid and worried of everything, and […]
I have a normal life. A mother and family who loves me. And I am so utterly sad. My childhood was a mess of beating and abuse from my schoolteachers. My little brother and best friend died. I crave sympathy and the shock on people’s faces. I do nothing but sit around and feel sorry for myself. I am pathetic, I am a fool, a selfish, ungrateful, self centered loser who cannot commit to anything. I am 15 and I want to die already. My father is whining pile of sh*t that I hate. He is evil and I see him every day. I cut […]
Since I was young my parents wanted me on medicine along with therapy. Since I didn’t have a choice I took them. as prescribed until I came down with the worse side affects. Zoloft the robotic smiles, Prozac this motor tics, Amitriptiline the chest rock and zombie mind.
My father. I’ve prayed he should die since whatever this is has taken over him. He’s teasing is worse and he thinks it’s ok. My mom is super submissive so she tags along. I still don’t trust her. He tease about me not moving fast enough yesterday in 100 degree heat and 79% humidty as I made pigs […]
If u have a incurable disease that can be past though your genes it would be cruel to have children and pass it on. Yet my mum has had depression all her life and still had me and passed it on to me. Then I did the same like her and 2 of my 3 children have depression. I have great regret bringing them in the world and inflicting pain on them. It is selfish to have children to satisfy your own selfish needs. I wanted to be a mother and I didn’t once think about them. If I could turn back time I wouldn’t […]
For some reason I feel I have to constantly punish myself for every mistake I make but am so unrelentingly harsh on myself everyone notices it, and sometimes ask why? I’ve always felt like I’m a total waste of space and often look at people around my age, 39, or younger who are successful and feel really threatened… and I think, what’s wrong with me? I mean I’m not exactly uneducated, unintelligent or untalented yet I feel like I’m such an utter loser and total failure in life I wanna hide forever. That I’m a fucked up, no hoping basket case! I used to have a […]