I have been on a journey now for a few years. A journey of self-discovery is the way I like to think of it now. I began on my path through tragedy. My initial methods for dealing with this were vast; anger, denial, suppression – the usual, I think. It was only after a second life-altering event that I began to heal properly. Again, not right away. I was led into a darker existence, but I believe it has led me through to a better place now. I gave up on trying to ignore the immensely negative thoughts I had been having all along. I […]
Tag:
Inevitability
Well, I don’t like to say the word “suicide” because it has always had negative connotations in my life. My family is comprised of a bunch of cold-hearted, sarcastic Argonauts with strong wills and drive, so we see suicide as pathetic. And the twist: I’ve felt suicidal since day one. The inner conflict of the way I was raised and the way I feel is certainly nothing short of overwhelming. I’ve always wanted different things from the people around me and consequentially I’ve felt stifled, suppressed, and unwelcome in my environment for years. I have very few friends, and the ones I do have I […]
I’m tired. That’s all, just tired – of everything. I’ve carried a diagnosis of depression for a long time, but I’ve always managed to keep going in spite of it. Not anymore. I’m just too tired. I don’t think many people understand what it means to be tired like this - it isn’t the ‘I need to take a nap or get a good night’s sleep’ kind of tired – no, this is a bone-deep, soul-weary, insidious form of torment, an uncertain affliction of indeterminate etiology and obfuscate symptomatology; a weariness that persists and will not abate.
I want it over. I don’t want ‘help’, I’ve […]
Things have been static for me for several months … but i feel a pall slowly gathering around me. Â a sad, uneasy feeling of inevitability … I hope I’m wrong.
been known to be wrong dawg
A coma might feel better than this, attempting to discover where to begin.
You’re weighed down, you’re full of something, of sickness and desertion.
You’re weighed down, you’re full of something, you’re underneath it all.
So say goodbye to love, and hold your head up high
There’s no need to rush- we’re all just waiting… waiting to die.
Hope in a better place is all I need, with moments of innocence and mystery.
Oh, it’s the little things you miss. Like waking up all alone.
Oh, it’s the little things you miss. When you’re underneath it all.
So say goodbye to love, and hold your head up high
There’s no […]