this is my first post.
i struggle with anxiety and major depression.
i’m not sure how to cope with anything. my parents misraised me and i have no friends.
everyone hates me and bullies me and thinks i should just kill myself, so why the fuck shouldn’t i..
all of my ex boyfriends said i was worthless and should.. so.. yeah..
nothing’s alright. i constantly feel the need to cut myself.
i constantly feel the need to tie a noose and hang myself.
i constantly feel the need to die. i’ve lost everything.
i don’t have a family, i don’t have friends.
my parents gave me up 7 months ago and made it […]
When I was nine my stepdad started drug dealing. The people that he would sell to were either junkies off the street or very powerful people. To help his buisness he would strap me down to a chair and test the drugs out on me in front of his clients and when he bought off of some one. He sold crack, oxicotten, pain killer, meth, weed pretty much any drug you could think of. I dont know how he gets it all i know is ive been the test dummy for 5 years.
I’ve read a few stories of sexual abuses, and I can relate. I guess that’s a round about way of putting it. After finding myself with no place to live at eighteen, I joined the Marines. After boot camp, I married my high school sweetheart, who then had an affair with my neighbor while I was at work. Shortly after discovering that, while working through a law suit, I had to then work through no pay due for three months… Begging charities to put food on the table for my wife who was sleeping around behind my back.
I meet a new woman, who’s the love […]
I’ve been fucking on and off depressed for fucking 3 fucking years maybe now. Fuck I know im fucking swearing a fucking lot. The fucking bull fucking shit thing is I hadn’t sworn for fucking 8 months until now im fucking exploding. I fucking hit my boiling fucking point. Fuck life. Only fucking thing I care about is my Dog. Fuck people. Fuck everyone. Fuck peoples fucking fucking shitty fucking bullfucking shit fuck opinions. Why can fucking fuckers just shut the fuck up and keep there fucking mouth shut. Fucking FUCK.
I’m going to try to refrain my swearing from now on although it’s still completely […]
I’m not really wanted here at my home, my town, or my school. People even say it to me. Everyone seems to be strait up with me. Like “No one even likes you here, just leave already.” “If you take all of your medication and die no one would even care.” I mean like, I ignore them. But I can see why they don’t like me, I don’t even like me. Haha. I’m ugly, I’m too quiet, I never talk, I’m weird, I stare too much, I try to be smart in school (but get judged for it), my whole life revolves around my dead […]
I’ve never done this before but I need someone who understands me to talk to. Let me start by describing myself a little bit. So I’m a 25yo woman (kid at heart). I’m told by most I look like I should be a model (I don’t see it). I have an awsome personality very down to earth open minded and supportive to others and have a lot of knowledge about life do to my own exploring. I have no kids but the best dog in the world that I would take a bullet for and a man of 6 years. But ever since I can […]
Im sure I sound like a million different ppl u all have heard but, SUICIDE IS NEVER THE WAY!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE READ MY STORY AND I HOPE IT CAN HELP AT LEAST ONE PERSON. I came home from the hospital about 3 hours ago and it starts like this…. I an 23 years old/female and have struggled with depression and anxiety from the age of 12. I was sexually abused as a child by multipule family members including my own father. i have always struggled with my identity and feeling that others didnt love me and i never loved myself very much either. I have […]
I have been on this earth just short of 22 years and already I have tried to leave three times. The people that know this all tell me that it’s a good thing, maybe its “ment” to be that I am here. I really don’t think that at all. I really just think that I have not been smart enough this whole time, that I need to make sure it happens for real this time. Yeah sure I have some schooling and people say they like me, but that’s not enough. I don’t like myself. I don’t like where I came from, entire family addicted […]
I am, aren’t I? I am going mad.
How am I feeling?
Absolutely, positively, maddeningly sad.
I went to the gas station by my house instead of having dinner, and spent the whole time asking myself a never-ending string of what if’s? Â What if all of this is a waste? What if everything is irrational? What if? What if? What if?
When they say “It’s sink or swim”, What if you just get the fuck out of the water?
So in depression is it really sink or swim? Â You can drown in depression, or struggle to swim away… Unless you get the fuck out. Take a […]
Its a long list dedicated to the people who ruined Â any chance of happiness for me..
To the Â guy who raped me at a party where i drank to much then denied it, then continued to harass me and put me in situations where im just as vulnerable.
To the guy who i dated for 2 years, told everything to, then who told everyone.
To the girl who fed my addiction, taught me about cutting, bought me a razor, and ever since the first time i’ve did it, i’ve done it every single night since.
To the ex best friend who left me in my most desperate state.
To my […]
Wow, its been a long 35 years. This story started along time before I was born. Lets start with a US Marine who had one too many tours in vietnam, my mothers stepfather( my spelling is really bad sorry) Not sure if it ws the war or just an inate evil, the man that is still alive, did horrible things to my mother and my aunt. My mother and father were married in in the early 70s thing were great for both of them until 1980, my dad recked his truck on the way homefrom work, broke his neck, never walked again, full quad, they […]
When people use alcohol, marijuana, heroin, cocaine, (lean/sizzurp/codeine/etc), meth, and prescriptions to cope they are put in rehab centers or jail to stop their actions.Â (Yes the obvious is that most of those are illegal).Â They are told they should be sober and rational to decide how to live their lives.
Yet if one has soberly and rationally decided to end one’s life because one is tired of going through things, then one is told that they have a ‘mental issue’ and need a bevy of prescribed drugs to set them right.Â Many no safer on the body in the long term than illegal drugs and […]
hi there im lily. im the age of under 18. if your on here just cuz your bored or you actually wanna know, w/e i dont really care if your willing to listen then great! cuz id like you to know my story…
my life was and still slightly is wrapped up in lies. it was taking everything over. it wasÂ making me into something i wasnt and getting me into alot of trouble. it was getting me down that everything i talked about wasnt real. i was getting sick of it.
then theres alan. hes now my ex but was my SPD (sadistic personality disorder) boyfriend. […]
I thought i could trust them
Thought they were my friend.
My broken soul that trembles as i wake
My parents who left me to die alone
I may struggle but no one helps me
I fall deep under my shattered blood
trust me alone with the knives left…
Left on the counter
i walk slowly over to them
My hands shaking
I can’t do it all alone
The pain to keep my arms held up.
The pain to live alone with
No one who loves me not at all
my bitter mind shuts the harsh cold world out
The keys to my broken soul is lost
People can’t understand when i fall unto my …
my floor with no breath left