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Happy Face

Well yeah.

by sazzabrah
written by sazzabrah

Hey, how are you?
I know I have probably stuffed everything up between us but I didn’t know who else to talk to. No one understands me. I feel like letting you go was probably a bad idea but I know it was for the best. I’m gunna be honest here I just don’t think you were as into it as I was, and thats okay. But I really hope we can be friends.

I have no one to talk to. And today has been really bad. I stayed home from school and I was just thinking and thinking about Sam about you about everything […]

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I am loved and I have done nothing good in life to deserve it

by mike.persson
written by mike.persson

I am new to this site but clearly, spending just a few minutes reviewing posts and the fact that I even landed on this site makes it clear that I have a lot in common with most of the audience here.

My challenge is that most of the posts are about being blamed our being bullied or about others not perceiving you as being good enough etc….. which I cannot identify with. The reason I hate myself and see no reason for being around is that I hate my depressions and my sadness - people looking at my life from the outside would envy the life I have, would envy […]

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The Worst Mistake

by heatherguess
written by heatherguess

I made the worst mistake of my life by trying to end it.  But the craziest thing happened.  It became the biggest blessing as well.  I grew up hearing things like, “you’re ugly,” “worthless!” “a mistake” “why didn’t you get an A?”  This over time by family, peers, and our culture in general just eroded my self-confidence and by the age of 23 I was in full blown anger and depression.  I was so tired of being rejected, judged, teased, bullied, etc that I couldn’t see any other solution but taking my life and so I tried.  Well, God decided he had another plan and […]

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It is possible

by beentotheotherside
written by beentotheotherside

I wish I would have found a site like this 6 years ago.  My life once so full of promise, senior in high school, on the dean’s list with a life of grander ahead.  Started down a bad path.  I think I’ve always been bipolar.  The highs are never better, and the lows can’t get any lower.  Started experimenting with drugs.  Found my drug of choice in pain meds.  I was good at hiding the pain on the inside with a happy face on the outside as long as I was numb enough to not care any longer.  The addiction got worse. Drinking and driving after […]

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Venlafaxine then Bupropion then Lamotrigine

by Dead Right
written by Dead Right

The drugs that I have been on for the past year are Effexor, Wellbutrin and Lamictal. The doctor told me they were antidepressants however I was always depressed. The only problem was that I never felt fully cured or happy. During the day or when I was around anyone I would always put on a happy face and joke with everyone so no one could see my pain, depression and loneliness. Everyone thought I was  a happy-go-lucky guy. At times I almost convinced myself. What really made me realize that the Effexor and Wellbutrin were working to some extent was if I forgot to take […]

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Consuming me

by marchingkitty
written by marchingkitty

These thoughts of suicide are consuming me. So much in fact that last night i dreamt that i had ODed (but didnt die) and i went to a hospital and my friend was there and she asked “Why would you do this?” or something along the lines of that and i replied “School.” (because the pressures of school are whats making me depressed and suicidal) The scary part is that i didnt regret it one bit. I woke up feeling happy because of what i had done in the dream, then i was disappointed when i realized that it was only a dream.  I constantly […]

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THIS HAS TO END

by IDKWTD
written by IDKWTD

I have a hard time talking about this stuff but i just dont know anymore about anything one second I’m happy and ok and most of the time i just dont know what to think its weird, i dont know what to think anymore I go to the gym to help my confidence and it seems the harder i go the harder i am on my self , I feel i made the wrong decisions in life im not getting anywhere with life i feel like im at a stand still, i hate every choice i have made noone knows i feel This way and […]

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I’m saying goodbye

by determined_rebel
written by determined_rebel

I can’t do this anymore. I feel so….out of place and so fuckin depressed. Everything is going down hill for me yet again and I can’t handle it. I can’t be strong and I can’t pretend anymore. I think tonight might be my last night. I’m ready to go. I’m ready to disappear. No one will hear from me for a while I hope. I can’t handle the pain I’m in and uphold a happy face anymore. It hurts too much. And I can’t let them lock me up. This might just be goodbye.

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behind the mask is the worst part

by plagued4
written by plagued4

Once when I was little I was happy and carefree I used to run around laughing
Until it was time for tea I used to play games And smile all the time I used to feel on top of the world I used to feel fine It’s amazing how things change When people let you down And how that once happy face Turns into a solemn frown
You search and search For someone who cares Anyone who understands Anyone who dares Loneliness, it hurts It kills you deep inside It makes you feel empty It stops you in your stride You cry yourself to sleep Hugging your pillow tight Wishing for someone To hold you through the night Once when I was little I was happy and carefree Now […]

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I will not survive

by just.me.19
written by just.me.19

I’m so sick. Everyone wants me dead. Why do I keep trying to find someone to hold on to? Noone will ever care about me. I can’t keep the happy face anymore, it’s just too much. Everytime that I show someone the agony inside they’re like “Run for the hills”. I will always be alone. Noone could ever love a stupid loser like me. I thought that I could help if I would talk to people around here. But how could a fuck up like me ever help anyone when I can’t even help myself? Everyone is going to be better without me. Nobody will […]

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No one understands

by Taylor
written by Taylor

Depression slowly crept up on me 2.5 years ago.  I had a feeling of being unwanted.  I felt like my friends were ignoring me, and it seemed like no one cared about me.  The depression kept getting worse and worse everyday.  I am the type of person that keeps my emotions to myself, so I’d try to put on a happy face whenever I was around people.  Recently, I noticed that I’m not depressed 100% of the time.  I looked up why that might be, and my symptoms matched the bipolar disorder symptoms.  I finally decided I needed help, so I scheduled an appointment with […]

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Vows

by QuixoticNomad
written by QuixoticNomad

What kind of vows are out there aside from marriage vows?

I understand that there are common-law marriages wherein a couple lives together for a certain time and are then deemed married although they’d never taken any legal action to certify the marriage.

I understand that there can be a vow between any two people or any number of people(e.g. I vow to do…)

 

So, what makes one vow stronger or more acceptable than the others?

 

A friend of mine recently argued to me that a breakup that I’d gone through could not compare to the troubles(a temporary separation) in his marriage. He went on to list everything he’d […]

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Somebody Please

by holdingOn
written by holdingOn

Please enlighten me!!!

When the fuck does life get tired of beating the living shit out of you??

For some reason the sweet kiss of death is so much more promising then the mere thought of tomorrow….. two more hours… then the sun comes up and I put on a happy face and for what?? I’m not happy. I’m fucking miserable….but soon…. soon it’ll all be over and I won’t have to fake it for another God damn day 🙂

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Strange day

by TheGoodGirl
written by TheGoodGirl

So, I went out into the world today. Crazy, I know. I didn’t even give a shit if I looked like a zombie. I didn’t try to put on a happy face or smile at strangers or laugh needlessly. I was myself. I was my emotionally drained self. I felt like I wasn’t really ‘there’ today. Not like an out-of-body thing, though. Ugh, I don’t know how to explain it. One of the things I did today was return a pair of jeans that were too loose. I now have $28.00 to my name. Yay. I’m going to hold on to that 28 dollars like […]

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looking for a way out

by everwaiting
written by everwaiting

I am a 17 year old girl and I found this website while seeking least painful methods of suicide on Google.

If I had half an ounce of courage in my veins, I would damn painlessness and go out messily: off the edge of a building of with a bullet to the temple. I am, however, extraordinarily cowardly when it comes to agony. I would be inclined towards an overdose, but I hear that’s a horrible way to go – vomitting. I would inject some air into a vein, but where would I get the syringe? And I’m no fan of needles… In short, the recurrent […]

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