no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this can’t happen, no, no, no, no, this won’t happen, no, no, no, no, no, this is just some sick twisted joke, this is just a misunderstanding, the computer or whatever messed up. no, no, no, no, it won’t can’t shan’t happen, but it is. why, why me. whhy not the next person. why not no-one. no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I won’t stand for it…
Tag:
Misunderstanding
My sister died two weeks ago. Both of us had struggled with depression all our lives, but found different ways to deal with it… which caused us to have little in common the last few years. We had been communicating again and on good terms since summer, but had not actually seen each other (except when she was in the ICU) since a family get-together about two years ago.
At that event there was drama, which I loathe, and a lot of misunderstanding and misrepresentation of a letter I’d written her saying I was just completely burned out, used up, and could not function any more trying […]
I’m a monster. I destroy everything I touch. I’m a freak.
These are the thoughts that have plagued my mind for the past two years. It all started when I lost my best friend in 9th grade. After she joined band, we got into different social groups. I always had issues with making new friends, so I became her “stalker”. She began to distance herself from me, and I began to threaten to cut myself to get her to talk to me. At first the threats weren’t serious, but threats always turn into promises. When the cuts eventually lost its effectiveness, I began making suicidal threats. […]
Its not even funny anymore why am I getting into these difficult situations and being blamed for shit which i havnt done.
First thing that happened recently is my ‘best’ friend turned around one day and just told me to go away and to never talk to her again…. I was like ok? wth… so anyways a couple of days later i talked to her again and she starts that crap again telling me to fuck off.. by now I’m like what the fuck have I done… So I ask someone else and they say I apparently I was taking about my friend behind her back… […]
So my brother thought he would sit me down and have a long chat with me about all the mistakes i am making in my life because i obviously don’t see it.
Usually when he starts his criticism rant i just walk off and that’s the end. Except this time all i could do was sit there. I have a broken leg and my crutches were strategically placed away from me. Also how can i walk away on crutches… very slowly and he’d just follow anyway. Plus i was living in HIS house at the time so it’s not like i could go anywhere.
Although i am […]
I don’t know how to explain my self. WHO AM I.
Im seeing a new therapist today and im extremely anxious.
I don’t even know what to say to her.
AM I SIMPLE OR AM I COMPLICATED
I don’t know where to start.
I don’t want to have miscommunication and misunderstanding
I am scared of myself.
I am scared of finding myself. Who I truly am.
I don’t know how to introduce myself like how do I define myself if I can’t think clearly, if I don’t have much going for me, if I don’t have real friends if I do not have many strengths, or interests. I bad at just about everything, […]
A week from today, I will end my life. I have known for better than 20 years that my end would come by my own hand. Now it is time. While I am both heart-broken and depressed, I also realize that I no longer have the capacity to contribute to the world at large, much less to those I love, in any meaningful way. I’ve known for roughly five years that the confluence of events over the course of my now 46 years were heading in this direction. I’ve sunk ever so slowly into a situation that makes my ability to continue, impossible.
A month ago, […]