Tag:

Internal Conflict

internal conflict

by system 3/12/2021

written by system

****** im so sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry. im sorry for ******* *** **. please don’t get **** ** ******. i broke my promise to ******* ***. i couldn’t ******* **** either. im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry

why am i sorry

why am i apologizing

to the person who destroyed me

what the fuck is wrong with me?

you did unspeakable things to me. things i will never be able to forget or erase from this body. i still have the scars, your name included. i still have the wax burns.

i love you but i fucking hate your guts. you’ve taken everything from me yet […]

3/12/2021 2 comments

Internal Conflict

by teardownthewall 8/21/2014

written by teardownthewall

I would consider myself to be an intelligent person. I’ve always sought to understand how and why things are and gravitated towards reading challenging books at a young age. In Middle School I was reading books like The Count of Monte Cristo and Watership Down. By Highschool I was obsessed with authors like Alan Moore, Ray Bradbury, George Owell and Auldous Huxley. Now I’ve been clinging to Ayn Rand like she’s my own mother. It’s because of these people and the books they wrote that I’ve been instilled with a deep sense of morality and individualism. They kept me going long after I couldn’t and […]

8/21/2014 2 comments

Happy, Sad, Lost and Confused.

by NotReallyHereAtAll 3/18/2012

written by NotReallyHereAtAll

I have happy moments. Immensely happy moments. However, at the back of my mind there’s always that darkness there. It’s like I’ll be doing something great and fun and I’ll be feeling great, then I suddenly think to myself about whether I’m still desperate to disappear. The answer’s always ‘Yes’. That scares me. When I’m having a darker day, things feel worse, but it bothers me that even on my better days, I’d still rather be elsewhere.

I want to go back to when I never questioned my existence.

I want to laugh today without considering the tears of tomorrow.

I want to have good days unquestionably.

I want […]

3/18/2012 2 comments

Broken, Weak, Powerless.

by NotReallyHereAtAll 3/11/2012

written by NotReallyHereAtAll

I’m the good girl in my family. The smiling one. The girl who’s always offering to help out around the house. The girl my parents have never really had to worry about. I only ever argue with my sister, and I get on really well with almost my whole family. I’m the bright, spirited one. I have an opinion on everything, but I accept everyone. I’m the kind and loving girl and my parents constantly tell me how much I mean to them.

But that’s changed so suddenly.

In just a matter of days, I’ve fallen apart.

The thoughts have been there for years, but only now are […]

3/11/2012 4 comments