It’s taken me my whole life to realise that have never been “happy.” I was never happy as a child, tween, and now into my teenage years, my sad feelings have developed into anxiety, anorexia, self harm, and suicidal thoughts. I turned to drug use and alcohol. I still smoke and drink a lot. I have these sleeping pills and sometimes I just hold them and think about how easy it would be to just go. I am disgusted by my body and spirit. I think sometimes, it’s not worth living if I can’t even love myself. I have been trying to like […]
There’s no way to describe my depression, hurt, rage, and emotional pain. So many people have hurt me, turned me away, and just treated me like shit. I can’t fucking take this anymore!
I don’t care who the fuck gets traumatized as they witness my death in a busy mall or airport. I WANT THEM TO BE TRAUMATIZED. Fuck you, society! I hate this lousy, Godforsaken planet, and everyday, I hope that an asteroid or nuclear war wipes it the fuck out!
I also don’t care who the fuck misses me. They won’t be my fucking problem anymore. People don’t give half a shit about me, so […]
Today I attended the funeral of a family friend, she was 22 years young and she had taken her own life on the 8th of august. I didn’t know her very well, but anyone could see she was very naturally beautiful with a contagious smile and an infectious laugh.
She was well known and well loved by so many people, all I’ve heard is how amazing she is, how she was free-spirited, selfless, caring and kind. I heard how much she loved people, music and how devoted she was to her family and friends.
I heard she was a beautiful, bubbly, spiritual and loving young […]
The title sums this up very well “Fucked UP” that is how I see my self and how my family and others view me a lot of the time, but we will get to that later. So im new to the site and just out of luck today before I made my final choice I decided to post a small post on here. For both advice and to see what others think. Im a 17 year old male who is: failing school (for two main reasons: one im lazy and two I view myself as stupid or dumb) I also have no job, no car, […]
To whom ever says they know me
If I didnâ€™t want to live
Here is what Iâ€™d give
Iâ€™d give the breathe that fills my lungs
The food that will taste sour to my tongue
I would give the wayward mind I have
The undecided and unknown path
Iâ€™d give up everything
If I didnâ€™t want to live
If I didnâ€™t like humanity
Understand without unnecessary pity
We are overly selfish and dramatic
Obnoxiously annoying and spastic
We dwell to long on things I want forgotten
Too many people assume how Iâ€™ve gotten
If I didnâ€™t like humanity
Perhaps I didnâ€™t want to live
If I didnâ€™t like myself
Here is the basic line up on the shelf
I am pudgy to others […]
Being happy occasionally is starting to be a part of my life. It’s hard to think last month I ended up in hospital after trying to kill myself. I overdosed on Paracetamol. It was incredibly painful and didn’t work. My little brother saw me in hospital. I wonder how he feels. I didn’t want him to be there. My dad brought him down. My mother and father are splitting up. I worry about my brother a lot. I broke up with my boyfriend who I had almost been dating a year. Now I’m scared to have another one again. I have some amazing […]
Ever since I was a child I was always so sensitive.Â when I was four I was run over by a bycycle and spent 4 hours on the operating table with a plastic surgeon them sewing my face up. Â When my mother died when I was 8 I did not speak for a year. My father sexually abused me one year after she died after hitting me to make me scared. My father had seven strokes when I was 18. I went to therapy and never really did drugs or do not drink or smoke you could say I have my life together. but […]
I have hurt so many people lately that I can’t take it. I hurt a girl I fell for because she didn’t realize that admitting your love to someone doesn’t mean your in a relationship. I hurt her when I started dating an amazing girl named Julianna that I realized I love even more. I just don’t know why I hurt people so much on accident. I feel even worse than I have ever felt. I am cutting even more than ever. I just don’t know what to do our how to stop hurting others. I am tired of causing pain which doesn’t just hurt […]
I haven’t been diagnosed with a bipolar disorder but i am sure that i have it because it is impossible to have so many shifts of moods. It just isn’t normal. I am such an emotional brat. I can’t stand things going wrong. I had such a good week and experienced wonderful things and met so many people on this festival and now i am back to reality and to my responsilities. I just became so sad in one moment and now i feel so helpless because i can’t remember anything good to keep me on the righ path.
I am so mad at myself […]
â€œSuicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me: I quit!’â€
â€• Bill Maher
â€œWhen you’re young and healthy you can plan on Monday to commit suicide, and by Wednesday you’re laughing again.â€
â€• Marilyn Monroe, My Story
â€œWe cannot tear out a single page of our life, but we can throw the whole book in the fire.â€
â€• George Sand, Mauprat
â€œWhat’s the big fucking deal? Lots of amazing people have committed suicide, and they turned out alright.â€
â€• Emilie Autumn
â€œI simply wondered about the dead because their days had ended and I did not know how I would get through mine.â€
â€• James Baldwin
My mind wanders all sorts of dark places. It’s like life is never going to change. The fear of death is only because your attached to something or someone. I have someone. I don’t fear death though. I learned that fear is just in your mind and it can go away. I canÂ disappearÂ and the world keeps spinning. My death will only define who I was. Although I want people to remember me as happy that would just be lying to themselves and that’s useless. I don’t really regret anything right now and I want to die in peace and I feel like this is the […]
To whoever is reading,
I give up. I’m a 19 year old, white, lower middle class, agnostic, who lives in California and I am killing myself on February 12th, my birthday. I’ve felt this way for several months and had thoughts of suicide for years. I already decided how I am going to go. I just felt like telling someone. I attempted suicide just over a week ago but was talked out of it. This time I won’t be.
I’m an exconvict on parole for possession with intent to sell. I’ve hurt so many people. Especially the people closest to me. This will hurt them […]
Well.. Hello fellow people on here. I guess we’re all here for the same reason. Because we’re alone. Clearly none of us have anywhere to run to in real life. So we search for it on the Internet. Where anyone can be who they want. Where we can all hide behind a mask and not be ashamed of who we are..
Well, anyway. In ash. Well that’s what I go by anyway.
The point of this post is to help anyone in need. I promise I am good help and will listen. I actually plan on majoring in psychology when I go to college in […]
Somebody in my philosophy class last semester suggested that maybe life is hell. She said, look at all the suffering and pain, doesn’t it seem sort of hellish the things that so many people have to go through? I didn’t know what to think then but now I believe her. This feels like hell, it hurts like hell. The emotional pain I have experienced as a result of depression is absolutely indescribable. There are no words. The feeling of wanting to die is so strong at times that it terrifies me. I know I am capable of acting on it. But I can’t, because I […]
Many people think suicide is a solution. Just as many know it’s wrong, but commit it anyway because people JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND.
My reason to feel suicidal is I don’t know if I’m have the brains of a decent person.
Many say I’m dumb, stupid, idiotic. From people at school, at where I have to stay: my house. I can’t even call it a home anymore. People at school say “You don’t have the IQ of a animal,”. Even if I get something right, they still put me down, reminding me I don’t even seem to have an head. At my house, it’s even more horrible. I’m […]
Why does it hurt so badly when you breakup with someone you love? It seems like many people contemplate suicide after a breakup, but the reality is that breakups are a part of life and you just have to accept it and move on. Younger people especially, seem to be more affected by breakups. Though when you lose the love of your life, it really hurts and can be hard to move on.
I’ve always lived my life for others……… Its hard to keep doing after 22 years of it……..Â I tried to kill myself last week by jumping into a lake in the middle of the night……….. I was hoping I’d freeze and die…………….. but I didn’t…………. I realized I had done everything I had planned to do in my life……………So why can’t I be happy with it?Â I have a 3 year old son now………….. I saved my husband when I met him from ending his life……………. and I gave him my life………… I try to give him everything and anything to make him happy because […]
I went for a walk tonight and it occurred to me that maybe there are just too many people in the world. Maybe somehow the universe just created too many people and some of us are just not needed. Perhaps I am one of the people that isn’t really meant to be here. I really am unwanted. I have no friends. Yes, I have people that I talk to at work, but no real friends. I am 37, I work in a professional job. I don’t have kids. I have been in a relationship with a man for the past 7 years (we don’t live […]
Depression…It can come to anyone but that doesn’t mean it comes to everyone. It doesn’t just HAPPEN like that either. If you’re depressed, there’s a reason to it and it’s not something silly or stupid, it’s actually quite serious.
So that means all the people telling me that I’m looking for attention are wrong, and that something has happened within my lifespan to cause depression in my life. I’m not being an a**hole, attention-seeking or anything. I’m actually depressed.
But then there’s no cure to this. No-one to talk to around me, those whom I CAN talk to are far away, nad many people […]
school is going to start, it’s going to be a sudden change of pace… reading, always reading… so many people… memorizing stuff… I may not have to post anymore… it’s interesting to have gone through this in this way… i’ll be back but who am I?
I’m sore from trying, I’d rather be sore from doing… my head hurts on and off… 2 more days until a new year… will I be able to do it? will IÂ finallyÂ make it? I tell myself I’m strong enough… I do… I believe I’m ready to do this… Time is crawling…still I wonder, am I worth making this memorable again?