Hello, I’m 18 and I was recently hospitalized at an impatient facility before my 18th birthday for a suicide attempt. The facility I was at was really comfortable and I made great connections there. I kinda rushed out of it because Christmas was in a few days and i felt a lot of pressure to be home for the holidays (and I was a little homesick). I’m thinking of going back, but now that I’m 18 I would be in the adult ward and I’m afraid of what that’s like. Im in a really dark place right now and I came to this site with […]
Tag:
Hospitalization
This is my first time posting on here, and I would like to read some first hand accounts of hospitalization after a suicide attempt, or being hospitalized for threatening to do so. I would like to know whether you feel it helped you or made you feel worse. Were you diagnosed with a mental illness and do you still want to kill yourself?
I’ll start…
Bought components for helium bag online last fall (live in a small town so it was easier to find online). I suppose I was acting a little too disconnected from others and my boyfriend caught on before I could summon the courage to […]
I’m bipolar II.
That’s like a bipolar I without the happies.
The fellow that I thought was one of my last friends always told me that if I needed help, I should not run away again, but call him.
I did. Â I did not tell him that I had gotten much much sicker in the head. Â I’d been hearing voices for a while and didn’t notice until now. Â I was getting help from my doctor, but I wasn’t sure how far it would go. Â Hospitalization? Â I had no idea.
I was going to the hospital the next week, so I wanted to line things up with the fellow. […]
Completely lost my identity to bipolar three years ago when my family pushed me into hospitalization and disability. had a shitty psychiatrist who overmedicated me to the point of not being able to function. so medicated that I couldn’t hold a job, lost three in one year. My career is over, as one of the jobs was in my career field and I was fired. I’ve tried 17 different medications. now i tried ECT and it has obliterated my short term memory and ability to feel anything. I have no desire to do anything at all. My mind […]
These thoughts of suicide are consuming me. So much in fact that last night i dreamt that i had ODed (but didnt die) and i went to a hospital and my friend was there and she asked “Why would you do this?” or something along the lines of that and i replied “School.” (because the pressures of school are whats making me depressed and suicidal) The scary part is that i didnt regret it one bit. I woke up feeling happy because of what i had done in the dream, then i was disappointed when i realized that it was only a dream. I constantly […]
I’ve been trying not to talk about my personal life, but my therapy appointment kind of devastated me this morning and I need to talk somewhere. The counselor said that hospitalization might be a good idea, but the devastating part is that this is one of my “good days”. If a professional thinks that an average day in my life is “worthy of hospitalization”, then it’s fair to question my overall well being.
I feel as if I’m on death’s doorstep right now…
I’ve been thinking a lot lately. Â I have rarely thought this much. Â I’ve always been an intellectual, but now I am really looking at this from every angle. Â I do want you guys to know that I hope that you don’t give up if there is any inkling in you to want to live. Â I want you to fight for a better tomorrow, I really do. Â I want you to be well and happy and healthy. Â And I really believe you can get there. Â Most of your problems are situational or solved with medications and therapy. Â I really think there is a way out for […]
I really don’t understand. Nothing affects me like my father. I’ve had my brother tell me he is so disappointed in me, that I am selfish and immature, that I abuse the ones I love with what I do, that all I care about is attention-seeking, that I’m going to fail in life. I’ve had my mother tell me that she simply can’t believe that I am not doing this to hurt her. That my cutting, that my suicide attempts, that even my physical illnesses like my catatonic episodes where I ended up in Hopkins Neurology because I couldn’t move my body, that all of […]
I fucking hate my life.My dad came to my meeting today.Which is okay cause im like well if there talking to him i dont have to say shit.The problem is for one the meeting was way to long and ackward.I just wanted to get out of there.Theres going to be a big argument tonight about being hospitalized to test to see what meds im allergic.There on to me about the whole suicide even though i wouldnt dare give them information they could use to lock me up.I dont want to deal with all this at all and i have to suffer through it till after […]
I’m finally done. I just can’t stop the madness in my head. I tried all kids of meds. Zoloft, xanax, paxil, Prozac, etc. this list goes continues. Every shrink diagnoses me with the same thing, major depressive disorder and generalized and socialized anxiety. I think hospitalization would only out me in a worse mental state. Talking sometimes helps but mainly I can’t focus that long. Breathing exercises would be eat if I could take a deep breathe. Sure there are circumstances that depress me but there always is and always will be. It’s my own self, my own head. Nothing helps me. No one can help me. After more than 15 years, I’ve felt this way, I don’t have anymore in me. I’m not looking for sympathy or jokes or even asking the best way to go. I just needed to write it down. I do think about my family and the 2 friends that have stuck by me. I thrill of my 11 month niece that won’t know me her auntie. I don’t want anyone to find me. I will leave letters for those who meant the most and I will simply disappear for a stranger to find later.
by mlrobin
written by mlrobin
Once I had a dream that I had just made an attempt to hang myself and I was looking in the mirror and there was a blue and purple bruise around my neck. A little more than a week ago I made an attempt and I looked in the mirror after I cut the noose off and my face looked awful. My normal coloring didn’t return until a few days later — I had to cover up with makeup and even then it looked bad.
That last attempt was the closest I have ever been to dying. I passed out and my coming to was accidental, […]
I’ve contemplated suicide for quite some time now. when things really started to get bad I told my psychiatrist and I was sent to the hospital for having a plan. I spent 5 weeks at one facility and still felt suicidal so I was sent to a long term facility for 2 weeks but I talked my way out of there.
I spent 2 weeks at home before I decided I was going to kill myself. I overdosed on medication and woke up in the hospital. I thought great here I go again. I spent 1 week in the hospital and 3 weeks in intensive […]
I’m sorry it had to be this way, I just can’t take it anymore. All aspects of my PTSD are taking over my life. I never smile anymore, and when I do it’s because I’m thinking of death.. I know this is going to hurt you, and i know you will all think I’m a selfish ungrateful monster, but I’m not. I just want to be set free, I want to be able to release the burden I carry, not to mention the burden I put on you with my meds, and hospitalization. Don’t think of this as a loss please, just think of how happy […]
No need for a name, therefore, my name will me Anonymous. I’m a 17 year old female who tries to hide away most of her emotion. I was diagnosed with depression, PTSD, mild OCD, insomnia, and possible BPD. My life is a nightmare most days. After my initial hospitalization, i started treatment, and for the most part it helped a lot. But lately, I’ve loss interest in school, isolated myself a lot, and am becoming increasingly more impulsive (I went out one day and just got a tattoo, on my wrist. So much for ever being a professional.) I have attempted suicide 5 times […]
Dear mom
How can you be surprised? After everything that’s happened over the last few years how can you be even be shocked that I’m angry with you? After everything I’ve gone through and all you could think of you! I neededmy mom and my dad to support me and you could only see yourself. I needed someone to hug me and tell me it was going to get better that this was a rough patch. You couldn’t be there for me and help me through my two weeks of hospitalization after trying to kill myself because how dare I try […]
… I just got a call.. From my best friends brother… She died at 10:48. They couldn’t save her. They said she lost too much blood… That there was no hope to save her… Amanda…my best friend…you promised me..that we were both stuck here with each other… and you left.. Without calling me, without telling me.. without taking me with you… You alone got me through my hospitalization. You gave me hope. You were the only one that could make me laugh anymore… Whose gonna make me laugh now? Whose gonna tell me it’s ok? Whose gonna remember the times we had at the unit? […]
My family read my diary, which described all the details of my sadness and my wish to die. I am now on lock-down. They don’t want to leave me alone and I am being pushed toward hospitalization. I now have to move out of my sister’s house because she fears for her children’s safety, not really mine.
So,
I’m looking for a place to live, but I honestly want to be done with this. I have no where to go and no on wants to claim me. I’m pretty sure no one cares about me and the one person I thought I could count on made me […]
I’ve wanted to kill myself at various times throughout the past 5 years. Â About two months ago I started to become serious about it and began to plan my death. Â This was after I had gotten out of the psychiatric hospital (my 7th hospitalization since 17 years old). Â I was in the hospital for almost 4 weeks and received 6 electro-convulsive therapy treatments. Â I also got put on some new medications which didn’t do anything to no surprise. Â I was however started on adderall which was the only thing that got me out of bed and able two at least go through the motions of […]