Welp so last week I got into a fight with one of the people from the old group of friends. They still haven’t said anything to me since then, so I assume we are no longer okay with each other…. Now I’m just down to two people and only one person that I see daily, which is probably going to end soon…. I really don’t want to go back to never talking to people again…. Also the quarter is over in a month, and that marks the end of a series of class that I’ve had for 2 years now, which means the people I […]
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Meh
Welp today is my Birthday, also the day that very long ago I planned to kill myself on…. So far only about 3 hours in and it’s not going very well. I feel like I’m breaking a promise to myself if I don’t at least try, but I know it’s not an ideal time to do so. My father is dealing with a lot of things right now, and he doesn’t need to deal with this, also I can’t guarantee that my cat would be okay either. So I won’t. I can’t even sleep anymore, and probably won’t for most of today either. I slept […]
so, after the failed attempt last week of shaving my legs (got really really bad razor burn, legs were covered in bumps) I noticed basically all of the bumps were gone, and they were just red spots on my legs, so I decided to try again, thinking it wouldn’t (really was thinking couldn’t) be as bad this time, I used a new razor instead of the dull one I used last time (it was dull last time) and I even used shampoo (no money for anything better) and welp, all was well, I thought I was fine, and then like 13 hours later during class, […]
Getting drunk again.. What a surprise.. I should be ashamed. Im a mess. Im a complete dumb ass. Im Pathetic. And worst of all im alive.
I stopped taking my meds…I feel terribly sick
I think its time I plan my demise.
I have a lot of work ahead of me. I have told many people that I am in fact planning to apply to grad school but in actuality I can’t imagine living another year. I think I would like to take my life on the day I told people that I would be applying. It wouldn’t look like I was planning anything but a happy fruitful impossible life and helps me keep up the illusion that I am able to function on a day to day basis as a typical human.
Enough hoping for my demise to come to […]
I only come to this website when I’m feeling down
and that’s ok because I know it will pass eventually
but it also sucks because I know that it will also come back like always.
It’s just a bummer to be doing something and then have the horrible thoughts come into your head. You don’t want them there but they stick around anyway, making everything miserable.
Anyway, that’s all.
I hope you all have a good day, stick in there you guys.
so I’ve been thinking about going on disability for a while, until I can get my shit together. I’m going to be 21 in a few months…and because I don’t have a job, all my help will come to a halt. And God knows if that happens I’m lost for good. And I can’t handle a lot right now. I get overwhelmed very easily. Just thinking about going on disability for a while makes me feel even more incapable then I already do.
On a different note…
Has anyone considered suicide by cop? I’ve been thinking about it.
My family are all two-faced bitches! If only i had known sooner, i would have never had anything to do with them, although they caused me loads of problems from 2008-2010 so i don’t know why the hell i didn’t come to terms sooner, i’m most likely retarded… All i know is i hate them!