At this time of night all I can think about is I don’t fit in with this family. My dad got this girlfriend and she has three kids. I’m 21 and they rang from 10 to 12. I get I have to grow up but dam they talk me into these “family” trips. I am not the family type. I love my family but I can’t do the happy family crap. My family if broken and I am trying to keep the little family I have together.I cry a lot more then I use to and my friends have talked to me about how scared […]
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Happy Family
I swear, I have lead bones. they weigh me down. I promise you, I have water in my lungs. I drown all the time. I don’t know why I feel this way. I’ve never known why and that is the worst part. I live in a happy family and i’m the dark cloud. i’m the rain on their parade. I guess you could say I have a great life and looking at it from another point of view, I can see how that would be true. but I feel like I am dead on the inside. and I wish I was on the outside. I’m […]
So my horoscope tells me that its hard for me to be emotional. Is it really? Well my family tends to think so. In my mind I always feel like committing suicide. At one moment I can feel so HAPPY that my family thinks I’m always the happy child and then at the next I feel so lonely, and secluded, out of place. I never fully understand what triggers my feeling to go up and down. When I was in class 7 I lied to my friends telling them that I’m an expert at self harming but honestly I never even dared to try it. […]
So my horoscope tells me that its hard for me to be emotional. Is it really? Well my family tends to think so. In my mind I always feel like committing suicide. At one moment I can feel so HAPPY that my family thinks I’m always the happy child and then at the next I feel so lonely, and secluded, out of place. I never fully understand what triggers my feeling to go up and down. When I was in class 7 I lied to my friends telling them that I’m an expert at self harming but honestly I never even dared to try it. […]
My family told me 2 days ago. Two days ago was my birthday. Well, my family were the only one who congratulated me in person, the one I love just send a SMS, well she wanted to go ice-skating with me on my birthday, my family hold me back from meeting her. Got no friends who congratulated me in person. 🙁 All I recognized is that she went to lunch with an other guy, after all the weekends we ate together. I don’t know why this makes me so sick and jealous. It is now nearly one year ago that she rejected me.
All I learned […]
Well I think its time to tell people why I cut and why I think I’m depressed. It starts off like all the rest, happy family, with money, love ect.. When I was about four years of age I was working in the farm with my daddy and my sixteen year old cousin, my dad left to get some food for the cattle, I was sitting on a lump of hay. My cousin comes up to me and starts fingering me. It was not a good experience for me and I couldn’t get him to stop. I think he would have gone a lot further […]
My Daddy was a great man. He served as an ANZAC corporal when he was younger, he helped failing communities to fix all their problems. Daddy was one who made others laugh and smile, he smiled along with them. This is his story, (IM LEAVING OUT OUR NAMES INCASE SOME ONE DESIDES TO STALK MY FAMILY)
“Daady” i ran outside to Daddy washing his truck “and how is my baby princess? bubba how old are you now?” Daddy dropped the hose and picked me up “im this money!” i held up a $1 coin to say i was 1 “ohh thank you bubba girl, want a […]
My parents just left and took my brother. Fuck… I really need someone to talk to… I feel really lonely. I can’t honestly believe that they are still mad at me for filing that case against them… My dad hit me and when I tried to run away he pushed me… I’m having a hard time keeping it together. I’m trying to keep it cool and collected but, I know my days are numbered. I turn 18 in 52 days. My moms keeping count. She’s kicking me out… She’s let me know that for a fact.  They won’t even let me talk to my little brother when […]
Well… I know I should have life made for me. I’m part of a middle class, happy family. I come from a tradition of academia. Intelligence is highly valued. I go to a fantastic school, and everyone thinks I’m going places. Before this year though, I was bullied since I was young, around 7. I have never had a high opinion of myself, and about two years ago I started feeling more andore miserable. I withdrew from everyone. I now believe I was depressed.
I am a weak person, and I have done a terrible thing. I again feel like taking my own life. What is […]
as long as i chudd remember my mom was on drugs. wen she was high on pills me nd my sister picking her uhp off dha floor nd putting her on dha bed, making shure she ate, nd giving her a bath became a every day routine. we were young, very young nd we had to run behind our mom like a toddler. our dad wasnt going to do iht nor was our brothers, he had a enough wit her popping pills nd being selfish. me nd my sister was too bhuh our love for our mom was so much dhatt iht chuddnt let us leave her der. […]
I’m 26. Bipolar, student, mom. When I was a teenager my father shot himself and survived(thankfully) in our home. Every since that day my life change forever. I wasn’t the happy girl anymore. I thought as I got older things would get better, but my husband recently left us. I was abused in just about every way, but I am beyond sad over this loss. I constantly think about death and suicide. I also feel like a horrible parent. I wanted nothing more than to have a happy family for my son, but our home life was a nightmare. But now I have no one […]
It bothers me when people who are living a perfectly normal life with no problems whatsoever say they’re suicidal. To me, saying you’re suicidal isn’t a joke at all. If you have nothing to be angry about life, why should you joke around with the meaning? I been suicidal since I was 12 but you know what, I’m trying my best to not do anything stupid. Living with my family isn’t the best place to be right now because there is constantly arguing and fighting going on while I have so called “friends” who are never there when I need them and whom only cares […]
Today was even worse I have this overwhelming desire not to live anymore. I passed a wreck I even stopped to see if everything was okay.. I got back in my car and cried because I wasnt the one who died in the wreck! I would gladly take the place of the other person.. I cry everyday more today then usual.. No one would care if I died my family would only be worried about their perfert image and what people would say about there daughter killin herself. My funeral would be filled with not close friends and a happy family but with people who […]
My family tree aint that good, Dad is an ass hole, always sayin I cant do nothing , mom hates that im not girly they both hate the fact im lesbian I want my future family tree to be better than what I have I want my girlfriend tgat ihave now for 2years to be my wife, have a beautiful home 2kids and a puppy.. NO yelling, NO abuse, NO put downs just being a happy family :’) :/
I feel like dealing with not being loved is so much harder than dealing with an act of hatred or violence. I was molested as a child and beaten for years, but the scars that remain aren’t from those acts (which came from my brother), but from the fact that I never felt loved as a child by my father and brother. That’s the hurt that I have to live with and that has wrecked my self-esteem.
My father never did any fatherly things with me, like kick a ball with me, come watch me play, do homework with me or anything like that… He always made […]
I’m the good girl in my family. The smiling one. The girl who’s always offering to help out around the house. The girl my parents have never really had to worry about. I only ever argue with my sister, and I get on really well with almost my whole family. I’m the bright, spirited one. I have an opinion on everything, but I accept everyone. I’m the kind and loving girl and my parents constantly tell me how much I mean to them.
But that’s changed so suddenly.
In just a matter of days, I’ve fallen apart.
The thoughts have been there for years, but only now are […]
Dear world, it is truly lovely to be alive today on this day of love. I couldn’t be happier because of these amazing people around me.
You all made my day, and my life. Because i don’t want to be a alive, but I DO, for all of you. Because i love you all.
Happy Valentines Day, Family, Friends, Past Lovers, Present Lovers. Everyone, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY.
When I think of myself more often then not I just want to puke. I used to be so happy and free spirited and I feel high school and just recent events in my life is ruining me. I am more cynical, I dont get along with parents, I dont have a 4.0, I feel fat and ugly…i am a let down to my amazing little sister and my life is just one big treadmill. Its like ive climbed on and cant get off. I just have to keep running because I cant stop or I will get flung off and I dont know how to […]