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Mental Breakdown

Nykthos, shrine to Nyx

by Thanatos.Nykthos
written by Thanatos.Nykthos

My eyes roll back, my tongue hardens, balling up in my throat.

I choke on my body, every finger feels alone. As if somebody is pouring their voice into my mind, humming a drone which washes over me like I’m being boiled alive, I reeel repeatedly, awash sans sensation save an echoing of separation.

Like a hand to the face, or a soft bucket of cold water, my senses return, the highways of mind occupy themselves once more.

Defenseless, totally vulnerable to otherworldly nothing, unreasonable in any fashion.

 

 

/~\\

(Abandoned places)

https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/transition.html

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1362361318816053?prg140729=e1da73fb-d096-44f6-b6c1-fe74d31d939d&

https://www.bmj.com/content/341/bmj.c3222

https://www.uptodate.com/contents/suicidal-ideation-and-behavior-in-adults/print

https://drjonicewebb.com/how-to-deal-with-your-emotionally-neglectful-parents/

https://www.wikihow.com/Accept-That-Your-Parents-Don%27t-Understand-You

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantone_448_C

https://www.dwihn.org

(here- […]

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internal dialogue

by system
written by system

I can’t take it
i can’t I can’t i can’t
get out of my head
get out of my head
get OUT OF MY HEAD

I hate him
why did he do this to me?? why did he make me do all those things?? i want to tear my flesh open my skin is fucikgin crawling
I HATE YOU ****** you took EVERYTHING FROM ME

YOU TURNED MY 8 YEARS OF ABUSE INTO 9.  THIS BODY IS NO LONGER MINE, YOUR NAME IS ENGRAVED IN IT.

im at my fucking breaking point.  i’m VERY close to making an extremely irreversible impulsive decision.  would that make you happy, ******???? […]

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Been some time….

by Foreverdancing26
written by Foreverdancing26

It’s been some time since I’ve posted on here, because I really haven’t had much to say. Things had been normal & for the most part everything was cool, I was beginning to be able to handle myself… Then I lost it. Yesterday I literally tore apart my room, balled my eyes out & cut. I cut in a visible place (which makes it worse for me) & it sucks. Ppl have been noticing and since my cat recently passed I can’t use the cat excuse anymore. Idk I just had to get this out… I wish I knew what made me temporarily lose my mind, any […]

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What is wrong with me?

by PokeMorgan
written by PokeMorgan

Hey there,

I’ve been at a low point for many years (and since I’m 17 that’s a lot)

I was heavily bullied, I had suffered home abuse and loss, I self harmed, my grades were dropping drastically. I had a trunk load of self hate, saw no way out.

I attempted on January 2012, I failed, obviously. Though things looked up, the day out of hospital I found a new girlfriend.

5 months later, I ruin things, she can’t deal with my problems. She leaves me after I have a mental breakdown. Weeks later she sleeps with my Friend/Brother. I survive these next few months, barely.

Now 7 months after […]

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I need an advice, please…

by genius.otaku
written by genius.otaku

Today, I am posting this because I need an advice. Like almost every comrades here on this site, I am suffering…A lot. I want to die…But I have no intent of suiciding. I have 3 personalities, so they gave me 3 different choices of what to do, so help me to decide:

My 1st: Continue to suffer, until somebody save me or I have an mental breakdown -> killer -> cops will get rid of me. This guy is weak, lonely, yet gentle and kind.

My 2nd: Cry loud enough to gain everone attention/fake mental breakdown. This guy is stronger, easier to get rage, but is also […]

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Do you know the feeling?

by sono_libero
written by sono_libero

The feeling that things could not possibly get worse. When you are not even as much depressed as you are angry. When you feel like destroying something and throwing things around. When you sit in class and it takes all the energy you can possibly muster to not scream or have a mental breakdown. Where you are desperately trying to just stay sane. That’s where I am now. I’m trapped. And they all hate me.

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I actually rarely really complain about things that matter.

by christina--
written by christina--

I dont want attention. I dont want anyones pity. I dont want people to tell me how I was wronged in this big bad world. I dont want people touching me, hugging me..
I dont want to acknowledge how hard I have been hitting rock bottom for months. Not months, years.  Ive been hitting it over and over again, and I think I finally managed to break the ground and go beneath it.

What I really want is for someone to hold me. Not just a hug. I want to be hold all night to wake up in those same arms the next morning. I want […]

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I don’t know what to do….

by Nat....
written by Nat....

I knew this would happen, I fucking knew it. Promises don’t count once the relationship ends, do they?

I promised Luis then when this time came I wouldn’t kill myself. But I really can’t take this anymore, Today was the first day back to school and the first thing to happen was one of my really bad headaches. :I Then during second lesson and break I felt a mental breakdown coming. What pushed it over the edge was an email from a ‘Friend’ saying that he didn’t want to deal with a suicidal friend. Which is nice. And now.. Well, I’m fucking suicidal. I just don’t […]

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I need to stop…

by nightmarechild
written by nightmarechild

I cut. A lot..

I’ve done it for about a year. I swore to myself I would never harm myself like that, but look where I am now. I have an arm and two ankles covered in scars and cuts. I think of cutting as a stronger way of crying; i feel so weak just bursting into tears, so intsted i cut, it shows i’m strong enough to deal with pain. But now I know I need to stop. People who mean so much to me tell me I need to stop. I’m loosing people because of it. I nearly went to hospital because the bleeding wouldn’t stop. […]

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My Will

by carysedge
written by carysedge

I’m Carys, and this is my story. It started back in seventh grade, from January to now. I had recently met a girl, Kristin. We clicked right away and life was good. Until summer. One of my friends from before, Olivia, started acting up a bit. She was quieter, and preferred to stay behind more. I got concerned, but she wouldn’t say anything. Later, I discovered Kristin was a lesbian, and she liked me. I was kind of astonished, and I didn’t know what to think. Eventually, I fell in love with her. At the same time, however, Olivia revealed to me she liked Kristin. […]

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Hurt

by xXUnusualXx
written by xXUnusualXx

It’s plain and simple, I am hurt. I don’t know whether to
call it depressed, bipolar or maybe even suicidal. I don’t fit fully into one
of those categories. After all I see my emotions as a vase; One that’s cracked and
overfilled, but painted over and glued to hide the unwanted things. Every time
something emotional happens it feels like someone took my vase and slammed it
down on a table, causing the fragile makeover to shatter, letting a cascade of
water to spill through. Of course then I have to scurry and pick up all the pieces
and carefully repaint every little detail […]

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The horror stared right into my eyes

by Firemanhero
written by Firemanhero

This is about me 3 years ago and how I survived looking into the horror that I have created. I was a lonely person my whole life and I been reading all the time. What else does a boy with no friends have to do. Anyway at age of 17 I spent months in my room reading. I had hundreds of books there. And one book which I ran across had affected me in a very bad way. I got interested in it and I read it over and over and somehow suddenly it affected me. I began to have paranoid thoughts and become scared […]

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forever alone

by jan26
written by jan26

im dyslexic so some of my writing may read oddly. i am planning on taking my life.  i am female mid twenties and have been through the exhausting trial and error of meds ,GPs and counselors. my real issue is social exclusion and bullying. i m an easy target since i m painfully shy , unattractive , and i  am almost incapable of smiling, and being able to talk with flow and interest. i was a mute child and i find social  situations very difficult. the only work i can get is retail , this is traumatic for me as talking to some difficult  people can lead me with shakes, sweats , and  exstream anxiety. i am probably branded […]

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I never thought, I’d die alone. I laughed the loudest, Who’d have known?….

by Nat....
written by Nat....

I don’t know what to do.

Cry?- Check. Have a mental breakdown?-Check. Sit and stare into space?- Check.

So.. Tonight, at about half eight-nine, i started to break down. I started to tell myself that it was happening and everyone is going to die. Then i logged onto facebook to try to calm myself down, only to read a lot of status’ about Chantelle…. Things like R.I.P. After some research, i found out that on Tuesday 3rd April 2012, she committed suicide.

I didn’t know her, but still this news has mentally destroyed me.

It makes me think that, how i’m feeling right now… will be what it’s like […]

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Wishing, Waiting, Dying……

by hauntingyou
written by hauntingyou

It all started a year and a half ago when I came home from school to find out that my mother had died from an drug overdose earlier that morning. Being a daughter of an former alcoholic father and drug addict mother, I’ve had some hard times. From neglect to some form of abuse. From moving into a new house every couple of months with other family to watching my mother slowly die on the bathroom floor from an overdose – again. I’ve been through many things that some people would never experience. Or so I’ve been told. That was probably the worst day of […]

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