There was a time years ago when I was so depressed, I cried myself to sleep every night but everyday, I smiled. I was a clown who couldn’t wash off her make-up. I didnt really know myself, a girl I was “in love” with broke my heart, lied to me and led me on. And yes, it sent me further into depression. I did some drugs, pills. I drank some, vodka. But really, what depressed me the most is everyone thought I was fine and looking back now, I know thats what really bothered me. My family thought I was fine, hell, everyone thought I was fine. […]
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Girl In The World
I was supposed to kill myself almost 3 years ago on my 24th birthday. I wish I had.
I can’t bear the knowledge that my ex is moving on with her life and happy and doing well while I am so tortured over what transpired. Losing her love is horrible, but losing her as my best friend–that’s what just makes me wish I was dead. I’ve been optimistic about life, and doing OK sometimes and looking forward to the long vacation which I just got back from. But now I’m back and all alone and feel like I’m at square one. There are times when I’m […]
I’m sure i’m not the only one here who puts on a fake smile, laughs, talks, and pretends to be a perfectly happy person. Everyone at school, besides my best friend, believes the act. I started cutting again 2 days ago. The wounds weren’t deep at all. If i hadn’t done as many as i did, they could pass for cat scratches. Since it’s winter, wearing long sleeves all the time isn’t suspicious. I prefer to anyways, though, because i have 4 years worth of scars on my arms (i didn’t used to have to worry because i had quit for almost a year so […]
Tomorrow is so close, yet it seems to take an eternity to arrive. Tomorrow is the day I’ve decided to kill myself. I feel at a general ease with that knowledge, and my brain tells me I should be horrified with the looming prospect of my demise. Screw that, I done being afraid, I’ve had near constant head and stomach aches all week, but now they’re gone. I’m not going to take my meds tomorrow because I didn’t today, no more point anymore. I suspect I will be more anxious and sick tomorrow night, but oh well. I’ll get home, masturbate one last time, then […]
i have been feeling pretty good after me and my boyfriend got back together he made me feel so happy again and the happiest girl in the world, me and him was all that mattered to me. I got him back and only realized after he moved away this week that i was so dependent on him too make me happy, he is the only reason i want to get out of bed some days! he said he would come back after two months but lets not bull shit our self he is most likely going to stay with his parents alot longer then two […]
i’ve never posted here before. i’ve read a lot of posts, and wanted to respond to many… but i never could find the right words, because i would feel hypocritical telling someone “it will be okay”, when in fact it very well may not be. i know that’s not the point, but still.
i had everything i every truly wanted. i was married to the most beautiful girl in the world, who also was my very best friend. i have been head over heels in love with her since we first met in 2001. i was 19 then, she was 16. we both made some mistakes, […]
I shouldn’t complain about my life.It’s not like I wasn’t hugged as a child or anything. I should be strong like my dad and not complain about anything.I wish I could just stand there and take what life throws at me, but I can’t.And that is why i’m worthless.I know i’m not the first girl to be bullied at school ,to have to experiance death of a friend, Not the first teenager who feels like she is the stupid kid or the first girl in the world to get moslested or the first kid to get pushed around the hospitals phyicatric wards’ system when I […]
When I was born I had the perfect family. Typical happily married young aspiring husband (my dad) and loving devoted child rearing wife (mom). Â Up until around age 3 everything was alright. Â Then even as a young kid, I noticed that my Dad yelled at my mom a lot. I didn’t understand why my mom would cry every day when my dad left for work. She started drinking a lot. She never neglected or mistreated me in any way, but she just became even more withdrawn. By The time i was 5, My family had already moved 3 times. My mother had endured giving birth […]
Do you know what its like to look in the mirror and hate what you see? Do you know what its like to live your whole life the laughing stock of society? Do you know what its like to go through life hating yourself, but knowing that you can’t do anything to change yourself? Have you ever been about to take your own life, all because of the way you look? Do you have that red scar on your left arm because you know that you’ll end up cold and alone? Do you know what its like to plan your own death, just because you’re […]
I sit next to the prettiest girl in the world..
More than a hundred people say “hi” to me daily..
I get treated with more respect in a couple minutes then i have my whole life..
I fall in love with everyone more and more..
I think about suicide..