Who else here, has had so many mental disorders since childhood, that you never really developed an actual personality? You don’t have one, because you never even had a chance at one. Having just a a strange slew of symptoms. Personality? you don’t have one only having a strange slew of never ending symptoms that make your head spin and turn. They say healing things like depression that the goal is to “get back to your old self”, but I don’t have anything to go back to. Just static nothingness.
I have had misophonia for over 30 years and psoriasis for nearly as long despite being prescribed immunosuppressants. As a result of arguments with a family member I have attempted to commit suicide twice by overdosing prescription drugs (beta-blockers and sleeping pills which shall remain nameless). On the second attempt late last year I was found by a doctor and taken to hospital where I narrowly avoided being sent to psychiatric hospital. Waking up in a hospital in a Fentanyl induced daze is a peculiar experience, especially being read the riot act for trying to take out my cannula.
As my misophonia and psoriasis are incurable […]
Some people don’t believe in mental illness or think that it’s not a big deal. Those of us who struggle with them understand how untrue this is. Until you’ve gone through an illness with no cure, you can’t possibly understand how taxing it is. Some people take offense to this argument, but they are the lucky ones. Every person has their weights to bear, but some weights have a time limit. Mental illness does not.
Until my first hospitalization in a mental ward, I didn’t realize how real mental illness is. I thought I cut myself and starved myself because I was lonely. Now I look […]
Hi, this is my first time posting. I am up late at night because I am having trouble sleeping. The night before last I attempted to hang myself but it failed. It was more of a test run then a full blown attempt. Not finding success, in the morning, I bought charcoal and a grill to try that method. I assembled the grill, placed it in my car and that is as far as I got. In the end, I am not ready to kill myself, but all the pain and regrets of my past feel like they are killing me slowly and painfully.
I am […]
I was born with an anxiety disorder as well as some minor facial deformities and cognitive deficits that affect my ability to socialize and have been struggling with all these things along with major depression and body dysmorphia for much of my life (am 21 btw). I have nothing in life, no friends, just dropped out of college, can’t hold a job, and very little family. I actually just met my father for the first time this past year and was hopeful that that could blossom into a positive relationship. But while I recently was in his city for unrelated reasons I offered to meet up with […]
So to get started let me just say this i am clinically insane I’ve been diagnosed with multi-personality disorder i’m bipolar schizophrenic i show a lack of or no empathy all together i also suffer from ptsd. and to put that in perspective im 18. also sorry about grammar and capitalization but im in a rush. to make a long story short its hard to know me and its even harder to pretend you do so don’t bother trying. also the family card doesn’t work they’re part of the reason im like this. im killing myself because of three reasons 1 im board 2 life […]
I dream of a better world then what we live in. One where people can be who they are. One where society doesn’t tell me I have to be skinny to be pretty, have to be mean to make friends. A world where people don’t have depression or feel suicidal or any other mental disorder because the worlds so perfect that its sickening. I want to be able to walk outside and not get robbed or go to school and not get shot. But I know that will never happen because it just my… DREAM
Hey Suicide Project!
I’m new to the site and I’m kind of hoping that keeping a blog will be a good outlet for me. I’m Elizabeth and I suffer from a mental disorder known as Dissociative Identity Disorder or (DID). What does this mean? Well formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder or (MPD); DID is a mental disorder on the dissociative spectrum characterized by at least two distinct and relatively enduring identities or dissociated personality states that alternately control a person’s behavior. But, what does this mean for me? This means that I “host” several other alternate personalities. I refer to myself as the host because […]
Hey there, Basically I’m 18 dropped out of school. Ive been facing mental health problems since i was 15 and tried to take my own life. I was hospitalised this year for 9 weeks and then a day patient for 6 weeks after. Im no better and I’ve the doctors have decided to stop treating me as they don’t know whats wrong. anyhow due to this fact that i can’t be helped and my lack of future and many many other things I’ve decided that tonight I’m going to take my own life.
does anybody have any tips on like is there anyway i can make […]
I can’t deal with being fucking bullied anymore. I’m still being called an idiot, a *****, a sociopath, and an attention seeker in person and online. I’ve gotten more threats, such as being pushed down stairs AGAIN and getting the shit kicked out of me. Meanwhile I don’t talk or interact with these people whatsoever. Seriously I cannot get away from this bullshit no matter what I do. The worst part is I can’t do shit about it because nobody fucking cares anymore. This is why I should just keep all of my emotions bottled up because whenever I share them I end up being […]
I’ve decided I’m going to make my exit. Not tonight, not in the near future. But the sands of time are trickling. It was around this time last year (oct/nov) that my moderate depression took a sudden darker turn. It was like a switch went off. It was a sudden emotionless matter-of-fact realization: I have nothing to live for. Nothing, truly. I have a husband who loves me dearly, but you simply can’t live for other people. This time last year I made the decision… but how? where? Planning is crucial, not only because I don’t want a failed attempt. I’ve felt out of control […]
You know when somebody says “You shouldn’t be around people who make you unhappy.” There’s only one person that makes me unhappy, and that’s my mom. The worst part is I am forced to be around her. She is emotionally abusive and she claims that she has never said anything bad to me. She says I’m a *****, a drama queen, that I’m crazy, and she hopes I run away. She is the reason i cry so much. I’ve suffered from depression since I was 8, and my mom has always belittled me about it. My older brother at the age of 7 had a […]
I question my existence every waking minute. It doesn’t matter if I’m awake or asleep, I live within nightmares whether lucid or subconsciously. I have tried everything to change my mind but there is nothing left for me here. I fear myself to be a burden to those whom I love and in my demise I feel as though I would free them of their constant angst due to the worry they possess for me. The problem is; I don’t want to die! But I am not living. This is not living. I am merely respiring, merely going through the motions of being alive. Yet […]
This story is 100% batshit nut TRUE STORY. and its pretty queer and peculiar but here it goes……I NEVER thought I would be so unhappy in life but I realized shit hit the fan in my life from the beginning ….
BOTH of my parents conceived me in the state mental hospital and I was born in 1988 and was adopted
I have been homeless for over 2 years since 2011. and I tried to commit suicide 4 times too. I suffered a lot of emotional torture from being a crossdressing punk rocker who was raised in a adopted close minded conservative home , that I moved out of in 2006. […]
depression is silent, it creeps up to you at first, and then all at once. Sometimes it causes anxiety, a mental disorder. I think it’s funny how most people say I don’t do anything for them, when in reality, I do much more. I fake smiles and wipe my tears to avoid them getting stressed, I don’t talk to them so they don’t have to put up with me, and most importantly I pretend I don’t have a mental illness called depression.
As the lines from one of my favorite songs;
“So what if you can see, the darkest part of me? Nothing can stop […]
I wish and want things within my life to get better, but for somehow they just continue to get worser. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, Insomnia, Generalized and Social Anxeity Disorders and aÂ long list of other problems I dont care to list. I’ve been suffering from Depression since I was nine years old, I also started self- harming at this age. I’ve been thru alot trying to recover and cope with the issues I have going on from day to day. It s taking a tow on me, andÂ I can’t seem to focus on anything else besides my issues. Hate my life and Hate […]
At the age of 17 after signing paper to come to kicking horse job corps in Montana. I had a break down. remember that I have PTSD, I had a psychotic break down. this is honestly that hardest part of my life Its hard for me to tell people. but here it goes. I had a psychotic break down I was homicidal and suicidal. I showed up at my moms not(best friends mom and his house)Â house.Â She wasn’t feeling good. she was feeling sick that day. She looked at me and asked if I was okay. all I could manage was a head shake saying no.Â […]
I want to die, and not because I’m going through some ‘rough times’ or whatever, I’ve felt this way since I was at school.
I’m in my 20’s and I have mental health problems, manic depression,Â insomnia, amongst other things, I never have any energy nor feel happiness.
I feel like life isn’t for me, it’s all too hard when I think of it all, it’s soÂ daunting and I just don’t have the energy for it. I can’t hold down a job because of my insomnia, so what’s the point of living? I’m not wired properly to ever be happy and I’ll always have problems doing normal […]
I know genreally pill overdoses fail and such but mine is well backed up my extensive research so its not a option. I know there is the chance i will end up in hostipal in agnosing pain as my liver will be completly destroyed after 200 pills of these kind but thats a risk im willing to take. Hanging was my go to for a long time but I just cant bare for my parents to hear “your daughters hung herself” its just too brutal exleast this way they will get to be by my bedside in hostipal. It pains me to be typing this […]