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Inclination

why does good news not matter?

by jumpr
written by jumpr

I got word on Friday that I was admitted to a reasonably prestigious law school. Everyone at work couldn’t have been happier for me, and for about twelve straight hours, I was able to convince myself that I was a human being worthy of sucking in oxygen.

So why, in light of being accepted into this school and in knowing I’m pursuing a career I truly love, do I still want to jump?

That, I think, is the problem. If I could put my finger on why I want to do it, I’d be able to – rationally – address it. I’d be, if I so cared, […]

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In response to those that messaged…

by LoveLost55
written by LoveLost55

There seems to be a common theme when I get messages or responses from people on some of my posts.  I would like to address those now.

1. “Time will heal”(or any variation of that): My answer is this, it has been over 10 years for me.  I hurt like it is day 1.  My heart has not healed, in fact, it is very much an open, gaping wound.  Every where I go I see her.  I feel her, I sense her… it isn’t going away.  Time is only making it harder on me.  If it was getting better, if I was truly on the path […]

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I’m still here.

by sadbluesea
written by sadbluesea

For the past two weeks almost every single night I have been standing at the very top of five flights of stairs, contemplating possibilities. Imagining my body falling. Would I face up or should I choose to face the ground? I am still afraid. That is why when I find myself there, hands gripping the railing, it takes me about an hour to move. And somehow through strength or fear, I am still here.

Last night, as I started my walk up these five flights of stairs my boyfriend called me.  Instead of finishing the climb I hopped in my car and drove to his house. […]

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