Tag:

Mind Control Victim

internal conflict

by system 3/12/2021

written by system

****** im so sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry. im sorry for ******* *** **. please don’t get **** ** ******. i broke my promise to ******* ***. i couldn’t ******* **** either. im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry

why am i sorry

why am i apologizing

to the person who destroyed me

what the fuck is wrong with me?

you did unspeakable things to me. things i will never be able to forget or erase from this body. i still have the scars, your name included. i still have the wax burns.

i love you but i fucking hate your guts. you’ve taken everything from me yet […]

3/12/2021 2 comments

the anger that i didn’t know was there

by system 2/11/2021

written by system

i spoke to my therapist today. i read to her my recent journals to help me evoke emotions so i could actually talk about something. i spoke about how bad the nightmares have been getting, how the paranoia is affecting me, et cetera… and i don’t quite remember how, but we ended up on the topic of the recent violently abusive situation i was in (in august). there was something there that i hadn’t unearthed before? the anger towards my parents. allow me to provide some context: in the situation i was in, i was being blackmailed. my abuser was forcing me to do horrible […]

2/11/2021 4 comments