I thought that was a good title. Anyways. Like Bloodhound Gang would say…” like my scrotum here it is in a nutshell”
(Ranting)
Blah blah blah…
Life sucks… whoa is me…
Yadda yadda,
Rhetorical questions….
Something else…
Self loathing….
More rambling…
For reference review this…
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Not purpose. not peace. I will get over this lust, this loathing that lurks by my mouth. lust of my awareness to get mixed with outside things, lust to get lost in memory. why, this self is not the real one, i have seen it. There exists a state where one is distant from everything and yet he can function genuinely and solve problems. Everything is complete and honest, no lie involved.
Its midnight. I’m sitting in the corner, wrapped in a blanket, trying not to cry my eyes out over nothing. Just because everyone else I know is happy, healthy, and in love is not a reason to cut. Just because I’m the only one who is fucked up isn’t a reason either. I love my family, I sometimes love my friends, but right now I don’t love me. And right now, I don’t think I’ll ever love myself. I’m worthless. Everyone else can figure their lives out, and I can’t. I will be forever in this frozen hell of self loathing
Excuse me…I seem to have left my pain laying around here somewhere..have you seen it? It’s black and fowl and twisted and I just can’t seem to hang on to it anymore! lol call me butter fingers if you must but it keeps on slipping away!! 😛 lmao!! Anyways..if you see it, it’s labeled “loathing of a lost and forgotten soul”. It might be walking around aimlessly somewhere here, just thought I’d check again. Let me know if you find it’s sorry little bitter ass! lol
Thanks! 😉
A lifetime of self-loathing… Self Rejection, Low Self Esteem, not knowing how to deal with hurt emotions nobody could understand cause everyone else was as heartless and shallow as I was… one thing my dad wasnt, was a emotionally mature Man… my dad would beat me with jump ropes, fists, bang my head against the wall… verbally, mentally and physically abused… then tell me to stop crying or he would give me something to cry about… i, as most boys, was taught that crying is a sign of weakness… hurt and fear manifests into rage… thats why I cut, thats why I drug, […]
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