For a long time i have felt but a hollow shell and unwanted/loved. NO matter what the incident is I am the one who is to yell at. Feeling unloved by my parents is the worst, I have never lived up to my sisters, straight A students, went to college, got good jobs. Me i don’t even get a second look by my parents. Listening to all the accomplishments my sisters have is annoying. I had always showed my love towards my family but since birth i was hated. Locked outside to “play” while my sisters watched TV. Sent to my room where their was […]
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Hollow Shell
Well as you can see above (Phobias from Hell) are the root cause for my want of self destruction. I know this is somehow cliche with my appearance, but I can’t change a stereotype.
Since early childhood I have had an irrational, severe phobia of doctors. I can’t even go to the school nurse with out a panic attack. To go along perfectly with my fear of doctors, I’m a hypochondriac to the extreme. When I was 12 I was convinced I was dying of colon cancer and (tad graphic, sorry) at any moment I would discharge blood from my bowels and that would be that. After […]
Hello, I’m new to the site.
My name is Jaspar and I think I’m going to die…
What to say? I came to this site out of desperation…I’ve tried everything, therapy, meds which just leave me feeling sick. nothing is working. I’m just so fucking tired. I’m scared, so very scared of dieing…but the pain of life is too great and Depression got the best of me. I’m actually almost…excited? that I may end my suffering and go into an eternal sleep. I just have to find the right method of suicide now. I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s like death is fucking calling me. My […]
Kill me to free me
Tis my only option now
Cause I don’t have faith in myself
And ive lost my way long ago
In this storm that I brave to see a better day
I find myself crawling
Clinging to the fragile roots that doth hold me here
For my soul died long agoÂ
I live as a hollow shell
So go ahead and kill me
Send the rest of me to hell
Or release me from this hell
Where today I now dwellÂ
Searching for something else
To stay for, to breathe for, to live for
My tears have fallen for you
For the past the present […]