I understand that it seems like I just want to kill myself or whatever when a guy is  mean to me, but that’s just part of it. I’m already right at the edge. I’ve gone through seeing people die since I was 4. I didn’t understand it then, but I did at 8, when my grandpa died. He died right in front of me. Of course, that messed me up. Then I only had one grandparent, because my other grandpa had pretty much disowned my family after the death of my grandma on my mom’s side (the death when I was 4). So all I […]
Tag:
Landlord
Alright, I know this is more of a suicidal story site, but I was thinking and I almost attempted suicide, so I guess it sorta counts.
When I was about 3, my mom and my dad were constantly fighting. My mom was sleeping with other men, after she was married to my dad, to try to get rid of him. She apparently hated my dad, and wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. She was on several drugs, (and according to my grandmother so was my dad but before I was born) and she had all sorts of health problems, one night she even passed […]
Everything today has gone to shit….
My brother just waking up and going to watch tv somehow got on my nerves
I had a credit card company call and leave a message
I had a bike stolen a while ago which was given to me by my landlord and she just asked where it was…. (least of my problems)
I lost a friend and I don’t know why… I just woke up and all of the sudden shes unfriended me…. 🙁 this one hurts the most…
I ruined my plant – I was trying to change the cycle to make it bud, covering it with a garbage bag, and now […]
I have been suicidal for probably the better part of 5 years and looking back at my life and where I am now I always ask myself “why didn’t I just do it then?” Nothing ever improves, I’m too much of a pathetic, fuck up to ever improve it. I realize a few people here will still say I have hope, but realistically take a look at my current life and take your mindset off of a suicide relief/help site mentality for a second. If any person in real life read what I am about to describe below they would most likely agree that there […]
I, for the first time in some time was actually happy. The stresses of life had finally been lifted enough for me to cope a little longer. I had a girlfriend, the love of my life, Jasmine. She’s my cousin, but now she broke it off today and I feel numb. My body and limbs felt weak, (similar to male orgasm where my legs feel weird, and now I’m numb. She said its weird that we’re related. But she still loves me.Â
I fell for her and I was planning on asking her to marry me in 2 years or so when she’s 18 or so. […]
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I should never have left my old girlfriend, I should have been a bit more grown up when it came to school. I shouldn’t have reacted when my father left my mother for one of my school teachers at the time. I should have just switched classes instead of throwing a perfectly good A grade down the drain.
Anyway 3 years later I’m living in a poor dump of a shared house. Paint peeling off the walls, thieving housemates and a crooked landlord. All my friends have left for University, something I once aspired to do. I’m out of work, […]
After giving up on Helium because I cant get a replacement flow gauge that I need for my bag setup and my local supplier of ******** was out of the cylinder size that I needed, (I have a regulator and flow gauge for N2 but my tank is almost empty) I have had to put my plans on hold for a few more days until I can get an exchange cylinder of N2.
After doing some serious research on inhaled inert gasses, I can see why so many attempts fail. It is not nearly as simple as books and internet pages make it sound. It is […]
As with most things lately a lot of shit is spoiling my plans for self deliverance but something happened a couple of hours ago that was more shit, but kind of funny.
I was in my basement cleaning an old M1 Garand Rifle that I need to sell to get some money, when I heard a loud banging on my door; no one calling just banging on the front and back door. I figured it was either my landlord or some other bill collector so I did not answer the door and just hid…as usual.
After a few minutes, it stopped and I went upstairs to the […]
Here I am trying to catch up on last minute details.
I had a fun time writing my own obituary and even put some humor in it. I am going to leave it in my home taped to my refrigerator along with my handwritten, live and dead wills. I understand that if you just type it out and sign it, the document can be contested. The same goes for DNR orders and suicide notes. You can write a short version of the note by hand for the police department, photocopy it and put them in separate envelopes. You can then type up a long version where […]
Well I think the time has finnaly come for me to step into the shadow of darkness
I’ve lost my job, I have no family or friends, no pets, no plants, no reasion to live,
obese and 54, no hope for tommarow, I’m broke, soon to be homeless, no sex, no loves, and when I pass no-one will notice till my landlord checks my apartment because I haven’t paid my rent.
Well it’s time
goodbye
Its always darkest before the dawn right? Where did the fucking Sun go?
by Stoshua18
written by Stoshua18
Well it’s been an interesting time in my life. I’ve spent almost 2 months of it in a mental hospital separated with a girlfriend of almost 3 years, mother of my third son who will be 2 tomorrow. Â Started a relationship with another woman who I have to say, I love dearly. Â I just don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I can’t bring myself to live a ‘normal’ life where I am a responsible adult and 9-5 and family one weekends. I left out in disability in December of last year about 3 months after FINALLY seeing a psychiatrist and being diagnosed with […]
I used to be happy.
When I was young I had the perfect family, and together we resided in a great neighborhood. We even had a picket fence(well, it wasn’t ours, it belonged to our neighbors, but still it was there, next to our house.) I did get teased a lot in school for being shy and for my poor fashion choices, but my happy life at home and the few good friends I had seemed to atone for all that negativity, so I wasn’t sad that often.
But then, in the year 2002 we could no longer afford to live in our house-the landlord had raised […]