So my depression started when i was bullied severely in middle school and summer camp, people really don’t know how much this messes up a person. I became introverted and started thinking of my own death constantly at a young age , to the people that say it gets better i just have to laugh. Because now that I am older I found out that I am diagnosed with schizophrenia, and not to mention I am a 30 year old unsuccessful virgin that also has erectile dysfunction. It seems that God is just laughing at me just like the builles did when I was a […]
I realized that i was on the verge on bullying a member of this site. I know what it feels like to have a bad day and for some reason that day i just wasnt remembering. I gave someone a hard time for being a downer and I was ashamed. It really hit me when I noticed that when I have an especially bad day, any small event can push me over the edge. Everyday I browse this site looking for that person I bullied and I dont see their name. I can only hope that he’s left this site because he’s doing well and […]
I never know the right thing to say,
i never know when not to walk away
i cant ever cope or ever feel,
i want to find out what it means to be real
i could never be good, i cant ever be perfect
i wont ever know what it truly means to be worth it
ive took up space, and wasted to much
im the least valued in your valuable stuff
i was once your great accessory
now im a broken memory
im faded and old,im broken when new
im everything u ever wanted to use.
tossed in the trash, on the way out
the last straw, the last straw that burned down the house
im tired and […]
Please give me your best advice
I am a 33 year old mother of two, I was with the father of my son & daughter for 12 .1/2 years. I was 16 when we started our relationship. He was 10 years older then me and how I found out was though finding his driving licence as he told me when we first met that he was 21:- (26)was the truth Â even then he still tried to say it was a fake. I should of realised then what he was all about but being only 16 young and being my first love I was blind!! I […]
After everything, i hate myself more than ever. My boyfriend hates me, i have no mother or any family to support me. Today was the last straw, with my boyfriend taking everything out on me, I don’t want to be here.
But i’ve realised, i have friends that support and love me, and if they knew i was this low, they would be looking after me every minute of the day, the drink takes the pain away. But i can’t do it, i’m scared of anyone finding me dead
5 Years ago today is when I tried to ctb. I was 16.
The events around it that triggered it, I admit, were bullshit but my reasoning behind it was not.
I got home from school. the bullshit that happened was that I thought I lost a friend, someone I loved, due to some stupid shit that happened that I thought was my fault. I blamed myself for everything back then. That’s what triggered it. My reason behind wanting to die is that I saw myself as a worthless person who could never do anything right and would never amount to anything in life. I […]
I’m not sure how this works but I feel like venting. I’m 25 years old. People say I’m pretty but most of the time I can’t stand who I see in the mirror. I’ve beenÂ reading posts on this website over the last few days and I was surprised to see my thoughts and feelings expressed so accurately by random people all over. You know when people say oh everyone’s felt like Â that, like that’s suppose to help but this actually is kind of comforting. Anyway back to venting. I had a car accident this mornin and physically I’m fine but in every other way I’m […]
Reached the last straw today. Gonna do some self-immolation on the ex-wife’s lawn in the next few days. I’m going to get so fucked on coke and heroin that I won’t feel it. Just don’t give a shit anymore. So what if it “proves them right.” I’m sick of being homeless and I don’t want to go to jail. I can’t pay her anymore. The bank is dried up. Just going to take my life-long indentured servitude forced upon me by this great country and shove it up the establishment’s ass. They got nothing else to […]
I can’t feel anything because I feel all of itI met him 3 days after I moved back to seattle. And I have been with him since. But in the year that I have been with him I have hung out with friends 2 days. Other than that I’m alone all the time. And tonite was the last straw. I told him about me picking up my tanks Friday and he told me to shut the fuck up with my baby shit. I didn’t want to admit that he doesn’t love me. He used to like me and I make good money. Whowouldn’t keep around […]
I am doing this because there is a small part of me that doesn’t want to die. The rest of me is sure that this gun sitting in my lap is the answer for all my problems. Being born from day one with a debilitatingmedical condition is one thing but it time and time again hurting me holding me back, making me lame and weird growing up and a psycho into adult-hood is about all I can take. After finding my insurance canceled me as a client and won’t re-consider the same week I find out I am going to need surgery is the last […]
I had my first suicidal thoughts last Decemberâ€¦ Triggering factor? Have no idea. At first it was just ideas like Â«i think it would be much better if i was going far far awayÂ». After, reflections on life, death, sufferingâ€¦ images of deathâ€¦ images of my death in dreamsâ€¦ andâ€¦ afterâ€¦ images of my death when im awake, when i watch a movie, when i laugh to a good joke with friendsâ€¦ i see myself everywhere dyingâ€¦ for over a month nowâ€¦. I see myself hanging by a rope in the corner of my officeâ€¦ or injecting myself a high dose of morphin, which i […]
For anyone who read my earlier post, I took the advice and told her how I felt. In a word I was “rejected”. Now It’s far too awkward to go back to college and again life is pointless. Cheers for the advice but this was the last straw. I’ve finally made a decision I won’t be posting on here again. Thanks for all the advice people have given me since I first posted. Time for this hell to end. Hope you all find redemption somewhere. Goodbye x
never felt that life was so hard. Seems like everything i do is wrong. in the 2 years i have felt like this i feel as if i have lost everything, dropped out of school because everything got to me. turned to drinking cause it seemed like the easiest option,but since that decision life has gotton 50% worse. and as easy as it seems like to stop that goes okay for a while untill i breakdown over something again.. and turn to it again and go out and drink before work, then end up not showing for work. and im on the last straw with […]
the thought of falling asleep forever comforts my body. i despise to live and go to school with these emotions building upon me. my mother left two years ago and my boyfriend broke up with me last night. its come down to the last straw and i want to surrender to god. i want to give up myself and be gone. im 15 years old and im to scared to have to face life. people say “lifes hard” and i dont want to have to live through anything hard anymore. im scared of the future. im scared to have to get up in the mornings. […]
I am a college student majoring in engineering who is about to graduate in May. Â I have been feeling very suicidal recently because I just got rejected from two different jobs on the same day. Â I have been applying to jobs since August and have been a few interviews, but then have been rejected. Â I felt that these past two jobs that I interviewed for were kinda the last “straw” in terms of getting a job before graduation. I feel like a failure and I am not sure where to go from here. Â I feel pressure from everyone who expects me to get a job […]