My sister let me move in with her, and she has her boyfriend who lives with her as well, and everything was fine when I first arrived. In fact I honestly thought it was amazing, I felt so free and wanted and I was happy. But then things just kept dragging on and on and today my sister came back home and told me that my actions have been hurting her boyfriend. I don’t mean to do any of this, I want him to be comfortable and happy in his home and I feel so beyond bad. I haven’t cried so much in so long. […]
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Laid Back
I have so many thoughts in my head right now that I can feel the weight of them pushing me down. There is so much going on at one time in my life right now that I don’t know how to sort it all out or how to even begin to deal with it. First there is all my friends leaving; I knew this was coming but for some reason in my sick and twisted world I had made myself believe that I had so much time to say goodbye and that summer was just going to last forever and no one was really going […]
There’s not a moment where I think about killing myself/committing suicide. I’ve already tried twice, but I couldn’t do it. I tried to drown myself in the tub. The water was just about up to where my head was at. I put my face/wash towel over my face so I couldn’t breath at all. Then I laid back in the water. I started thinking what if I really did just kill myself right here and now? Would anyone care? I’d finally be free of pain and torment. I doubt I’m going to heaven, if it’s even real. I’m an atheist. Just as I […]
Last night was really scary. I’m 18, I’ve had suicidal thoughts off and on for over a year now, but lately they are pretty relentless. Yesterday I was having them all day, I’m not even sure why. I also just relapsed with my eating disorder. Every day I either restrict calories or eat and then make myself sick. I threw up twice yesterday. When it came time to go to bed I could not think about anything other than killing myself. I started to drift off and as I did I started picturing everyone who knows me going to my funeral and reacting to my […]
I don’t know why I feel this way. I use to be a mellow, laid back person. I worked hard, but only if the benefits outweighed the costs. I graduated high school, got into a university. I did everything I was told to do and everything that was expected of me. My whole purpose had been drilled into me to get to college. Never anything else. Now I have a job and attend classes. No one even looks this way now. As long as I continue to work and take classes I am ignored. Until they want something of course. My father, does not even […]
Hi again^^
I really thought that the previous post would be the last, but due to some complications I wasn’t able to commit suicide by the sea, unfortunately. I have now started high school, and after just not even a week I already think it’s hell. I’m not bullied and people kinda talk to me, but many of them know each other since before or are just that good at making friends. I have really tried to talk to everyone and in the beginning I thought it went really well, but it didn’t take long for everyone to find just their “gang” to be with. I’m […]
Crying, I sat on the edge of my bed. 4 guys texting me, but all they wanted was sex. Â Surely I’d be used to it by now. I’m not a human to them, I’m a toy, easily replaced.
Hi, I’m a 16 year old girl. In a way, I feel average. I think every teenager goes through this depression of feeling unloved, unwanted, and ultimately rejected. I feel like I can’t handle it. Walking through school, i can hear kids whispering, “gross” “i hear she smokes pot” “You remember the time she farted in 4th period? so gross” “slut” “smells like poor”….. i could go on. […]
I live my everyday with a six year old who tells me she hates me, that I disgust her and tells me how to run the household. Sounds pretty normal for dysfunction aside from the spitting, kicking, biting, screaming and rage she throws along with it. You think she sounds defiant well that doesn’t even skim the surface, this has been going on for years and I’m exhausted and just tapped out. I promised myself I would never scream at my child or spank her because I had that from my father growing up and it had lasting effects. Nothing works with […]