Taken from Robert Crumb’s Plunge Into The Depths Of Despair (1983)
And if anyone wants these comic strips in a PDF form:
I wish the world was like in my imagination. I’m on my computer all day and I like looking up random images, like this one:
and putting a positive spin on it. Pictured are guards from concentration camps (in case you can’t see the photo or don’t know their history, they are very mean people). But it’s nice to imagine that in reality they aren’t that bad. They are a group of friends hanging out, having guiltless fun, not torturing people or having bad thoughts on their mind… They’re not nazi’s, they don’t want to cause you any suffering… I like to fantasize that everyone in every photo is pure-hearted and dove-like, kind of like Jesus was said to be. In other words, I’ve built a fantasyland in my mind where this world is like “heaven” and there are no pains or suffering, everyone is a precious angel that loves you unconditionally and wants your happiness – we create our own paradise while we’re still alive.
I admit It’s childish. Even more childish is that I want to stay in that fantasy, I don’t want to experience the real world and It’s struggles. To earn money… My first job, the boss practically taught me the best ways to scheme people – extracting all the money in the world while giving as little as you can get away with. Searching for mates, competing for power… I am finally sick of that stuff. I was once selfish and ambitious, vain and egotistical, but that wasn’t really me… Nobody is truly like that, when we die all our desires calm down and we’re at peace. When you don’t want anything the world has to offer I see nothing wrong with leaving. In my heart I’m dead to the world, the body then follows.
I just felt like sharing this but I came here to read methods. It’s forbidden so I’m leaving.
Maybe there’s something better when you die, besides “non-existance” and freedom from problems. I’ve been reading near death experience stories and they all describe being conscious but peaceful, so perhaps there’s a heaven/afterlife and God makes us suffer on Earth so we can appreciate the peace of death. We can all try to be like Jesus, you don’t have to be a Christian to try and be sinless.
first off, let me start off by saying my poems are eccentric, absurdist and surrealist. Sort of if Salvidor Dali, my favorite artist, was a poet. But i poems also point out social issues and truths that adds crypto-humor to them. This one is suspose to be read like a military drill.
“Plight of the Native Americans”
PUT THEM ALL IN COWBOY HATS AND TEACH EM ABOUT JEBUS
TAKE THERE LAND FOR YOUR OWN GAIN, SPREAD IT WITH DISEASES
MAKE THEM LICK THE TRAIL OF TEARS AND DESCRIBE THE TASTE IN ENGLISH
NAME ALL OF YOUR STATES AFTER THEM, ONCE THERE TRIBES ARE FINISHED
The meaning behind this poem is very important. The first line symbolizes the attempted cultural control and christianization of the Native Americans.
The second line symbolizes the conquest and genocide of the natives
he third symbolizes the trail of tears and the utter disregard for there own way of life
the fourth represents the fact that most states are named after native tribes that once lived there
i ended with smallpox Jesus because the settlers to the new world wanted to spread the “good news” about Christianity, but instead spread smallpox and death.
I was thinking of committing suicide. But I try praying St. Jude Novena. All solved and I’m still alive 🙂
Try and pray Saint Jude Novena for 9 days..7 times each day 😉
“St. Jude, glorious apostle, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the name of the person (who betrayed our Lord) has caused you to be forgotten by many, but the true Church invokes you universally as the Patron of things despaired of. Pray for me, who is so miserable; pray for me, that I may finally receive the consolations and the succor of Heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings, particularly (ADD YOUR PERSONAL REQUEST HERE), and that I may bless God with the Elect Throughout Eternity.”
A “Solar Kiva.” An earth-shack, two States over from SoCal.
Can we survive the summer in Taos.
The UV radiation may be overwhelming.
There is nowhere to run. Somewhere to hide.
The moth smelled the blood. The blood.
Dead like the dead past. In transcendence.
Hell’s Satan is the root of our modern life.
Still small in time; the history of our modern human history.
Dead like the dead past. The crystal evolution.
The angels. God, the ancient alien.
The story. The cosmic-saddest, of all.
But our hearts, abyssal devoured. Our nature, a defect.
That is the story of “Man.” The devil has won since our beginning.
It was their last message.
God, was here; Jesus. God was an alien child. Small-humanoid and big cranium.
Terrified, a dimorphic and mutated freak-kind specie to the unacknowledged man.
Jesus was the last, he loved the world and gave it it’s last. Chance.
Beat-down to near-death as an oversize-elephant, you kept walking.
The cruelest of all, and pierce of death.
Beautiful, Jesus. They did to you.
That is the end of God, that ‘you’, speak of.
And so forth, into the dark emporium of those who held in narcissism, it which strives to genocide the alpha-one. Our history. I want to live, now, and be in the future.
It was in the house of 08′, when it began.
When I became the maximum recluse.
Suffering in ultimate hell, and still.
My portal of knowledge from the renown educational channels on DIRECTV, television.
Nostradamus was on, in my black-hole.
Get me out. The obstruction.
The magnificent torment. The regression.
The ‘iron-ball’ of hell. Dance with me, kill with me.
The blue water. The white flower.
Today, to the ‘Enchanted-land’.
Jet-fly with the Lexus.
Meet you there, plot our next move.
From that ground, seek back our sanity.
To escape the bloody-hell.
Chapter-one, “Defeat Radicate.”
To the beautiful, maybe a little up north.
We shall see, the expedition began.
The shake of hand, of Saint’Hell.
A Templar of holy. The beautiful little man.
The dot back to heaven.
I honestly don’t think we all come to this site to share a sad heart whelming story, but to try and let others know that someone does care. So, we participate on this site, we comment, and try. That’s all we can do is try right? Then you have the people who come here to make people feel worse then they already might be feeling. This is almost like a legit facebook for issue discussion. I’m not going to write your classic suicide note or ever judge anyone here, because I cannot say I do understand, but I can always try. I like to look at life by seeing things from other peoples point of view. So about two months back in my health class we had to make posters on some kind of health topic. Me being I, I did suicide. I honestly feel that suicide isn’t as talked about as it should be; bullying is such an important topic that doesn’t get talked about as much as it should. My grandpa committed suicide because he was sick and didn’t want to live life having someone wipe his butt or do things for him. Some of you will think that is dumb, but we understood what he meant and where he was coming from. People tend to commit suicide by thinking they won’t be missed or cared about. But if so much people could actually have a legit vision of what it would be like without them, they’d bawl their eyes out. Many people DO care, it may not always be who we want to care, but someone does. It’s hard to believe that when we’re getting bullied or abused or neglected. We tend to forget those who care. Suicide can be selfish because people don’t even stop to think what their children may feel, Â mom, dad, brothers, sisters, friends, or anyone else. It is better to have one true friend than a million fakes or bullies. Not everyone believes in God, but you can’t completely deny his existence. You do not wake yourself up every morning. You don’t not save your own life. We don’t give ourselves second chances. No matter what people thing, we’re not even close to being that powerful. Life would be meaningless if none of us faced challenges or got tired of them. Think of Christ for a minute, He never told a lie, He was Loyal, He NEVER did wrong or sinned; he was literally the definition of perfection, but he was beat and nailed to a cross for everyone to watch him die. None of our bullying in this lifetime could compare to what Christ went through. He died for us. That didn’t have to happen to him, but it did for us. God let his own son perish for us, and yet everyday we all fail him. He’s the one person in life that could ever truly understand us. Look what happened to his son. So don’t say no one understands, because God DOES. He lost his son. Jesus was severely bullied for being truthful. When you feel like hell and like giving up, DON’T lose your precious life thinking people don’t care because someone always will, and it’s hard to remember that others go through WORSE everyday. Like legit death, watching their own parents be killed, being set on fire, shot, or raped. It’s completely selfish if none of us take the time to think of others. So, when YOU pick up that blade, knife,rope, scissors, gun, or pills, remember who’s watching and understanding. God does feel your pain and he’s not ignoring it, but there’s only ONE God and patience is the key to your happiness. God cannot help you if you’re not willing to help yourself. We got to stick together and stop letting bullies win.
|“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it”.- Mark Twain|
“After your death you will be what you were before your birth”.Â – Arthur Schopenhauer
Jesus f***. Seraphim. Skull and the bullet.
Uzi’s and machine guns. Let me join the native tribes.
Get ready for Armageddon. F***, America. The world.
ThereÂ are no rules. F*** it in oblivion. Where do I go.
Get a pad off, somewhere. I have personal monthly income.
Somewhere beautiful, to go before we die. But where.
The skeleton does not walk. West minister, I need to get the f*** out of here.
Who the f*** is gonna give me a spot. The chance to feel oblivion.
Somewhere beautiful, but where. Anyone?
There are no miracles; I can’t get through this storm.
I can’t even leave my house (again) to do anything useful today. I am totally useless (completely). Perpetual limbo on repeat- between a dead life and death.
I’m that blue (brown) eyed whore. I am that little girl. I am her. There’s no one to help me through this storm.
Here is PJ Harvey on Autoharp, lovely version of Down by the Water.
I lost my heart
Under the bridge
To that little girl
So much to me
And now I moan
And now I holler
She’ll never know
Just what I found
That blue eyed girl
She said “no more”
That blue eyed girl
Became blue eyed whore
Down by the water
I took her hand
Just like my daughter
Won’t see her again
Oh help me Jesus
Get through this storm
I had to lose her
To do her harm
I heard her holler
I heard her moan
My lovely daughter
I took her home
Little fish, big fish, swimming in the water.
Come back here, man, gimme my daughter.
Little fish, big fish, swimming in the water.
Come back here, man, gimme my daughter.
I am a 23 year old girl from India… I am an engineer and I am doing my post graduation now… I have a loving sister, an over protective mother and a really nice father… they love me indeed but out of all the love they have for me, they just fail to see how screwed up my life is…
I was in a really committed relationship for almost 3 years… And itâ€™s been a year since we broke up… HeÂ was my first and I wanted him to be the only one… here in India SEX is everywhere but itâ€™s just a taboo when it happens out of the wedlock…
It does many times and when things go wrong itâ€™s always the girl at fault… you lose respect in the society and people look down upon you as if you have done the gravest sins of all… Family elderâ€™s relatives everyone..!! You and your family becomes a mocking stock in social gathering let alone you are invited to one…
I was bought up a vegetarian… But I learned to cook meat for my guy… I turned a non vegetarian for him… he was a Christian… and I am a Hindu… he never asked me to convert… but I thought that it is something that I have to do to prove my love for him… After all no matter if itâ€™s Jesus or Ram or Rahim… there is only one god… just different names…
But after 3 years of dating he said that heâ€™s dumping me for someone else… which I now believe was just a lie to get rid of me… 2 weeks after he dumped me, I found out that I was pregnant… I asked him hypothetically what if I was pregnant; he said he wouldn’t want it… I had just quit my job for higher studies and I was still living with my parents, I had no other way but to kill my child no matter how much I hated doing it…
My life has been hell ever since… my parents never knew about my little affair, and they forced me to live with my uncle (my fatherâ€™s youngest brother and his wife) throughout my 2 year PG course… My uncle and aunt found out about my Ex and me and snooped around to find out other details including the sex and the abortion… they mixed it up with other false accusations that I am on drugs and that I drink and smoke.. They topped it up with a cherry and told my parents that I am a slut!!! My parents confronted me and I denied it all including my ex…(I still live with the same uncle and aunt who told my parents)
Parental permission means a lot here and they are not even letting me move out… every day I look at these people I have to laugh at their stupid jokes and dine with them, knowing the kind of things they told my parents… if it was just my parents I would have been alright… they told other family friends and relatives too.. Every now and then I get calls from my distant cousins and acquaintances asking me if the things that they hear about me are true… it hurts the most when they ask me about the baby…
I have begged pleaded and even logically asked my EX not to ruin my life… to help me out of this misery… he says that wants nothing to do with my life and I have to face the consequences of my action… he asks me to hope for a future and to make a new ‘friend’… he is out there having fun, partying and sleeping with other people, enjoying his life to the fullest and here I am suffering., every one looking at me as if I really were a prostitute.. I cannot attend a family function without strange glances and lewd comments passed at me… the worst part is the despite everything that he put me through, all the pain and cussing and rejection, I still love him very very much and I wish and pray every night to keep him safe and only for good things happen to him..
When I met him first I was very popular in college…I had many friends…I was ambitious and wanted to excel in my field… now all that is left is a vague shadow of the person that I was… family reputation is quite important in Indian society.. 95% of the marriages are arranged by parents and they do everything to find their child a good match… My reputation is affecting my younger sister too… My mother is forcing me to marry her choice and calls me selfish when I decline… she says that I am being a road block in my sisters life.. I cannot tell her what I am going through… I just want to run away… I was a fool in love and now everyone knows about it… I just wish I could escape the judgmental glances and mocking tones…
Ps: I donâ€™t believe that getting in a relationship and getting married is the ultimate aim of life… but I have done much for my ex, risked so much, I risked everything for him that I donâ€™t think I can do the same with anyone else… I just donâ€™t think I can trust anyone anymore… I just donâ€™t think I can love and loose myself in any one the way I did with my ex… Every time I even remotely try picking up the pieces and decide moving on, I see my babyâ€™s face and it all goes downhill from there once again…
I bought what I thought was KCN form an online dealer placed them in gelatin capsules and gulped them down last night…I went to sleep hoping never to wake up again.. But here I still am… this seems like a only viable option… I donâ€™t want to be a roadblock in my little sisterâ€™s life…I want her to be happy… it been a very long time since I have smiled… I have no friends… the only wishes that I got for my birthday this year were automated emails from my bank and my email account provider… I am just fed up of fighting and being trying to hold on and hoping to be strong…
I never wanted my life to be this way.. Is there any other way out?? I am going to try partial strangulation tonight… if anyone is reading this post I wish you would pray for me to succeed in what I intend to do tonight…
I wonder where I would really go if were to commit suicide today…I guess I fear the unknown , I might’ve killed myself a long time ago if I knew where I was going…I don’t have enough “faith” to beÂ atheist or christian.But I do believe in ghosts , Once IÂ Â heard something whisper call my name or I feel like something’s watching me (especially when I’m alone)Â . And once I had this dream that I was in a dark place and I felt something reach for my stomach and then I woke up my stomach felt weird…
Anyway I think I should becomeÂ atheistÂ or christian but I don’t reallyÂ completely agree with christianity.I likeÂ atheism but what if god does exist then what? There are so many flaws with christianity so I don’t know…
I’m not sure what to think of NDE’s (Near Death Experiences) like when people say they saw an afterlife or jesus.I don’t agree with christianity mainly because I don’t think a hell should exist. I don’t thinkÂ immenseÂ eternal suffering is a good thing…
And some of the things considered a “sin” aren’t that bad.
If there is no such thing as hell then I’m happy 🙂
Lately my mother has been trying to take me to church. I’ve tried praying and going to church but in all honesty , Religion isn’t something I’m into. It’s just been a thing that people believe in ,Nothing more. On Facebook I like a page called ” Atheist English Girl” Where she posts pictures about religion and how she doesn’t believe in. I thought some pictures were funny so I liked it. She had posted a picture today about Marilyn Manson Saying “I like the bible , I like it as a book. Just like I like Cat and The Hat” And I thought it was funny . Also saw one where she quoted someone saying something like ” Who has ever prayed to satan , In the 18th century no one has payed attention to the sinner who needed us ” . I saved both pictures and I posted them . Now , Let me just say that you cannot argue with my mother . No matter what , She has caused me to be quiet. I can only type out my words now if I even try to speak them I cry and laugh. She posted “Take this down now.” and “Im telling you to take it down don’t tempt me” I took them down and as a joke I posted a status about ” If You do post your opinions on Facebook you’re crush won’t kiss you on friday at 12:00 sorry I don’t make the rules”. She called my aunt and my aunt passed me the phone. My mother ranted about my age and how I’m not an atheist . Never Had I claimed i was one. She then told me to get off the internet and so I did not. How do I respond ? Do I just agree and pretend to believe in Jesus and God when I don’t ? Do I start to become Quiet and never speak my mind? Or do I stand for what I believe in ?
Haven’t I done this before? Shouldn’t the shaking hands and bone aches and sniffly nose have stopped by now? I mean it’s been, what, seven months now? Isn’t that enough? Jesus. Sobriety isn’t worth it if this is what it comes with. I thought physical withdrawals were supposed to stop after a couple months. Does anyone know if it’s even fucking possible for them to go away and come back again later? Or is this all a mental ting? I don’t want to relapse 3 days before I graduate, so I would love to know if I’m just losing it or if this is just something I’m gonna have to live with for a while. I mean, I know I’m opium’s *****, but at least I can admit it to myself right?
I’ve been depressed for about 6 years. Â I’ve been thinking pretty much these thoughts throughout the entirety of that time period- the thoughts becoming more complex and clear or unclear as time passed. Â I’m 18 now. Â It has been especially bad this year getting ready for college. Â The thoughts of moving out and beginning the rest of my life are eating away at me. Â I never really thought I would get this far but I did. Â The fact that I’ve only been here 18 years is killing me. Â I’ve only been here 18 years. Â How can I possibly put up with 70 more years of this? Â 50 if I’m lucky.
Jesus, I don’t know. Â Do you?
I have no ambitions and there isn’t really anything I want. Â I hate the shit you have to do- go to school, get a job, ect…-in order to have whatever it is I’m supposed to want. Â I don’t want to get married or have kids or have a house.Â DefinitelyÂ no kids. Â I don’t see how anyone could force someone into life and all of the dreadful decisions and thoughts that come along with it.
I feel that The only reason I’m going to school and still working for my future is because I can’t mooch off my parents my whole life. Â If it wasn’t for my family and my fear of whatever happens Â after death Â I would be dead. Â I don’t really believe in heaven or hell or god, but I believe in the possibility of them. Â I believe in the possibility of anything really. I guess I don’t just hate life, I hate my existence.
I would never do anything to hurt my family, so even if I knew for a fact that death was a good way out, I would stay alive for my family. Â I say I love them but I don’t really feel anything for them or any of my friends for that matter. Â Apart from my brother at least. Â Maybe I do love them. Â I do enjoy them and have fun with them -family, not friends- Â but if they all told me they hated me or kicked me out or something I wouldn’t feel hurt. Well, I’d be upset about losing my brother. Â I don’t know why, but I never feel close to anyone. Â I never feel like IÂ trulyÂ care for anyone and I hate it. Â I want to love people and to be loved but I never care or feel like I do.
I never feel sad or happy. Â I just dread everything. Â I could probably count the things I like on my fingers, and even those things aren’t worth existing for. Â If Â I could choose to erase my existence- everything, my past, present, future, any memories of me, any god’s knowledge of me- I would probably do it. Â Assuming it didn’t hurt my family of course.
I recently watched a film called The Sound of Insects. The film really resonated with me because of the story it told. This guy was fed up with life, and he knew no body was going to come looking for him, so he disappeared into the woods and committed suicide by starvation. It took an enormous amount of will and the guy has to endure a lot of pain. He just sat there under a plastic sheet with a radio, a few books, and bed made of forest floor. I totally and completely felt for the guy, because I was the guy, to some extent I still am the guy. Lost, without hope, no faith left in life, not caring for anything life has to offer. Longing to move on to the next side. He knew a thing or two about Buddha, Moses, and Jesus. But he didn’t believe, I at least have that going for me, for now any way. I’m not positive that my faith is everlasting, but it’s here today.
What I really came away thinking about though was, that if that guy could endure all of that pain and suffering, just to die. Then I can endure all the pain and suffering of life. I can suffer through life if thats my fate, my karma, who am I to mess with that. Then again, if it’s my fate to commit suicide. Who am I to mess with that either.
But mostly, fuck it. All that suffering, and what does he have for it? Death? Perhaps there is something to be gained from living that cannot be achieved by dying.
here i sit without clean clothes, drinking coffee and without a soul in the world to care for me. I hate life and I have nothing to do with it anymore, but im unable to end it right away. here shortly in a week or so I’ll attempt to fix my mistakes however it’s going to be very hard to carry on as i will feel like i failed at following through with suicide itself. beating suicide isn’t an achievement once you’ve sworn up and down to yourself you will do it regardless of what happens for the better. my ultimate hope is that i make enough money to purchase the materials needed to finish what i began a few days ago. eliminating myself from the future. you can’t save me. Jesus can’t even save me, I’ts easier to reject him since I already know he’s real.
I do not understand, at all, what people enjoy about going out “partying”. It stinks of shit, cigarette smoke, stale alcohol, urine, sweat and garbage, it’s fucking loud, as in so FUCKING loud that you’ll go deaf and you have to scream in each other’s ears to be heard, it’s expensive, a rip off, a con, and you’re supposed to get drunk, and if you don’t drink you’re a fucking loser. And obviously – OBVIOUSLY – I can’t fucking dance so that’s hopeless as well.
And then to ‘cap the night off’ there’s some sort of obligatory purchase of a street food item, usually a fried piece of dog shit scraped off the road and served with radioactive ketchup. Now THAT’S what I call a ‘good time’ folks.
Jesus fucking christ I am sick of this. I walked out just now from a loud bar, barely said goodbye to the people I was with, and will never see them again. I just wish I hadn’t gone out with them in the fucking first place.
Fuck this shit.
i wish there was a delete button built into us. I was a bad mom, a bad grandmom and a bad wife. This life is full of so much pain. I have withdrawn from it. I am sad when i wake up in the morning because i have to go through another day. I am 62 years old. I was abandoned as a child and i have lived my entire life not belonging anywhere. I feel like a spaceship landed and i got off on the wrong planet. I believe in Jesus and in heaven. I want to go now. whatever purpose this life has served, I’m done with it. Why do people fear death? At least we won’t hurt anymore and feel so guilty for being such a failure in life. Maybe as fertilizer I can be useful. I wish i had a delete button so i could just delete my self, my life, my history………my existence
Between all the shitty luck of my life, I’m pretty sure happiness only finds me to remind me how much it hurts to have it ripped away.
I’m so stupid, so naive.
I fell in love with a guy, shocker, I know – someone wants to die because of relationship problems? Well anyway, I fell for this guy immediately… he fell for me too, his life was in shambles – custody battle with the ex, being sued by multiple people for a traffic accident – on the verge of losing his house.
But when we were together, everything seemed like it was going to be okay. We decided to have me move in, he couldn’t bear to be away from me, so in I went. Played the good little wifey, cooked and cleaned and helped him care for his child as if they were my own(without trying to step on mom’s toes).
Things started deteriorating very quickly, he wasn’t appreciative of anything anymore – he started getting mean. I got quieter. My world became all about helping him through this tough time, keeping him as happy as possible, just trying to help him find the bright side.
He started acting a little suspicious then suddenly asked me to leave, to go for a few days – luckily I still have my apartment for another month. A little time turned into him freaking out, he started talking about having me just move in as a friend… claims he doesn’t know what he thinks and feels, that his head is all over the place.
It’s been 5 days now, he has barely spoken to (or should I say texted) me… I had a few ripe moments of my own little freaking out, mostly because I’m in the dark on what’s going on with him… he’s been suicidal..er..this whole time.. the only thing that kept him from ‘offing’ himself initially was how happy I made him. Now he’s pushed me away and all I get is the occasional message that lets me know he’s definitely not doing alright.
I’ve tried SO hard to be strong for him, but jesus, I’m not. I’m not doing okay myself.
Going in for an abortion tomorrow (if you wanna leave a nasty comment about how I’m awful for disregarding the sanctity of life, I’d like to remind you that you’re on a suicide site. You don’t know me, my life or how this is for me; so if you feel like commenting on that, please first go fuck yourself)
I don’t know how I’m going to feel afterwards. I know the only reasons I’ve had for not -er- causing myself great bodily harm was that I was afraid of the doctors seeing cuts might not go through with the procedure and then other than that, I’ve been afraid of his kid seeing it. I don’t want to hurt him or his child, but I don’t know if I have anything worth living for anymore. I’m a little afraid that after the procedure tomorrow he’ll just drop me back off at the apartment all alone in this weird limbo he’s left me in. I’m off for days and days, I could do it. Nobody would find my body for a while.
I keep vomiting bile and blood. I can’t eat, drink or sleep. I’m about as stressed out, terrified and vulnerable as I’ve ever been… and I’m all alone.
There’s something about me, something that gets these guys to immediately fall madly in love with me – like they’ve never loved before, never connected like this before… then something suddenly makes them stop. They just suddenly realize they never loved me, they realize they were using me, they just want to be friends or that they want to go back to old ways – whatever it is, I am never apparently enough. Giving my all is never good enough.
This is especially crushing, even though it hasn’t officially ended yet, that’s because he’s been avoiding and ignoring me for the better part of a week.. this is especially crushing because this started out SO promising. The only 50/50 relationship I’d ever had, a connection so strong.
ugh. I just don’t want this. I was in the middle of a drastic change when there was a double-change, flipped my world upside down, now I can’t make sense of anything.
What’s to stop me? What hope is there?
it’s all ruined… I can feel it coming. I don’t mean to make the worst-case scenario manifest itself, but I don’t see how it’ll get better.