Trouble, oh trouble set me free
I have seen your face and it’s too much, too much for me
Trouble, oh trouble can’t you see
You’re eating my heart away and there’s nothing much left of me
I’ve drunk your wine, you have made your world mine
So won’t you be fair, so won’t you be fair
I don’t want no more of you, so won’t you be kind to me
Just let me go where I’ll have to go there
Trouble, oh trouble move away
I have seen your face and it’s too much for me today
Trouble, oh trouble can’t you see
You have made me a wreck, now won’t you leave me in my misery
I’ve seen your eyes and I can see death’s disguise
Hangin’ on me, hangin’ on me
I’m beat, I’m torn, shattered and tossed and worn
Too shocking to see, too shocking to see
Trouble, oh trouble move from me
I have paid my dept, now won’t you leave me in my misery
Trouble, oh trouble please be kind
I don’t want no fight and I haven’t got a lot of time
I dont think anyone can hate me just as much as i hate myself . ive been rejected so many times for so long i honestly end laughing at myself because idk why im putting up with . i dont even know why i continue to look live with depression . someone that is alone like myself will never beat depression or ever find someone to care about me. Sometimes i just sit and imagine to myself how my life would be if i wasnt alone depressed or being with someone special to me but reality is always outside of my mind .im finally begining to wear down. Idk whats the point of my existance . idc if i overdose , kill myself or die in anyway i have become almost immune and numb because if anything happen i think i could be in peace or in hell but idc cus if god Is the one making me suffer why the fuck should i want to see him . i dont have anything to lose except my reality, loneliness and depression. Heres to hoping god finishes me off and ends this cruel joke i call my life.
I have like to have to die this world is to hash for to handle. When I think of way to die or kill myself, I laugh as if all my pain is freed from my soul. I ask anyone out there is this good?
I remember the time when you used to call me beautiful
It was a time when I was truly happy
There weren’t empty tears at 3 A.M. and hopeless wishes
I remember the time everything black and white turned grey
It was when you two would fight and loveless tears ran down your cheeks
Suddenly you left, you didn’t call, and you didn’t return for a while
I remember when you were there for me
It was around the time I went to seek help in the ocean
I sank to the bottom and struggled to come back to the surface
Years have passed and you now know how much I struggle
You stay at the shore building your sand castles while I am swallowed by the ocean of emptiness
I can’t help but think that if I were to drown in this ocean
That the waves will stop crashing on you and your castle walls will stand strong
But, we both know that your castle will just remain empty
Like it always has been.
He called my name
I walked away
Now im wishing i would have stayed
We walk around
Both looking at the ground
Scared to catch the other staring
But we both move on with out a sound
Remember the first night we kissed
I hope im not the only one who misses it..
I’m stupid for still loving you
My hopes are childish like i am
1 year younger, worlds apart
Here i sit with a broken heart
You said you wanted to ask me somthing..
Now im wondering what
But i lost my chance to hear it
By my own stubborness
For loving you
More then you could ever love me
Sorry for falling
I guess this wasnt my calling
But when i cant stop thinking about it
Two months later
Cant move on
Stuck in past
Holding onto the last moment with you
I wish i never asked what was wrong
But i knew it was coming
I knew it all along
“i dont feel the same way for you anymore..”
I should have fallen
died right there
but im not that lucky
said it was okay
Walked away slowly
As I fell away
I made it to class
Threw my stuff down
Tears streaming my cheeks
No one said a word
A few even laughed at me
I stumbled into the bathroom
Falling into the stall
I pull out my razor
With little strength at all
I cut for all the times you said i love you
Yes im one who counts
Bet you didnt know that either
I lay their bleeding
On the bathroom floor
Wishing i were dead
People walked in
They walked out
45 .. no one came
I wanted someone to find me
Tell me it was gonna be okay
But an hour came and i stood up crying
And cleaned the blood from my thighs
I wiped the tears away
Recovered my eyes
Taking away the black circals
From days with out sleeping
My fears tearing my apart
I smiled my best fake smile
And walked into the hall
It was all i could do to make it to class
No one asked
No one cared
I sat down
I took my notes
The bell rang
I walked to my next class
Passing you by
You smiled saying hi
I smiled back
Would you have guessed
There was 172 cuts on my legs?
All from a simple lie
Now im here alone in my room
Wondering what your last words were
But i ignored them
Trying to act strong
Like hell i could move on
I guess i’ll be guessing
While your messing with someone else
I guess i was just another girl
Who you probally wont even remember
This is about my x tanner you can read my other post to find out our whole story..
I have no idea what to do. I just need some help, I guess.
So, here’s my story.
I’ve been battling depression & anxiety for 7 years now. I’m sure I’m not unique here.
I’ve also been fighting Interstitial Cystitis for 3 years. Basically, my immune system is trying to kill my bladder. I’m in constant pain. It feels very similar to giving birth. I can’t deal with the pain anymore, and there is nothing the doctors can do to stop the disease or the pain.
I just broke up with my boyfriend of nearly a year a few weeks ago. Not a problem. We just didn’t get along anymore, and it was my decision. No biggie. The problem is that he has a new girlfriend, and I’m here alone. I don’t want him back, and I’m happy that he has moved on, I just want to know why he got a new girl so quickly and no one seems to want me for anything more than a fuck buddy. (Which I do NOT do.) Lots of guys just want to get their dicks wet, but I want a real man in my life who loves me for me. Why does he deserve that and I don’t? I’m not ugly or anything, I’m actually a pretty good looking girl. Still, no one wants me. Why am I not good enough?
I have just been feeling so hopeless. I only have 1 friend in my life, but she is amazing. The problem is that she has lots and lots of friends, works 2 jobs and has no time for me. So, I’m always alone. I’m a college student, and my workload is intense. Most of the time i cant handle it.
So… I’m lifeless, loveless, and in constant pain. My mom tries to help, but i’m just a burden to her. I really just feel like giving up.
I am not looking for help, for words of pity. Nor do I want to be lied about a diety that “loves me” and has a plan for me. I have a plan: end my life.
I have not found the right method and appropriate time to end my mysery. Reason? I am sick of getting rejected time after time after time. If someone was to observe my life from utside in a thumbnail, they would think my life is enviable. I get to travel around the world, have a decent salary, get to spoil myself doing whatever I want. Right.
I am 31 years old and I have yet to have a real relationship with anyone. I am hopelessly romantic and all my life I’ve longed to be in love with someone who loves me back! Life has not EVER given me a break when it comes to love. My love life is unbelievably pattetic and laughable. The funny part is that I am constantly told that I am such a great catch: strong and beautiful and smart woman who has endured so many challenges in life.
Well, I have a soft spot. I do not believe there will be anybody for me anymore. Of course I get hit on, but I do not like any of them (and that is 2 or 3) I came to believe that maybe I was cursed because the things that happen to me that screw up any possible chance to be with the person I love.
I can’t really think straight right now but I felt I needed to vent a little.
For a while, a tried to convince myself that I did not need anybody in my life to fullfill it– and that is true. No one can make you happy but yourself. However, this mantra does not apply when you are hopelessly romantic and sexual and there is nobody around. I also tried for a while to just “enjoy the moment” and simply have sex with no strings and no feelings attached, but I wasn’t even successful at that!! I even get rejected by losers! This is crazy…. ! I am not a weird person. I do not do psycho things to them at all. I do not understand what is going on. I give up.
Everyone at some point in their lives wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world and that nobody loves them, or worse will never love them. That they will wander blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping either inwardly or sometimes even desperately, that their life circumstances will improve, but fearing that it might not. That they will remain unloved forever or always struggling in existence.
The best thing to do in these situations is wake up, and realize you are â€˜actuallyâ€™ just (day) dreaming of a future.
I say go out and make one â€¦.
History has shown us all too often the consequences of dreaming poorly or not at all. (Jeff Vandermeer)
Afterall, all men/women of action are dreamers….whether we create poor dreams or good dreams, gods or devils, these are more a reflection of ourselves then anything else.
Dreams have only one owner at a time ~ you. Make them better ones.