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Live and learn, right?

by Bri
written by Bri

I’m really bad at taking emotional pain, not that people think about that when they give me a reason to be emotionally hurt. It’s really funny honestly, how all of it plays out. I had let a friend of mine close, like really close… We have only really been together a couple weeks, but I’ve had the crush on him and he on me for the LONGEST time… So, ask me, what did I receive somewhere between Psychology 1101 and Accounting 1100 tonight? The “I think we rushed it, we should just be friends” message!

It shouldn’t hurt this bad, but fuck y’know? He promised me, […]

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Scared

by outinthedark
written by outinthedark

So this last month has been ok. I’ve been doing decently well. I haven’t cut, though I’ve had the urge a few times. I lost myself in a book series so that helped get out of my own head for a while. And right now I’m dealing with normal problems like trying to get a guy to ask me out and not failing my classes. But the thoughts never go away, I doubt they ever will. The thoughts that help me spiral down. The ones that make me hate myself and want to kill myself. I still have my ultimatum for the end of the […]

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snake venom

by Raven
written by Raven

there’s a hammer pounding on the back of her skull
spiders crawling underneath her skin
She roams this God Forsaken land
covered in scars not deep enough to fatally wound
hands curled up into fists holding her head
Trying to erase herself
The person that she loves cant even comprehend the complexity of her pain
disregarded, like always until its to late
tear stained pillows, snot nose, blood shot eyes
its like the snake of despair bit her
marking her with its venom
For everywhere she goes she snuffs out some kind of light, […]

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a first

by featherling
written by featherling

to keep it brief, it’s been rough lately, and busy to the point where I cry from exhaustion when I’m not crying out of fear or desolation. Monday was the first time I’ve talked to my school counsellor, and I think I’ve found a safe place to absorb a little comfort. Confidentiality only goes so far, and if I tell him I’m suicidal he may be obliged to call my parents, but if I don’t tell him I doubt he could help me.

I sincerely hope you’re all doing okay.

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Why am I trying?

by The White Rabbit
written by The White Rabbit

Well after calling and waiting for a call back and calling and waiting for a call back and so on and so forth since fucking December, I tried calling the admissions office again today and still nobody picked up. Albeit I called around lunch but when else am I supposed to call? I rarely have any fucking time. Of course I tell my father about this and all he has to say is “I don’t think they want to talk to you anymore. You kinda let that ship sail.” when they haven’t TALKED to me ONCE since I got the application, and I haven’t heard […]

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I like drawing.

by iwant2_die
written by iwant2_die

I know a girl

She draws on

her skin

with blades instead

of pens

 

It all began when

she was eight.

She wondered why?

Why would he look at her like that?

Why would she let him?

 

She often thought:

“She loves me”

But deep down

She knew

It was

A lie

 

She’s never loved her

And never will

 

The only one that

Truly loves her

Is Mr. Sharp.

He makes her happy.

He helps her forget about THEM.

 

When her skin

Rips open

And her demons

Come out…

Oh there’s no better

Feeling than that.

 

But the feeling goes away!

“NO! come back!” she yells.

But not even

Pain wants her.

And that hurts like hell.

 

People always believe

The “I’ll kill you” stare

And the “go away “routine.

 

Because nobody

really cares to

see what’s

left inside

 

To look into her eyes

And see her […]

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Mad World: Trix Version

by Zetsumei
written by Zetsumei

I don’t know anything about you but I do think it will be a shame if you leave this world. Intelligent people gaze at the moon getting lost in the night. On the other hand, foolish people stare at the sun blinding themselves in the light. The sun starers think they are powerful but their blindness deludes them. As the saying goes, “knowledge is power.” One group can only see nothing but the other group can see everything. Do you know which group you are, Trix? From what I gathered, it’s the group that can see everything, However, you wish you were a part of […]

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Revelations

by TheRoadSoFar
written by TheRoadSoFar

It’s true that for some people having a dream is wonderful. Pursuing that dream is the “vital support” that gives them the will to continue on, that gives them the strength to keep getting better and better, and with each day that goes on, they get closer to fulfilling it.

But what if you’re just not meant to fulfill that dream?… What if for whatever reason you simply don’t have the motivation to go on? What if something out of nowhere just holds you from fulfilling it?

Call it whatever you want to call it. Luck. Fate. I don’t believe in any of those things, […]

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Can I?

by iwant2_die
written by iwant2_die

Is it so bad that i want to ended all. I mean who will even miss me? Not my family i know that for sure. but then why is it that every time i try it it feels like if i was doing something bad? I wish i had the courage of doing it. If i ever have the courage i hope the pain goes away immediately. I talked to my mom the other day and like always she just said it was my fault. I don’t know why i even picked up. Its always the same story with her. I shouldn’t allow hope, its […]

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this is it

by rubdoo50
written by rubdoo50

Spent $250 today on supplies for my exit.
Have booked in a days leave from work in two days time so I have the whole night and day by myself to pull this off.
I have tried before & failed. It was painful and i dont want to go through that again.
The method Ive chosen this time should be painless if all goes to plan.
Thoughts of my family keep trying to push their way into my brain, but I keep pushing them out . I know they will be OK & I know I simply can’t go on being me.
I’m a […]

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Wasted

by just_lonely
written by just_lonely

 

The empty bottles have been scattered over the bedroom floor. The fridge, filled with sealed bottles that are ready to be drunk.  The temptation of just grabbing a bottle after one bottle that has been emptied is too strong. He throws the emptied bottle across the room because he’s forgotten where the trash goes. He can only find the winding way to the liquor. He’s forgotten about the world. He’s been too lost in his own world to deal with the real world. His pain and desires just don’t match up anymore.  Nothing is enough. His cravings and his sorrows deepens him with every step […]

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*coughing* can’t sleep again

by disgusting
written by disgusting

I’m glad to be indoors for now and have food, but the cigarette smoke all ends up filling up in my room somehow and never goes away. And I can’t fall asleep when that’s all I’m breathing is cigarettes. I’ve even got my window open and the smell isn’t dissipating at all. X-(

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The Other Side

by Cordless
written by Cordless

despair41

A few decades ago, when I was still depressed but had more energy than I do now, before my health declined to the point where I became disabled…

I had a six-month internship in a mental hospital, working to become a music therapist.

I got to see all types of patients.  Schizophrenic, Depression, Bipolar, Alzheimer’s, Psychotic… everything.

I can’t go into details because of confidentiality, but I remember one moment more than anything else.

There was one day when a new patient was admitted.  He was severely […]

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And that’s how the life goes on…

by Still wandering
written by Still wandering

So you think that, that’s it. I can’t handle anymore. My life is fucked up. I don’t want to live anymore. I want to die right now. And then you will try to make an attempt,  in which you will obviously fail (99.99 % times) and some of you will even fail into making an attempt. You are in pain now but still alive. Now you will try to recover.

But then again something bad (this bad could be anything,  some event in real life or just your real imaginary pain in your beautiful mind) will happen. And you will think that’s it. It’s enough. I […]

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This may be it…

by Alexther
written by Alexther

Thanks to everyone here for listening to me opening up and encouraging me throughout my stay at S.P.! You have helped make my time in this world less miserable. Taking one last look through your kind comments on my posts so far… Why can’t everyone be like you guys?

Anyway… As the title says… This may be ”it”…

Wrote the letter, got the ”equipment” ready and all that other shit, heheh… Now I’m just waiting to get the motivation to do it, which will most likely come tomorrow when I’ll yet again be reminded how big of a failure I am. Whelp… Here goes nothing…

By the way, […]

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Confused

by evildandelions
written by evildandelions

I got my dog back.

At least I think so.  My ex just dropped her off at my parents’ house, barely saying anything to my mom.  I assume this means she’s my dog again, because coming back to get her as if I were just babysitting- that would be so cruel and I don’t believe my ex could ever be cruel.

I’m thrilled to have her back, but confused to how I got her.  It shouldn’t matter- I can’t get my ex to want to be with me again, so it shouldn’t matter what she thinks of me, right?  Except maybe in terms of friendship, but that’s at […]

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Ugh.

by kmh2193
written by kmh2193

I am literally at my wits end. I can’t do it anymore. Why even live if you can’t even live your life? Literally stuck and not having a say. My dad has Alzheimer’s and he has to have care 24/7 and since I just got done with my classes and moved home (until I do my internship) I have to stay with him while my mom goes to work. She’s always like well you can watch him until I come home and then you can go to work. I would be fine with that but since I have been watching him for the past 4 […]

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Thank you, and goodbye.

by kbking6
written by kbking6

I’m twisting and turning in bed, hardly any sleep. Just thoughts of her constantly flowing in and out of my head, what we could of been, what I should of done – what i shouldn’t of done. I don’t know if anyone here has ever been through this … But I basically replace, she led me into believing we still had a chance, and god I was trying my best, but she planned it so perfectly just to hurt me. After 3 years and a half.. Those memories of us just so meaningless to her , that she can just go and sleep […]

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