Well I’ve been on this site a couple of times now and I have been wanting to join for a while.
I have noticed how so many people are hurting and I honestly can empathize with some.
I hope I can share my story with you guys someday. (I’m not sure I’m ready right now)
Anyways, I really wish you guys the best of luck with whatever your going through <3
Im going to bed now. (1am)
Hoping for a nightmare or weird dream, something to make me feel different and think something new or something like that.
All I can think right now is sadness and despair. Very unhealthy I would imagine. But when have I been healthy? No I want to wake up in a sweat to some crazy freak dream about some crazy thing and have a realization and or epiphany. I wish.
Goodnight. Sweet dreams, at least not me.
good night my SP family il leaving my email here if anyone what’s to chat advice or support don’t hesitate we all struggling here some more then others supports a good think and I love all u guys to Xxx stay strong to morrow the battle continues D
I’m thankful I have a place to sleep. It may not be a bed but it’s better than on mud and grass. I may not want to be here. But it’s better I guess. Even if this place is horrible for my sanity and mental stability. I’m just waiting for the PTSD to kick in. If he comes near me I’ll just rip his throat open. I’m glad he is gone during the night hours and asleep during the day. I don’t have to see him. But that doesn’t change the past. That doesn’t change what it did to me and continues to do. I’m just a human, and I have a natural survival instinct. This is the only place I can go right now. I convinced my mother to let me stay after all. I’d rather be somewhere else.
Some of you may be waking up .. Some may be sleeping. I wish you all a good day , or a good sleep. 🙂 hope you are are doing well
Are there any monsters?
In the closet?
Under my bed?
In my head?
They want me dead.
Am I bad?
Of course not.
Then why am I sad?
I don’t have an answer hon.
Well I’m all done.
Done with what?
The battle is over, the monsters won.
What do you mean?
They’ve already killed who I was.
To those who got a harsh day tday, i jus ran out of energy tday so i did nth, no hurting myslf, humans need sm rest i guess, suiciding got bored..?
i hope all of u are still fine frm a day like that, momentarily, of course i still do wish nth bad happen later
(well, jus enjoy one or only one good night for the coming suffocating day..)
I think tonight should be the night. If not tonight then tomorrow night. Just no more than 48 hours. I have nothing more to give.
I’ve always pictured myself engaging in adventurous, amazing, fun activities before I go. Instead I’m content with watching old movies and listening to old music. (I wish Netflix would work though) The only things that are weighing heavily on my heart at this time are 1. How sorry I feel for my dog. Nobody loves him as much as me so he won’t get as much attention, and also he won’t know why I’m gone. 2. Tremendous guilt. 3. How things could have been different.
Anytime that I think about the events that are soon to take place a constant memory of a popular childhood book, “goodnight moon”, seeps through. Specifically the lines: “Goodnight room, goodnight moon”. I’m saying goodnight.
Although I’m still close to it, I left to her being a *****, came back to the same thing… so merh.
I’ma head to bed soon.
Wow it’s been awhile since I last read through all these stories.
All I have to say to all you beautiful human beings that are feeling low and depressed, or thinking of the most craziest shit to do? Is SMILEEEEEEE (: From one ear to another, stretch that smile of yours. Who knows, you might just make someones day with that beautiful smile.
Be happy, or well you could TRY and be happy. If it doesn’t work? Smoke a blunt. haha kidding (: Have a dance in your room, put those earphones on maximum volume and dance like its the end of the world. I promise you, no one will notice 😀 have a laugh or two, if you can? haha watch a video on cats being weird. haha now I just sound weird saying that!
ANYWAYS, SMILE SMILE SMILE (:
haha, have a beautiful day, afternoon, night wherever you are in the world!
Goodnight from me.
Well..I am 27 years old. I feel cold inside, like I have no emotions or tears left. My heart feels like it has a large hole in it. I seriously have no friends or no one to talk to. All I ever do is work & stay home. I live in a country side of Alabama & nothing makes me happy anymore. I have thought about killing myself a few times but I know if I do then I will go straight to hell. But on the other hand, It feels like this life on earth is hell. I play guitar & drums for almost all of my life, and I do not even find joy in that anymore. I am not ugly, I am very clean cut type of guy but it just seems my life is empty. I feel I have no purpose on this life. I do wished I was dead. I feel I would be better off dead. I really enjoy helping other people & having reading some of these posts by other people really breaks my heart. But I do know how you all feel. I work two jobs, One as a Armed Security Officer & I am a part time Police Officer. Sounds great right? Wrong! I am so miserable in my life…if there is a God, then I really wished he would come back soon. I just wished I could find joy, happiness, something that will full fill my emptyness. A couple of years back, I would just sit in my room and cry and cry and cry for hours. And now, I barely can cry anymore..Maybe I ran out of tears? No one in my family likes me, and I do not even believe anyone likes me. I just really wished I would have never been born. I wished I was dead and be better off dead.
I found this site on accident..so maybe getting my feelings out to someone that may actually care, may help…who knows. Anyway..goodnight all
You were so broken,
Words never spoken:
They haunted you in your sleep
You didn’t speak,
Maybe you could cry the pain away.
Your life was good
He treated you well,
You would always smile,
He could never tell
That you were hurting,
Your soul burning.
You tucked me in,
You kissed my cheek
You sang a lullaby and watched me sleep
He kissed you goodnight,
With a sleepy “I love you”
“See you in the morning”
There were no warnings
When I woke up, I saw daddy cry,
“Everything’s fine,” He choked on his lies
And then I saw you, and lost all hope
Around your neck was a fastened rope
From that day on, it was all broken.
So..like..what the actual fuck?
I’m not one of the prettiest people on the planet but, seriously, so many people are “in love” with me, I can’t seem to get a grip on it. There’s this boy that I’ve been talking to that says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and, honestly, I’m okay with that because I feel the same way. The thing is: he started out nicely and we got to know each other like friends first, then brother and sister, and now, he wants to go out with me. Woo.
Then, on the other hand, there’s a boy I knew for 2 years at my school who, I regret admitting this, but I used to have a crush on him too. He messages me on Facebook asking if I watch pornography and if I know any good pornographic sites. Seriously, what the fuck?
I don’t mind being asked personal questions but when you ask if I masturbate, or have ever made my self…forget it…then, you have the fucking guts to tell me you LOVE me?! Nope. No. Go away. I DON’T like you.
Goodness…..what the hell?! I thought you were my friend and, honestly, asking me those questions over and over, again and again, made me feel like such a fucking lowlife. Seriously. Back off. t(-.-t)
The nerve of some people, I swear. Goodnight.
Tired of this life, and all that is. One simple thing, a single wish. Dreamt of blood, a thousand screams. Every night, these are my dreams. One simple thing, my only wish. Knife in hand, I cannot miss. But I shan’t, commit this sin. She’ll hold me back, again and again. The one and only…. Sorry.. Hope this didn’t bore or waste any your time of you happened to read this. Goodnight. I love you all.
Today felt like a rollercoaster for me. my day started pretty good, yeah I had some troubles with waking up and getting out of bed, but that’s quite normal for me. I was at time for my therapy. I have 5 days a week therapy from 9 am till 3 pm. Well, also that started prettu good, until the section visual arts. We had to draw the vulnerable side of ourselfs. I became very emotional of my drawing (I was drawing the word ‘trust’ with the first t as a cross) and when we were done, we had to say what you’ve had drawn and our therapist was going to ask some questions. Because the word ‘trust’ is for me so meaningful and literal my vulnerable side, I got really emotional and I had to cry. After that therapy I had to cry another time while we had lunch. My mood went down and I couldn’t think clearly anymore. Now I’m still thinking about all of it, especially the ‘trust’ part. I’m curious if I’m able to sleep (it’s 11 pm now here), we’ll see. Goodnight everybody
It really surprises me how my mood can go from being OK (I wasn’t entirely happy) to Â me feeling like utter scum. I started talking more in lunch and fifth period and I usually don’t talk so whenever I do I feel like people just look at me like “why do you even open?” because of the looks they give me, but that doesn’t bother me that much compared to talking to the people you like because it feels like “am I annoying to you?” Â I don’t know maybe school’s just another trigger for me but I feel like “look at all these people probably going somewhere in life and probably more interesting than I am too” ad it’s not just that but my mother too if she weren’t my mother I probably wouldn’t love her Â because she doesn’t understand how I feel she’ll just make me feel less than and add to my problems I guess without meaning to, she’ll tell me how much of a loner I am , how I don’t do anything , how I’m faking being depressed. But I can’t complain I’ve done a lot in trying to help myself I joined this site and I didn’t go through my plan of suicide that I had back in October and I talked to more people and joined a support group online so I wouldn’t feel so lonely and took an even bigger step by going to my school social worker to get help but I still feel empty and lonely I don’t have anything figured out. Goodnight I have Â a headache and I feel sick it’s 12:16 AM and I need to finish my Â homework so I can go to bed
Hush a bye baby, Now close your eyes
And dream of broken butterflies
That tore their wings upon a thorn
You know the pain that they’ve endured
So soft, so sweet
Cut your wrists and bleed on the sheets
Slashing and thrashing
While black tears flow
Crimson stains now mark your pillow
Smiling cutter no more, no less
As you beg for the kiss of death
Dreaming slicer all tucked in bed
It will be long past morning
Before they realise your dead
Rock a bye baby, and say goodbye
Let’s fly away with the butterflies
Just one more slash
Down comes baby
Into hell with a crash