How would you mourn me? (A candle, a lantern, a flower, ect.?)
What memory would you keep of me?
What would you do to keep me “alive” even after death?
Would you miss me?
Would it hurt?
Would you give up because I gave up?
Tag:
I gave up
So it’s been a while since I’ve commented or posted on here. Before I found SP I felt worthless, purposeless and like a failure. I’ve failed at everything I’ve attempted in my life, but when it came to being there for you guys I felt like I meant something. Like I could actually help people like me. However, when those thoughts start to whirl around in my mind every negative, demonic energy creeps up and tells me why I’ll never be worth it and while I’ll never make a difference. I’ve always felt as if I was in search of something, something fulfilling. I’m not […]
I don’t understand why I let her in again. It took less than 24 hours for me to fall back under her spell. I have no power in this relationship- I never have. When I left her ten months ago, I slowly started to gain my self-confidence and independence back. But four days ago, I let her back into my life. I am weak again, and I just want her to hold me and run her fingers through my hair. I am so close to my 1000th day of not self-harming, and I have not stopped thinking about cutting […]
My first time taking it was really recently. DAMN THAT STUFF IS AWESOME! Sure, it has fucked up side effects, but those are things for people who want to live to worry about, not me. Still suicidal, but at least now I see things the way they are:
I am meant to die as a lone wolf
I’ve tried acting ”normal” for far too long, and it’s time to be myself
I’m aggressive by nature. Spent far too much time pacify myself.
Suicide is the only happy ending I will be able to get, and I do not fear death anymore
Society is nothing but a bunch of half-retarded sheep […]
You could have it all, my empire of dirt,
I will let you down, I will make you hurt,
If I could start again, a million miles away,
I would keep myself, I would find a way.
The only way to love me is to never, ever know me.
If I only knew what to say, someone would actually listen.
If I only cared enough to try, someone would be here with me.
If I only fought harder, maybe I wouldn’t be this.
But everyone gives up eventually, and I guess I gave up a long time ago.
It’s too late for me now.
It’s time to become someone else.
And when I’ve […]
When I was growing up my life was fine until my dreams turned into night mares by nights got longer and afternoons got shorter. when I was 12 I starting cutting my wrist because I was bullied in school mostly by boys, (im a girl) It was a time where I wanted to commit suicide in the school bathroom with my belt but I was a cow ward and didn’t go through with it. By 13 I was cutting both wrist an legs I knew I was supposed to eat but I would just drink water for days and not eat anything. I got a […]
This feel like giving up I am in my late 30’s no wife or kid’s no career . I gave up on love then I fond the girl of my dreams every thing I always wanted . It was like finding a female me . Tells me she never going anywhere and were going to have a life together then she dumps me because of a mistake form past and a dream that I would hurt her. Tells me she had to many issues to be in a relationship . Then only to find out she started dating a buddy . That put me in […]
I regret it completely.
I tried talking to my school counsellor, and another lecturer whom I hoped could trust with this problem. I just felt so hopeless that I thought that perhaps telling someone would lessen it (I don’t know, it was a moment of weakness).
Not only did that lecturer betray confidentiality – she told the counsellor that I wanted to commit suicide (which it do not) – and according to protocol she may have to report me. I couldn’t believe it. You can’t trust anyone, no matter what they swear or promise.
It was awful. The counsellor indirectly blamed me for her not being able to […]
I’ve got nothing left to live for. Everything I had I gave up for wanting something I really believed in, now that too is gone. I cannot continue living in this depression. I’ve tried sleeping pills last week but only woke up two days later, feeling like more of a failure for not even being able to kill myself. Cutting is not an option. I was thinking of driving out to the beach at night, taking another dose of sleeping tablets and then going into the water once I feel the effect thereof. I cannot keep breathing in this miserable existence any longer
I’ve always pondered whether loneliness was a disease or if it were a momentary reflection of how another sees me. If I feel so alone in my own company, how could another possibly enjoy me?
I’ve been so miserable at times I pondered ending it, but then I always have a flash of the world, and I realize what I’d be throwing away if I gave up.
I’m a wanderer who’s passionately in love with life, and I would dread to envision the world as it is now when I could’ve changed it just by changing myself, but instead left it to the rest of people […]
I’m depressed and it’s been awhile since its been like this. I gave up cutting 3 weeks ago I just want to do it I need it I really do need it. I keep having dreams of me commiting suicide so the thoughts of that has come back. It’s not that I feel like I have to kill myself not the feeling I used to but the possibility that its the only way to stop this cycle of depression anxiety depression then okay for a while the again and again. I have some one and a moderately good future to look forward too. I just […]
Losing one’s mind can really make you lose your mind. I lost mine, and as though it doesn’t make much sense, because I haven’t found it yet, I feel like I keep losing it.
Like I’m falling an endless hole, like I’m drowning in a bottomless sea. Just when I think it can’t get any worse my inner demons welcome me to a new and improved methods of suffering. I can’t fucking take it anymore.
I make a plan. 3AM. Overdose. Yet every night at 2:59AM I bail. I just go on dying. Oh well.
I gave up the search for my lost mind. They say when things get […]
Suicide is the ultimate form of giving up. In 2001 while watching the movie :CAST AWAY” this poem just came to me. I’m posting here, right now for givingup It goes like this:
What if I gave up today
and tomorrow I won the lottery?
What if I gave up today
And tomorrow I met the woman of my dreams?
What if I gave up today
And tomorrow I started living my dreams?
What if I gave up today
And tomorrow I figured out how to be successful?
What if I gave up today
And tomorrow I came to know I deserved what I want?
What […]
I haven’t been the same person I have been. I use to be a happy confident person. Now I just feel worthless and a waste of a person. I was a US soldier until I gave up on that because of my ex wife not wanting me anymore. She has been the main reason why I have been in this rut. I thought she really loved me and ending up leaving me while I was in service. If she didn’t want to be with me why would anyone else want to? I gave up my dream and passion to peruse our love and try to […]
Dear life, I am tired of being afraid.
I don’t care about anything anymore. It’s all just pointless now. I don’t care about life, about the future, about death, nothing. I gave up a long time ago. I guess if you immerse yourself in enough pain you eventually stop feeling it. But the problem is that I still do feel. It would all just be easier if I ended it all, but somehow I can’t get any access to anything lethal. I thought that all of this would eventually end when things got too bad to bear, but every time I hit rock bottom, somehow I […]
So I haven’t been here on SP for 1,5 month I guess. It’s because I’m doing really bad. In that time I quitted school, had an intake with 2 mental health institutions, going to start therapy next week, got a cat (it’s really a sweetheart and I’m so glad my parents agreed with a pet), and yeah, the only thing I do is sleeping and sitting. Not going outside anymore, see nobody. Actually I have no life anymore. And the thing is: I don’t give a f*cking shit, I don’t care.
Last week, I grabbed my knife and started to cut, made a cut on […]