angry again. why exactly i can’t really say. angry with myself, the world, everyone and everything. blah blah. that is what depression is -right? anger turned inward. self loathing. mind games where you set yourself up to fail. i will never win because i don’t believe i deserve to. i can talk a good game in therapy but that inner cynic is there to remind me of my unworthiness, worthlessness. the cynic is working hard to convince me that life isn’t all that it is cracked up to be. that i have every reason and right to tell everyone fuck you and off myself. the […]
Tag:
Grandmothers
I have grown closer to my mom but she broke that bond yesterday when you yelled at me about my grades. I have a step-dad and I hate him, I know it is a strong word but he has made this family worse than it already is. My brother always puts me down and he always gets the highest preaise cause he is smarter and he get good grades, he is in 4th grade. This family means nothing to me anymore and the only person I really love is my grandma cause she loves me and she cares about me and she doesnt bring me […]
Of all the people on my dad’s side of the family I missed talking to the the most, it was my older cousin Carson.
Carson and I used to be close as kids, when my father was part of my life. We are only two years apart and to him and I it’s always felt like nothing. He’s the closest thing I ever had to a brother, more so then my own brother even. That’s why when he decided to come down to my father’s house I didn’t think much about it, all I could wonder about was what he was going to be like now […]