I’m 19 and I’ve had mental health issues all my life. I’m dumb and lazy, I’m not very good in school. Well I used to be, I was home schooled, but it sucked because my mom is kind of a shitty parent and an especially shittier teacher, but I’d teach myself things and read all day never going anywhere. I didn’t really have any friends and the one’s I did got ripped away from me or beat me up or spread lies about me. I only really knew christian people in the hack job of a church we went to. I convinced my mom to […]
Does anyone know anything that will send me into a deep sleep? Not those pills that “relax you to ease you into sleep” I want a heavy sedative.
Behaviors: depression; no motivation; unable to be stimulated; hypomania; anxiety; inability to focus.
I’m in a healthy state of mind approximately >1% of the month.
Current medications and past treatments: Geodon, Seroquel, Klonopin, Adderall, Trintellix; received TMS
I’m rapid cycling. If I’m not depressed I find myself to be either slightly hypomanic or fully hypomanic. I phase through having motivation and not having motivation; in either case because of the recurring depression or hypomania I’m unable to pursue stimulating and impassioned ideas or activities that I know from the core of my being would make me a happy and mentally healthy person.
My teenage and young-adult life were filled with passions […]
I am a 14 year old teenager, depressed and suicidal. I know this may sound stupid but does anyone know any pills that will make me pass out if I overdose? I am not exactly trying to kill myself, just a way of revealing my pain to my parent without having to actually talk to them, but let’s just say I wouldn’t care if I died overdosing.
I know I will receive lots of “don’t do this” “you don’t deserve life” and “you’re worth it” but I don’t believe any of that. I hate my life and myself so much, I don’t think anything or anyone […]
I’m just wondering if anyone has ever had any success in getting this , via mail or over the border etc. if this post isn’t allowed you can delete it , but I want to go out a foolproof way , I don’t want to end up a vegetable or a dribbling mess. If I can’t even kill myself properly , even that is more depressing than the life I have now.
lately, i am scared of myself. terrified of the idea that i’m not even sure anymore what or who i am. Â i find myself looking at my hands, my arms, my wrists and i feel like this is not me. that somehow, the “me” got lost in all of this. and i look back at pictures of myself as a kid, and i cannot connect with the person i am meant to be. not even in the pictures of my childhood i am smiling. i honestly don’t believe i ever experienced the feeling of “happiness” . sometimes i have no emotion at all, but there […]
I was watching T.V and a commercial for anti-depressants came on…..It said how it could help you…blah, blah, blah but then something made me think; the blatant irony ….” side affects may include nausea, vomiting or the increase of suicidal thoughts in children, young adults and adults”….Sooo this medicine has a risk to make people more suicidal than they are now….. but its supposed to work against depression? Its not guaranteed to work but it has a risk to fuck you up in the head even more? On what planet does this make sense? Hell, they might as well give you a gun with a […]
As of right now, I’m at the bottom of the pit. If you look at my charts, I should be doing okay. But I feel so utterly depressed. I haven’t smoked weed or cigarettes in a month, and I’m not abusing my medicine. I’m also seeing a therapist and have hung out with my friends more often. Well, my clean friends that is.
Of course there’s a dark side though. I started drinking again. It’s not a lot, but I know it’s not good for me. Honestly though, if I don’t have a piece of the old me, I fear I’ll go insane. The thing is, […]
Just now. It was over something really stupid, a game with my younger sisters. I was pretending to be asleep, they were trying to wake me up. Dad asked if we wanted to go to the pool. I didn’t, so I kept pretending. They mocked me, called me rude, and said they knew I would move from that position as soon as they left. Harmless kid stuff, really. But as soon as they left, I just started crying. I knew I was going to lose and I just didn’t want to lose. I looked for ways to ‘get revenge’ I found none. I took a […]
I had never heard of this sight until tonight. I saw a friend post about it on Facebook & instantly thought that it was a sign.
Let me just begin with a little bit about me. I am 18, I live in a town I hate, & I hate most people. I’ve never really blogged, but I’ve always wanted to. It really helps me to write & I need to have a way to calm myself down. I really don’t know how to explain myself because I don’t really know who I am anymore. I don’t want to hear that I’m too young & that I […]
Last week I found this website and thought it might help to get all my feelings out because I kind of hold them back. Actually I hold them back a lot. For some reason I started to not sleep again and I know when I don’t get sleep things get bad. But they haven’t gotten this bad since my suicide attempt last year. I don’t know what I was doing but two days ago I just started taking some pills I had. My boyfriend could tell something was wrong and said he was coming over by the time he had gotten here I had taken […]
I’m gonna put a hole in my T.V. set
I don’t wanna grow up
Open up the medicine chest
I don’t wanna grow up
I’d rather stay here in my room
Nothin’ out there but sad and gloom
I don’t wanna live in a big old tomb on grand street
When I see the 5 o’clock news
I don’t wanna grow up
Comb their hair and shine their shoes
I don’t wanna grow up
Stay around in my old hometown
I don’t wanna put no money down
I don’t wanna get a big old loan
Work them fingers to the bone
I dont know why, but i want to kill all the people around me.
Even my family, i love them but, i really want to kill them.
I dont know whats happening whit me, am i crazy?
I feel empty. More death that alive.
I cant feel anything. I not even smile or cry. I feel cold. Empty.
I have try anything. Doctors, medicine, therapy… nothing helps.
I just feel all this fucking needs of blood and death.
Can somebody help me? Please!?
So I’m seventeen, 17, just graduated from high school. I’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts for about 4 or 5 years now. I attempted suicide in 2011 after I was hurt by someone who meant the world to me and I regretted everything. I’ve started up counseling since May 10 this year and have started medication but I still have depressed days and days that are hard to get through. I feel like nothing helps. What broke me is I had a nervous breakdown a few days before I started meds and going to counseling and nearly ended it. I have a box filled with […]
This is my first time posting on here, and I would like to read some first hand accounts of hospitalization after a suicide attempt, or being hospitalized for threatening to do so. I would like to know whether you feel it helped you or made you feel worse. Were you diagnosed with a mental illness and do you still want to kill yourself?
Bought components for helium bag online last fallÂ (live in a small town so it was easier to find online). I suppose I was acting a little too disconnected from others and my boyfriend caught on before I could summon the courage to […]
First things first here in the UK its exam season.
So my friend had anÂ exam today: Biology and considering he wants to study medicine – well psychology,Â it was really important for him to do well. I asked him yesterday if he felt prepared for it and he said he “barely knew any of the content” – but he always says that and goes on toÂ get 90% on his papers and so I pushedÂ the commentÂ aside.
After his exam today I asked him how he thought it went and he said “SHIT”. Again its something he always says when he finishes exams and so I began to push […]
For the past few months I have read the posts and posted myself on this site. Â Every day is the same for me. Â I think suicidally but then I’ve made it 40 years and have family thats suffering around me and I want to help but the suicidal thoughts persist. Â But than after a few months I get lucky and score myself a 20 bag of weed. Â I smoke a little and suddenly everything changes. Â I feel even deeper sadness for those that I love that are suffering but I feel like I can deal with the loneliness of not ever really having a partner, […]
Those with chronic health conditions driving you to suicide. What’s your disease? Psychiatric diagnoses counts.
Me: Â Chronic mercury toxicity not helped by modern medicine because they don’t recognize chronic mercury poisoning as a serious disease.
Today has been better than yesterday was for her. No yelling, no fighting, no hurtful words were propelled at her.
Last night was rough on her. She had to meet her regulars, some nice, some not so much. There was always those men who were very aggressive and since they were paying they felt entitled to anything they wanted. The girl would stop arguing after the first hit, she would stop resisting and let herself float into subspace waiting till it was over. The girl would awaken withÂ noticeably blackÂ bruises up and down her arms, her neck, and down her legs.
She is afraid to go home, she […]