Why do I keep thinking of the consequences and guilt whenever I’m on top of a building or anywhere I could jump?
Having a drug-user(plus unforgettable hatred) father, unstable mother, brother with anger management issue, another brother with high IQ and a depressed girlfriend is hard.
And now I’m bitching on the internet about it. I suck.
Who am I?
I am close to 30, I am employed, I am appreciated at work, I love my mother, I have a somewhat understandable relationship with my father, I have 8 brothers and sisters, I have some friends, I had girlfriends in the past, I have a future.
From the age of 15 I felt weary of life, having a photographic memory and an IQ of 155, I know I can be whoever I want and do whatever I want. I excel in everything I put my mind to, but at the end of the day the only thing I wish for is to put a […]
I’m so tired of everything. So tired. A basic run through of my life is expected I guess so here goes. My name is Shawn, and I’m a depressed loser who’s 15 and lives in Texas. My depression started when I was a little kid. I was exceptionally smart, to the point of having the IQ of a genius. For this, I was constantly picked on to the point where I had to hide bruises from my mum. In addition to that, I was touched as a child by my stepfather. All of this combined to become clinical depression, before advancing into MDD, MAD, DID, […]
Hey everyone.
I am so unbelievably unhappy that words cannot describe the myriad of emotions (or perhaps lack thereof) which plague me with an intensity that is almost incomprehensible. However, I currently have the urge to try to do so for reasons that I do not know. Â I am not begging for attention, sympathy, or pity. I am merely using this post as an outlet for my own thoughts and emotions which I cannot express by any other means than by writing them down. Then again, perhaps I am subconsciously attempting to incite empathy, to offer others a glance at my own perspective with the intention […]
Many people think suicide is a solution. Just as many know it’s wrong, but commit it anyway because people JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND.
My reason to feel suicidal is I don’t know if I’m have the brains of a decent person.
Many say I’m dumb, stupid, idiotic. From people at school, at where I have to stay: my house. I can’t even call it a home anymore. People at school say “You don’t have the IQ of a animal,”. Even if I get something right, they still put me down, reminding me I don’t even seem to have an head. At my house, it’s even more horrible. I’m […]
Well it wasn’t until about a couple months ago that I found  out I had Asperger’s autism. In some ways it doesn’t bother me, in fact I like knowing so I can get help but on the other hand now that I know that changes some ways I see life. I was told that I might never be able to drive a car because of my lack of a sense of direction. Now I have always been afraid of the idea of me driving. To many risks. I know now that I can relearn things but even with years of therapy and being included in many social gathers […]
I don’t know.
I find myself every day saying this. I repeat this word alot. I’ve been living with the spectre of suicide since I was 8, I’ve hated life since then.  I saw my grandfather lying in the casket, and everyone was crying, I didn’t understand until I went over and told grandpa to wake up… he didn’t wake up.
Grandpa was just sitting there, not moving. I didn’t understand why he wasn’t getting up. I kept hoping he would get up, thinking that he was just asleep, but he was too still. In my little mind, I knew he was too still. I learned about […]
I am a Schizophrenic Depressed Sociopathic Psychotic Hateful Hated person, i feel like nothing good has happened to me in almost a year and i am lossing hope every day i sit in my kitchen with a knife shaking and crying i have no idea what to do other than the obvious. my therapist is an idiot my school is full of people with an IQ equivalent to their shoe size and all that is good in my life is my kitty but the suicidalism is still seeping through and is getting worse and worse and worse and i dont know how much longer i […]
I just registered for this site, like, literally five minutes ago, and I must say, I’m still a little overwhelmed that a website like this even exists (in a good way(I think)).
I guess I’ll just say it… approximately eight months ago, I tried to kill myself.
I’ve been struggling with severe clinical depression since I was 8 years old. The fact that I was considered a social pariah at school didn’t help matters. I have a recorded IQ of 145, but I was failing almost every class. I was capable of getting a 4.0, but I ended up graduating with a 2.6. I just stopped caring. […]
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