Today is Friday. Mom’s night out for my granddaughters’ Mom – my daughter-in-law. At least that was true a couple of years ago. Now, Friday is the day that my wife of 36+ years gets to see my granddaughters while she is at work, but i am not allowed to see or talk to my granddaughters.
I am almost 60 years old and spent most of my life trying to keep up with the bills, but decided after being laid off after almost 22 years with the same company that I would rather spend more time with my son and his family than to try […]
Tag:
Grandchildren
Dear Reader,
My Grandpa committed suicide when he was 75 years old. He took his life in 2005, and my Dad found him. My Father. found. him! I, a 15 year old, watched as my Dad crumbled into a million pieces, literally broke down. A 6’3″ italian goomba fell to his knees in pain over the loss of his own father. My grandma was frozen in shock, numb to the fact her husband (going on 50 years) was no longer coming home after work, or bringing her white daisy’s on Sundays, or laughing to get her to smile. He was gone. Forever.
My grandpa had three beautiful […]
I have decided to end it all. Almost a year and a half ago my youngest son cut me out of his life because his girlfriend didnt like the choices I made about my business. They wont talk to me nor will they allow me to see my grandchildren. They have always been close to me til now. They have lived next door to us for over 5 years until this conflict. My grandson is only 7 so untill the estrangement he always was next door. I now have a grand daughter that I dont even know or would even recongnize if I did see […]
I cant bring myself to tell anyone. The one person i love enough to tell doesnt listen. Maybe he listens but doesnt want to know. I hate myself and the life i have. But its not a bad life which makes it so much worse. I have tried to kill myself by cutting when i was a preteen but was so chicken shit i only gave a little scratch. Then as i got older i turned to pills for the pain. Overdosing did nothing but send me off to fitfull bouts of bad dreams only to wake up with a pounding headache. As a side […]
Hi… I really need to get something off my chest, so I’m posting it here and I hope no one will mind. This is going to be kind of a long ramble. So, I’m 21 years old. I have no friends, and I have never had friends. My mother is overbearing, my father a drunk. I’m awkward around people, which is probably because I’ve only spoken to a few people in my entire life. (I’m on the extreme end of the social anxiety spectrum and I’ve always found it difficult to talk to people I don’t know.) People give me strange looks whenever I walk […]
I have so many reasons to live my children who love me and the grandchildren they have and are giving me, a place to live and a job so why do i suffer from suicidal thoughts all the time .. I may have 7 children but does that mean i have been a good mother? and would they really miss me when i am gone? my kids are from 3 different fathers so what does that say about me as a person? why do i find it so hard to find someone i want to be with and be truly happy with? why does the […]
First let me say I practice remaining silent regarding my problem with suicide.
I have a psychiatrist and a psychologist. Both of them know why I attempted
suicide last year. The thing that I hate is I still feel suicidal. It doesn’t go
away. My suicide attempt last year was an overdose of Flurazapam and Tylenol. I
woke up two days later with a tube in my throat. The ICU report says I was in
critical condition. I’m 57 tears old. I have 5 children and 7 grandchildren. I’m
recently divorced. My credit is ruined and I’m hopelessly in debt. I’m a
teacher. I make […]
It’s plain and simple, I am hurt. I don’t know whether to
call it depressed, bipolar or maybe even suicidal. I don’t fit fully into one
of those categories. After all I see my emotions as a vase; One that’s cracked and
overfilled, but painted over and glued to hide the unwanted things. Every time
something emotional happens it feels like someone took my vase and slammed it
down on a table, causing the fragile makeover to shatter, letting a cascade of
water to spill through. Of course then I have to scurry and pick up all the pieces
and carefully repaint every little detail […]
I dont know where to start.  I’ve been trying to deal with my depression for a long time now and no matter what i just cant be happy.  There are a lot of things that have happened to me and my family in the last few years that contribute to my depression.  Suicide is always something that crosses my mind everyday.  And i don’t know if i want to do it or not.
I guess i could start talking about my family and how they contribute to my demise. Â First off theres my brother (i wont use his real name so he will be ‘mike’ for this” mike […]
“I sit here contemplating my life, I wonder what it has become. I raised four beautiful children on my own who in turn have given me two beautiful grandchildren.” Now why would someone who has that want to commit suicide?
Lets take a deeper look into the life of this young woman who seems to have it all: She’s a single mother who’s children have grown and started their own live’s in other cities, even in other states. She hears from them maybe once a week if not longer unless they need something. They know she’ll always be there. A woman who finds herself alone […]
if I could Live for a million days
I’d count up all the ways I could have loved a girl
who’d passed away at day twenty-eight thousand and ten.
with ninety-one generations of grandchildren
I’d remember ninety-one times
of simpler times when
fifteen minutes would pass with the eternity of an hour
when memories were new
and I had nothing
to reflect about.
I’m 58 years old, working in Iraq so my wife could spend time with her sister and our nephew who died of brain cancer 1-Nov-11. I came here for her, for my family and stayed though I hated being away from my home and family, I stayed because they were proud of me.
Up until coming here in May-2011, the longest I’ve been separated from my wife was three weeks while she visited our son in Japan. She has wanted to go to Japan for as long as I’ve known her and when our granddaughter was born there, my son was in […]