So how goes the day. I have recently been on holidays (May 28th to June something) and within the first two weeks of being back I was in the hospital twice. Once I admitted myself. Only stayed there for 71 hours and like 50 minutes(few minutes before my 72 hour hold was finished, and btw I went in voluntarily and they still put me on a form), the second time was a suicide attempt. I stuck my wrist into SUICIDAL EXPLICIT CONTENT. That time though I went in voluntarily and they didnt put me on a form. Odd indeed. Anyways only stayed there for about […]
Heh,so I guess I really just wanted to say goodbye I guess, haha!
I guess it might be my “last cry for help” or something like that…?
Anyways, I guess I just needed to get it off my chest that I’m really leaving.
I’m scum and this is what I deserve, I had friends that helped me through thick and thin, but I couldn’t get over being depressed… I ruined them!
Mmmmm… I hope they don’t find out what I do, but at the same time I do?
It hurt like hell to detach from them and… after they stopped me from my last attempt they either know I can’t […]
Able to do less & less.  Was dx with SCA type 6 in 2002.  Can not take care of myself anymore.  Tired of the struggle.  My  last attempt was very very close.  Obviously not close  enough.
In reading the many comments here I am struck by the community of pain that we all share. There is strength to be found in this since it allows us to see that we are not entirely alone and that there are others out there who are suffering just as intensely. This is a comfort in many ways.
Over the past 2 years I have tried on no fewer than 4 occasions to end my life. After each failure I found a way to convince myself that “God wanted me to live”. I am now in the process of my 5th and hopefully last attempt. Rather […]
I know there are some greens up in here that would get depressed at the slightest challenges and confrontations in life.it may be about what the other guys in school call you,it may be about a broken friendship or a missing school bag,it may be about a seperated family or a horny pervert..the truth is that when those updates are made up in here,it is because this kids has no one else or no where else to turn to.maybe they needed the mature opinion of the adult folks up in here.whom they ve come to respect and look up to.please adult sp folks if a […]
I don’t want to be dead. I’m suicidal, and I recognise this fact. I think about killing myself the way other people think about what they’re going to have for breakfast. I don’t want to die, I just can’t face the fear and the despair that always return to my mind. It gets to the point where I can’t see any other alternative.
I’ve tried to kill myself a lot of times, 16 to be exact, and I’ve always failed. My last two attempts were definitely the most serious, and both almost ended my life. The first I ended up with multiple organ failure; the last I jumped […]
I don’t understand how I’m still alive. I honestly don’t. My last attempt wasn’t my first, it was my 16th, and I’m still not sure that it will be my last.
I would say I’m lost, but that would imply that I’m actually going somewhere; I’m not. I’m in this rut and I wish I knew how I got here, but I think it’s one of those things that creeps up on you.
So, seven weeks ago I jumped in front of a tube train. It wasn’t planned, I think I decided in about five minutes. I had previously thought about it, and I’ve been really close […]
I’m so sick and tired. Once again…..
….my last attempt was a failure. I’m a failure. I can’t keep going like this. I’m tired of meds, tired of the failures, tired of living.
I’m staring at a spot in my room that contains my exit strategy. I always kind of knew it would come to this. I’m ready.
I’ve lost my special person for me, I will never have another…nobody finds me attractive, I’m a loser with a shitty job that barely pays…I won’t live like this anymore. I’m tired of being the family washout.
It’s better this way. When I’m gone, there will be one less expense.
Ive been thinking of suicide lately and this is not the first time i have attempted before and failed, i really thourght i had got myself over the worst of it after that until recently. Me and my gf split after a long period of being in a kind of together but technically not situation after i messed up an hurt her (wasn’t the worst thing i could of done but it was bad) all the guilt of hurting the person i love the most has kickstarted my depression and i did try to deal with it but im getting nowhere, i dont feel like […]
Today I hit my tipping point into trying again. I will seek one last attempt for help with overcoming how I feel , but I don’t believe it will change the outcome i have planned. I haven’t been a large contributor here but have appreciated everyone’s posts.
I was watching a short youtube video and the lady described dying somewhere in it. She was being choked out in a terrible situation and she closed her eyes and after a while, all she saw was white and she felt herself slipping deep into her mind and she couldnt feel any pain and she had no worries she said it was like an escape from what was happening to her. She described it as if she were dying but i knew she was just passing out from a lack of blood/oxygen flow to her brain.
This made me think…being free from my situation and the pain I feel […]
This is the question:
I wonder where it will end should it be in the neighborhood park or a diff city and state?This is my story:
I have tried to OD on drugs at 15 years old I’m 47 now. The drugs was not enough to kill me plus they pumped my stomach. The state of GA took me away from the ones who would beat me and stomp me. I was in hospital for 3-4 days then I was put in a crazy house and stayed there for 6 long months. When I did get out I was placed in a home that the state […]
Once I had a dream that I had just made an attempt to hang myself and I was looking in the mirror and there was a blue and purple bruise around my neck. A little more than a week ago I made an attempt and I looked in the mirror after I cut the noose off and my face looked awful. My normal coloring didn’t return until a few days later — I had to cover up with makeup and even then it looked bad.
That last attempt was the closest I have ever been to dying. I passed out and my coming to was accidental, […]
Dead inside for a long time. Years. I want to go, but I can’t yet. Things get worse the longer I wait.
I only just discovered this site today and I’m comforted to see that many people think like I do about this subject. I guess I feel validated in a way…even “normal” in my thought processes about it all. Thank you for that!
I have two previous “attempts.” People said it was (I HATE this phrase) “a cry for help.” Actually I was too stupid to know that the drugs I used wouldn’t kill me and only land me in the hospital, […]
I’m 29, almost 30.
You could say, I’ve lived half my life.
I spent most of it depressed and thinking of ways to end my life…but little did I know, that I was destined for something great and amazing.
I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but I am telling you that there IS hope, and better days are around the bend.
I never knew my real father, my mother is an alcoholic, and I pratically raise five of my siblings from the time I was eight years old. I was molested twice, neither person was charged or convicted, so you could say my mother failed to […]
I never understood why people write letters before killing themselves. It always seemed sort of unnecessary and selfish to put the ones that stay under a letter apologizing why they did what they did because why did they do it in the first place? So I never understood why, until now. They write because it’s the last goodbye, it’s their last attempt to say they love who’s staying and they are sorry they couldn’t find a way out… They know it’s gonna hurt who’s reading it, they do, but they have to write it. It’s like when an old man decides to reveal his last […]
I’ve decided to get a tattoo. A ‘subtle’ reminder for myself of my last attempt. Not that I think I’ll be forgetting it anytime soon. I guess it’s supposed to remind me that the worst is over.
I designed it myself. It is obviously a “tree of life” like image. Hidden in the negative space of the foliage is the word ‘forgiven’, and hidden in the roots is the date of my last attempt.
Here’s what it will look like
So Im wrapping up my time with the last attempt at therapy (DBT),even did extra time. My last day is in a few days,and I dont have much support afterwards. I thought maybe I had found others (IRL) who felt like me,but now its all falling apart. Everything around me is empty,and I only have one meager trip to give me some light,but then I know its time to go. My birthday is in a couple of weeks,if it werent for this trip I would end it so that I didnt turn a year older.But seriously,after that…nothing has helped,Im still miserable and nothing can make […]
I’m 58 years old, working in Iraq so my wife could spend time with her sister and our nephew who died of brain cancer 1-Nov-11. I came here for her, for my family and stayed though I hated being away from my home and family, I stayed because they were proud of me.
Up until coming here in May-2011, the longest I’ve been separated from my wife was three weeks while she visited our son in Japan. She has wanted to go to Japan for as long as I’ve known her and when our granddaughter was born there, my son was in […]
My post probably won’t mean a whole lot because I do not know how to put my experiences into words. It’s simply not worth trying to end your life. There is so much to look forward to, even if you’re pretty bad off. Life is too beautiful and it has many things to offer. Don’t do what everyone else wants you to. Especially don’t do what society wants you to. Live your life for YOU and nothing else. I’m happy now because I have figured that out. I have tried so many times to end my life from OD’ing to slitting my wrists. None of […]