uhm hi everyone,im new here.so last summer i tried to kill myself with pills but i failed and ended up in hospital for 2 weeks.i was diagnosed with major depression.my whole family thinks this is some kind of joke,they think that theres no way i could be depressed bc im just a teen and its so disgustin and annoying.my parents are horrible.theyre calling me names and expect too much.i cry almost everynight because i cant get their words oyt of my head.my mom thinks “i’ve everything” but to her everything is money and material stuff.they never tried talking to me and always act like everything […]
Tag:
Idk
No Glory In The Process.
Idk, its just a phrase thats plays alot on my mind when i start to get down. Im not sure what it means to me, or if its helping or not. Its just there.
I’ve never been on this site before ever. I’m killing myself tonight but I just wanted to talk to some people before I do. Idk. I haven’t really talked to my friends lately. Just something to keep my mind off of it for a few hours I guess. Thanks homies
Ahem. *clears throat* Awkward. TnT Fuck. Anxiety. Let’s see. Lost 3 friends to suicide. 1 had recently attempted. Idk. I used to have a whole group of friends. Depression came by for a visit. Boom. Became distant and just closed myself up from everyone. Avoiding people all day at school unless I’m stuck with a partner. Realized no one gives a shit about me disappearing. Yep. *becomes air* Probably going to fail school because I’m skipping classes to avoid having anxiety attacks even though I still have them. Holy horseshit I’m probably sounding like some little shit right now. *face palms* How did I even […]
Okay, I’ve read some stories on here and they made me feel like I could share mine. When I was in seventh grade I was a really happy person. I was like everyone else. I laughed, I played around a lot. I was always happy. Then towards the end of the year this girl (I’ll call her P) started to harass me. She constantly talked bad about me and said terrible things. She would write posts about me on Facebook and say I didn’t deserve to be alive. I don’t know why she hated me so much. Her and her group of friends would constantly […]
I usually wear heels and skirts to school, looking put together, but today I just didn’t feel like it. I showed up to school in sweats, vans, my pajama shirt and threw my hair up in a pony tail. This guy literally came up to me and said “Is that (my name)?” My outfit complexly represented me. Not a good day. Someone called me boring. He may have been joking, but I couldn’t tell. I don’t want to be boring, but even I seem boring to myself now.
xoxo,
It’s Only Me
I don’t know what’s happening with me !! I’ve been having thoughts about harming myself and thinking that life would be better with out me …the last few months have been awful I’ve lost weight , not eating , just sitting alone .. All my friends left me, my family is mad at me !! I just don’t know what to do .:: last night was the first time I cut myself ..:but I’ve came to realization that I don’t need to do that ! I need help please someone help me !
I feel lost and scared. I am stuck in a rut with work and school. I am not the person I thought I would be at this point in my life.. Just don’t feel like I can turn to anyone. I have had bad thoughts running through my head too often and they keep coming. The people I could talk to have vanished I don’t know how to continue on faking like I’m okay. I don’t know how to life live knowing I’m not who I want to be and trying to change doesn’t satisfy anyone they want immediate change and I can’t provide that
This is pretty tough. So what if I get through the day. and tomorrow. I’m 24 years old and when I’m homeless eventually I will probably have no choice. I’m gonna be the one living with my parents until they kick me out or pass. Then I can pass too. How do we escape this nexus. I know how but I still cant do it. Been a warrior for a while, IDK how much longer I can live, maybe couple weeks.
i think everyone goes through everything in their head before committing suicide. How everyone will feel and how everything will be afterwards. I guess I’m finally on that stage. I have nothing else to think. Anything that pops into my head it’s to get away from everyone. Stop hurting people I love. And to leave the people that dont need me anymore. I dont have a purpose here. Who am I kidding? I just haven’t committed into really leaving because I want to be here to see everyone else’s reaction when I’m dead. When they’re in the funeral. To see the trueness in people. Now, […]
So sorry Syria,
It’s your turn now to suffer the relentless war machine we have created. This was never the “dream” of the people, but some one pressed the bottom and now the machine is unstoppable.
Our collective hands are in the air and our perspective noses are back to the floor, our febel eyes rolled back with our stubborn feet kicking pebbles in our absence of helpful words for reasoning.
“I guess..I guess..well idk!”
If we had control over ourselves..idk!
If we really believed in a better world for…idk!
And if we could change things for tomorrow […]
I don’t know if anyone wants to know a little more of my past, it’s kind of like a horrible fan Fic I’ve been living in. I’ll give you some fun facts:
I am a cutter. I
I am overweight. (One of the reasons I was/am bullied. Probably the only reason)
A lot of my best/mutual friends have left me. It has been by other people’s hands.
My mom used to drink heavily and she had high dosage pain pills so the combination made my worst nightmare. She was and is (even though she stopped drinking) a horrible mother. She’s very abusive, verbally, emotionally and physically.
I’m pretty […]
I just checked my email and there were like 80 emails about moderation and people just messaging me.
I’m soooo sorry if it seemed like I was ignoring people, I’m not. I just don’t check my email very often at all.
Idk..it feels like I should say more or respond to some but I don’t have time right now.
So if you’ve had missing comments on my posts I’m sorry I didn’t know they were there, I know you all take the time to comment and I feel bad now.
Sorry if this applies to you! 😐 *80 face palms*
I am a failure in all ways that matter to me i cant stay away from drugs and they no longer even numb my pain the one i love with all my heart is to afraid what it would mean to love me to be gay even tho he has said if he was he would marry me and has considered it…..he claims he cares and that i am a good man but he was raised to hate gays even tho he does not hate me??? yet his ex he hates and is always fighting with but uses for a booty call will spend a […]
I hate OWLS. It’s said if you hear an owl cry it means someone you know is going to die.
I thought I was done hearing them after my boyfriends cousin died from Cancer last summer. Today I find out that Talia died. I’m so sorry for anyone who has or knows someone who’s going through this. Idk, I just decided to write what I felt because I’m sad, and all this brings memories from when Ernie my boyfriends cousin passed away. I always thought life was so hard for me, but it’s harder for people suffering.
Rest in piece to all the souls that were taken […]
my frends had prom today its all over facebook… i didunt go… i dont even have a girlfrend to hug or a frend… im the sad lonly kid who knw one whants to help cos it will bring them down… crying my eys out chane smoking… this is something i will regret for the rest of my life i startid to cut agen… my dad says im nothing and you may be reading this now thinking “but im your frend” well thank you for that but idk when your siting in your room smoking with asleep playing havent been out for days no money stragly […]
so I called the crisis line if anyone knows wat its liek to talk to them its agnozing to try to tell somone to ask for help when all people do is judge and say Its all fucking up to you really i had no idea i understand there just trying to help but i have heard it so much I have complained so much I know theres six billon people in the world but what dose it matter existence theres so much suffering in the world anyway so why do i matter. I use to be a happy kid even if shitty stuff happned […]
wow, two post in one day, guess I got alot to say hunh? people say the teen years are the best years of your life. But to me there full of confusion, having to deal with people who look down on you, rejection, social exclusion, and uncertainty. idk, maybe that’s just me. Anybody, teen or adult, where/are your teen years the best out of your life?
Ive been mixing alcohol with heroin and tying a bag around my head. at first my bag was too small so id fall asleep with it off. i got a bigger bag (30 gal) and managed to fall asleep with it on. I apparently took it off while unconscious. Idk if i should tie it tighter or abandon this method for something preferable. id jump but i live in a very flat city. maybe i should just do a ton of heroin. its pretty nice. hard for me to keep down a proper amount of alcohol tho so im quite discouraged
“william Lewis shut the fuck or and piss off”
“what were the fuck am i”
the boy leans down from the tree
“you fucking spas your at school”
“ok i know that thank you ow wtf”
i look down and see the fag in my hand its bernd my thrum
“where did i get this fag from”
“me you twit” Louis looks out of the crowd of boys smoking
“o ok”
the bern terns in to a bone the Bone drops off all of a suddenly i feel despair stab my heart and the fag terns in to a scalpel
“wtf” i say freaked out now
“go on then you dick do it”
i loos control as the dream […]