I wish i had either i just want to eat all day every day. And David Bowie is dead? Really WTF? Hes a fucking genius!!!
Edit:I hate seeing this disgusting detestable ogre staring me back in the mirror. Its easy to shovel in more food when you’re already a fat pig and you’re perpetually suicidal. Also, fucking Ziggy Stardust is dead. Things are not hunky dory. Im under pressure to lose weight and get a better job and i feel low.
I am a 23 year old girl from India… I am an engineer and I am doing my post graduation now… I have a loving sister, an over protective mother and a really nice father… they love me indeed but out of all the love they have for me, they just fail to see how screwed up my life is…
I was in a really committed relationship for almost 3 years… And it’s been a year since we broke up… He was my first and I wanted him to be the only one… here in India SEX is everywhere but it’s just a taboo when it happens […]
Maby its time to tell why I am here. My brother killed himself a week ago. He didnt leave a note he didnt tell me, that anything is so very wrong. I knew that he is depressed, because he was in his room all day doing nothing. Hes moode changed super fast … But last couple of months he seemed much better, like he finnaly made peace with the world. I get it now… I read a few pages he wrote. He thought nobody loved him – I LOVED HIM!!! I still do… He decided to kill himself till july and didnt want anyone to […]
For years I’ve been afraid of fear. My main phobia is hands. How does an artist come to be so terrified of what she needs to use to create? And im not talking like an “ew, they’re creepy” fear, I mean full blown body shakes, nightmares, parinoia, the works.
and that’s only one of the endless list that i dont want to live.
There’s also heartache after constant heartbreak, the last one also the worst one, i just cant seem to recover from. Mainly because of the loss of my very first child.
There’s also having to choose between my parents, who divorced when […]
This crap is getting really old. My new boyfriend, the one afore mentioned, turns out to be nothing that i was expecting under pressure.
The story starts on Thursday after school. Im texting him and his ‘best friend’ takes his phone and starts a convo with me like she knows me. Being the polite girl i am, i keep talking to her. She then tells me she has feelings for my bf and so my friend takes my phone and politely tells her(under me) that there needs to be boundaries cuz were dating. This girl starts trippin on me and i leave with my best […]
i got a girlfriend! woohooo. asked her out on tuesday. she said yes. so now me and her are together.. but shes pretty busy so we dont get to hang out much.
i told one of my friend about how i have a girlfriend and hes like “what? but you’re not a lesbian.” and that just pissed me off. yah im not a lesbian. im pansexual.
i burnt my finger last night.. got bored so i was melting plastic with my lighter and it dripped onto my finger, i hope it doesnt get infected..
got a new look, more punk now and i LOVE it. tho i do […]
Im so pissed today.I had a great morning went out for my birthday with my therapist even though they gave me a gift card to buy clothes knowing if they gave me it for anything else i wouldve bought pills and probably taken them.What people dont get is im already going to do that and i can find my own way to get what i need cause im resourceful.But it gets worse
I go on a site to get free stuff and give away stuff and they took the item i was giving away down.Even though people were giving away the same item.Anyway not […]
I dont cry. I really dont. I didnt cry when my cousin spread rumors about me, when the girls would push me down stairs and the boys would slam me against lockers, when someone who i thought was a friend back stabbed me, when someone who used to be my friend literally spit in my face, when nobody cared. I only cry for 2 things: the death of a loved one and romantic/sad movies(yeah i know dumb reason to cry but hey im human). I used to cry myself to sleep every night when i was younger but i promised myself never again. I refused […]
What the hell is wrong with me? Am I an unlikable person? *sigh* I try you know I try to be friendly but why is it that in whatever I do Im just ignored. Im currently in art school and I try. try hard and I am decent at what I do yet I get no attention in any thing its like Im invisible and it just makes me hate everyone at school.school I HATE that too I enjoy the learning yes BUT I HATE THE PEOPLE THERE …I just hate people in general ? I didnt use to be like this I wasnt so […]
Its been almost 2 months since my dad agreed to stay out of our lives. Ive hated every minute of it, Ive sent him messages, texts, basically anything to get him to contact. After our last arguement a few weeks ago, he said fine..I mean he didnt even fight to see me..He spent ten years away, in prison. Now its been almost 3 years since hes been out..Ive only seen him almost 2 years out of that. My mom keeps saying instead of being so rude to him, which I will admit im doing now because he wont respond at all, try asking if he`ll […]
things with my deppresion and life in general have felt overall better recently, but it is a daily fight, its like the celldweller song-birthright “holding on until my hands and mind start bleeding” it feels like they are bleeding, beeding pain. im getting tired anmd i can tell, everytime im having a bad day i have to fight every waking moment and its making me tired, what if i slip back and end up so deep or deeper as i was before? honestly im scared, all these what ifs are running throught my mind, im getting tired of the fight. “hes on his way to […]
The two things that have kept me pushing threw life are my dogs. Sad isnt it? Scotty and Sky .
Ive had sky for 7 years. Ive had scotty for 3. They where best friends. We where best friends. I cried with them, loved them, played with them. I always turned to them when things got bad. They loved me.
Well Guess what happened on Friday the 6th ? My poor little girl Sky got hit by a car. Shes gone. I dont know what to do or how to feel. Ive never lost anybody close to me before and i gotta tell you, it really hurts. […]
The depression break downs I seem to experience are coming back more and more this week. Yesterday I was just so depressed I couldnt pull myself up. I got up to take my medicine and ended up just laying in the floor. It just felt like it wasnt worth getting up to survive. My fight with my dad is getting no better. Hes still choosing his wife/ex-wife (its complicated) over me. My mom keeps saying Karma comes around..he`ll regret it when hes older. Thats not good enough to me. I dont want to wait. I want him in my life now. Its just frustrating
As much as […]
I started texting a guy yesterday, and well its been great. Hes made me so happy and feel so loved, I didnt even notice the little bits of depression through out the day as much as I usually do.. Hes just amazing (:
Even if it dosent work out to be something more..atleast I know ive made a great friend
i dont know how i can go through days anymore the friends i suposily know are all smart goodlookin talented at somethin they always have a girl chattin em up and shit sendin them calls texts while i have barly any girls who would even look at me in the hallway iv left my phone on for few days to see the loser who i really am not one single female texted me or “friend” calld me. i used to be great at sports was startin linebacker got respect from fellow men around me and varsity wrestling and used to be outgoin wouldnt care then […]
i think my body is telling me to die. when i am riding my motorcycle, i tend to lose myself in imagining that i crash at the road, lifeless body, or hit a trunk of a tree with a branch piercing my heart. when i in a trance like that, my body tends to press the oil even harder, making more speed. i smiled everytime i skidded a little on the road.
i have a couple of friends that i always hang out with in order to release pent up stress but now i felt that my mind is going crazier by the minute. when my […]
hi there im lily. im the age of under 18. if your on here just cuz your bored or you actually wanna know, w/e i dont really care if your willing to listen then great! cuz id like you to know my story…
my life was and still slightly is wrapped up in lies. it was taking everything over. it was making me into something i wasnt and getting me into alot of trouble. it was getting me down that everything i talked about wasnt real. i was getting sick of it.
then theres alan. hes now my ex but was my SPD (sadistic personality disorder) boyfriend. […]
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