My life is hell. Â No, I’m not your average guy, and no I’m not looking for attention. Â I’m considering suicide. Â I love my kids, so I have found a way to get through today. Â My wife is driving me insane. Â We fight.. Â dirty.. Â I say things I know hurt her she says things to hurt me, wow how human.. Â however, Â I recant my mean and thoughtless words, and back up my recant with actions. Â I show her what I said is not true. Â On good days I chase her like a school boy and his first crush.. Â I love her madly.. Â she never recants. […]
Tag:
Intimacy
I’ve come around because everything has become too much. All I do is work all day to save meager wages that will do me no good. I come home tired to start my homework so that maybe I can earn a bit more cash someday. That’s my life: nowhere else to go, nothing else to do, no other purpose.
No, life isn’t about being adored, but all day, every day, everyone I come across looks down their noses at me and thinks I’m dumb, weird- just an all around loser. Even my mom. Each day ends and I cry because they’re right, they know me immediately. […]
Every damn year I have to endure this. It will be my 27th Valentine’s Day alone in 2 days… I don’t even know why I let myself get to this point when there is obviously zero hope and I never had any chance. I should have been preemptive and thrown myself off a bridge 5 years ago and then I would have saved myself from about 1825 days of emptiness and agony. I have been alone every single miserable day of my life. Telling myself that this is just another hallmark holiday doesn’t really work anymore, every year it is a brutal reminder of all my […]
Number one on the list…
Connor.
That name means so much to me right now, good and bad. I have this friend, I use the term friend loosely, we met at a party just over a month ago. Since we met we have text each other every day for most of the day and we see each other at least once a week, usually more than that. He is amazing. He makes me happy without having to do a single thing, just being around him makes me feel so much better about everything and I don’t know why. I like him and he likes me, but here’s […]
So, I’m going to be on therapy soon. For years I’ve been trying to cope with my past psychological traumas with heavy alcohol and drug use, had various sex partners I barely knew, nearly got killed several times, got injured heavily and got myself even more psychological traumas and now it seems they have reached their critical mass.
Worst is that I wanted to spray some positive graffity on the wall of my room and I googled “love” and ended up crying after seeing a whole lotta couples. But deep inside myself I am laughing about myself still being affected by my classmates making fun of […]
After 2 months I thought I got rid of the awful virus that is eating me alive but I shaved my pubic area and the warts came back with a vengance. I’m in constant pain. All I want to do is sleep to escape. In my dreams I am normal again; the girl in my dreams was not date raped by a scum bag, her innocence and her healthy body are intact. But when I wake up I am diseased, damaged goods. It doesn’t matter how attractive and fit I am because I am a disease carrier. I am destined to be alone for the […]