I have thought about this for so long now. Why should I complain about wanting to die? I have a pretty good home life, an amazing boyfriend, supportive friends, even a good life going for me.
But there’s this tiny side of me that scares me.
I have my parents bitting at each others throats, jerks who wantto talk trash about my boyfriend, friends who abuse my feelings, and all these bad traits I see in myself.
Who said life is perfect? Why do I have the right to want to die?
I do though.
I really Do.
I have lied to so many […]
Tag:
Jerks
I’m one of those ‘bad luck’ kind of girls. It’s easier to point to my LiveJournal, but I don’t know that it’s allowed since it’s adult-related. You can skip the story with this synopsis: I have  no family, my friends are in other states, my luck with men is horrible, I survived (if you really want to call it that) extreme childhood abuse that turned into finding jerks to replay it.
I spent several years of my teens homeless on the streets of Los Angeles dodging hookers, pimps, and all manner of foul person. I’ve never been arrested and got my stupid drug using years over […]
i dont get it. why. why is the world fucked, why do we have bullies, why do we have shallow people if omfg people could just be nice to everyone do u really think people would feel as worthless as they do? i dont think they would. why cant people have faith in everyone, why is this world fucked? maybe thats where the saying life isnt fair comes to play but what just cause life isnt fair we have thousands of people who feel worthless and the need to die? that is the most fucked up thing ever in this world! why do we have […]
Today was even worse I have this overwhelming desire not to live anymore. I passed a wreck I even stopped to see if everything was okay.. I got back in my car and cried because I wasnt the one who died in the wreck! I would gladly take the place of the other person.. I cry everyday more today then usual.. No one would care if I died my family would only be worried about their perfert image and what people would say about there daughter killin herself. My funeral would be filled with not close friends and a happy family but with people who […]
Sitting here in my dorm, crying uncontrollably, I find out that I have no true friends. They all just come and go, and stare at me in passing. I can hear them in the hall talking about me, hear them making all these plans that help them avoid me. I am so sick of it. I just want out. I just want everything to end. I just want to make them all happy by leaving their lives forever.
Noone realizes the pain I go through every single day. I have to live up to my two sisters who are amazing at everything, my “friends” never want to hang out with me because I don’t do drugs or smoke or have a life (out of school and sports). My parents just went through a terrible divorce and constantly fight through me, but /i can’t talk to anyoe about it because my one sister hates me and the other one is living her own life far away from my crappy life. My “friends” are all jerks and treat me terribley, but they are the oly […]
I fucking hate my job. i hate it with a passion. its part time and i dont make money from it. the people there are horrible i cant stand some of them i feel like they all talk shit behind my back. it makes my anxiety worse when i feel like this. i get in trouble for things i didnt do or “didnt do by policy” wtf? why does it have to be so friggin complicated? i get up every morning get on a bus to get there i come at least a half hour early. i clock in by myself on time, i stand […]