I am a 20 year old female attending university within my home town. I honestly feel lost within my own life. I am a waste of space. I do not know how to cook, terrible at cleaning, and struggle to manage a workload in school that others would find easy. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and anxiety disorder. I was never social as a child; I can’t go up to someone and start a conversation. I had a happy childhood, up to a point. Our home has come under disrepair within the past decade or so. I love my parents, at least I believe that I do. But have I truly felt that love for them? Expressed it enough? Those are questions that I’ve never been able to find the answers to.
I’ve always done things at my own pace , but I never really reached out. I’ve never really felt motivated to life at least a semblance of my own life. I have interests, but they are very bland and vague. I have friends, but they are acquaintances at best
I’ve attempted suicide in last few years, overdosed on a handful of medications. But the likelihood of myself succeeding is extremely slim, isn’t it?
One may wonder why I have written this post; I am not certain myself. All I know is that I don’t want well-adjusted, hard working taxpayers to finance my mistakes. Might as well let my parents utilize my life insurance policy and get it over with.