Most of the time, I don’t need people. They’re irrelevant. I can manage ok without them, better in fact as I find people tiring. I have to smile and laugh and pretend everything is fine. It’s so much easier by myself. I can relax and be myself – even if that means crying in a corner. At least I have that freedom when I’m alone. But every so often I find myself reaching out. Trying to find someone to listen to me, to accept me – to like me. I want acceptance and to be admired. I want people to be surprised by my intellect […]
Tag:
Intellect
Im in my 3rd year of college. In the past i never really tried to put an effort in my academics since i naturally excel at it. My family especially my parents keeps on pressuring me to excel and be the top of my year since my parents think that finally one of their children was able to “inherit” their intellect. So this semester I had tried to put some efforts in my academics but to my frustration i failed all my subjects. Everyone around me, even my friends hero worship me because they think that im so great and that not true at all […]
DESCENT:
Falling victim from neglect
Designed thoughts and intellect
Forgotten and displaced
The crux of my dismay
I feel nothing
I am nothing
I feel nothing
Nothing
How deep I descend?
Until I reach my end?
How deep I descend?
Deeper into this abyss
Weighted down and sinking fast
Life did not offer me
More than false destiny
I feel nothing
I am nothing
I feel nothing
Nothing
How deep I descend?
Until I reach my end?
How deep I descend?
I am nothing
I feel nothing
I am nothing
I feel nothing
Nothing
Nothing…
How deep I descend?
Until I reach my end?
How […]
I remember when I was a kid holding a knife to my throat to stop my folks fighting. Â Fast forward to life at 24 and not much internally has changed.
Listing my life’s unfortunate circumstances is pointless, everyone has suffering. Â However, the one constant has that the cumulative sum has all been ‘my fault’. After starting the process 4 years back to improve myself, it seems I’m the only one aware of my progress. Other folks just have shit to so.
Furthermore, when conflict arises and I stick to my reasonable intellect and try to better the energy, it seems like I hurt more than help. I […]
I don’t know who I am, really. I don’t understand myself at times. Sometimes I think about diagnosis too much. Try to fit myself into a label. But the truth is, I’m a human being. I shouldn’t care about ‘what’ I am, I should care more about who I am. So what I lack some things most people have? For most part, I’m just as human as you are. I might be a little more logical than most of you, I tend to only use intellect and not emotions. I might be into some stuff most of you find weird (true crime, for example). But […]
Is there something wrong with me?
Am I…?Â
Insecure
Self destructiveÂ
Afraid to grow up
Nervous
Delusional
Crazy
SchizophrenicÂ
Proud
Dissociative
DilapidatedÂ
Narcissistic
Misaligned
Inoperable
Anorexic
FailureÂ
DisappointedÂ
Nostalgic
ConflictedÂ
Non-committed
Addicted
Afraid
Fearless
Normal
Perfect
Relentless
Depressed
Suicidal
Genius
Mad
Insane
I am!
There is something wrong with me!
I want to be committed to cure my ailments. I am of clear thought of body and mind for all pertinent matters. My fear of seeking help is loss of respect from my family, social status, future, but most of all, my 2nd amendment right to bare arms. I shall stand naked holding my weapon of choice and I will […]
….is what “many” of you are here ….
This has been my brief, but overhwelming experience. I raise my hat off to you …you’re doing well for others, but never forget to do well for yourself too ….
Resilience means to stand up to challenges, because everyone has them in life just different kinds.
If our waking day is made up of 18 hours, be careful what and where you focus the majority of your day. Do not let others poison your mind with their lesser thoughts, but also do not poison your mind (& body) with your own. You are stronger to resist then you think. […]